I normally don’t break from my planned post. Today’s post was going to be a lead in to next week’s WDDIJ podcast and some reaction to the feedback from my first Wrath of Ruthless podcast. Instead I’m going to address something that I predict now will end with Your Favorite Super Villain receiving hate emails from parents starting with “You don’t know anything because you don’t have kids.” To those people who are sending them, you suck at parenting, because I real parent would understand everything I’m about to say. So let’s get into it.
Your kid is a bully because you suck at parenting.
This all started because in my office we were talking about bullying, cyber bullying and general bully culture. And that’s when I went on a bit of a tirade about the creation of a bully. The reality is kids do not become bullies apropos of nothing. And the modern bully first culture is a development of the same problems exacerbated by technological advancement. Children have no responsibility. And in modern civilization(We’ll talk society vs. Civilization another day), we have decided that permissiveness is better than the mere possibility of stifling potential. The pendulum has swung far in the opposite direction of previous generations. Kids used to rebel because their parents would not allow certain activities. Now they don’t rebel they demand. More tech, better clothes, specialized diets, and the like used to be just general complaints of any kid, now they are the teenaged(and much younger) rallying cry.
But permissiveness has become telling kids over and over how special they are. The belief that if you just tell your kid they are awesome enough times that their self esteem and personal drive will lead them to dizzying heights of achievements among their peer group and the world at large. But this is so wrong it is almost criminal. You are not teaching them to socialize, you are teaching them that they are above reproach, and because children have no concept of social cues or responsibility they bring this mentality along when with other children. But lets go a bit deeper, because this isn’t the only piece.
When you participate in the glorification and then destruction of everything from celebrities to political figures to athletes you teach your children who have no other frame of reference that this is not to be done to each other that it is okay. Let’s use Tiger Woods cause he’s easy to understand. When you take vocal shots at Tiger and his actions you often aren’t explaining that your problem is his infidelity, not his performance prior to it. SO to a kid who hasn’t had the years of understanding the nuanced relationship between personal and professional lives, it seems like it is okay to take on someone who has achieved some separation between themselves and the rest of society. Essentially, that you can be justified in tearing down anyone. And that the higher their profile the more okay it is.
Well what do you think a kid is going to do when they see someone else has an achievement? What about when their peer group clearly sees the other kid has gotten separation between themselves and your kid and the rest? Exactly. You’ve just built a bully. And it doesn’t matter whether the kid is a physical take your lunch money bully, or an internet troll, or one of those annoying 12 year olds who plays online and doesn’t understand how offensive screaming they are going to rape your mom, calling you a faggot, or calling you a nigger really is.
But the inverse is also true. Because a well adjusted kid can both avoid bullying, and avoid being a bully themselves. But that requires you to stop believing you are a special unique snowflake as well. That requires you to know more than just the basics about your child’s school and general socialization environment. That requires you stop being entitled, and annoying, and generally unaware that you are building the kind of monster even we of the Super Villain community dislike. You who do nothing when your 4 year old is being an annoying brat in line…well EVERYWHERE, when they are kicking the seat in front of them on the plane. When they won’t shut up because you brought them to a rated R movie at 9pm on a Friday(I choose to believe God has a special punishment for every single one of you people). And any excuse you have will be met with…then don’t bring your kid there, or do that at another time, or you made the choice so do your DAMN JOB. Yes I just blamed the last 2 decades of internet trolls and bullies on you parents. And do you know why? Because if an adult is being an asshole and gets into a fight over it, it is their fault. BUT, if they’ve always been offending folks for the sake of offense, and now use the internet’s anonymity for it? Well that’s a nurture problem. And that is your fault. Tyler Durden was right, you are not a unique snowflake. You’re an idiot and should never have been allowed to breed in the first place. Since you have, fix your problem, or stop burdening the rest of us.
– THE Ruthless Wonder aka “Lex Luthor”