Hello again people of the interwebs, it has been a while. Usually I post every Monday, it’s kind of my thing, but lately you might have noticed that I’ve been….well slacking. I’ve never been good with public relations, really I’m pretty awkward, and so for me trying to stay relevant has always been hard. The thing is, I won’t post unless it’s something I’m passionate about, so if I get bored typing it I can only imagine how bored you’d get reading it. You are so very fickle after all. Today I would like to talk about something I don’t understand. About a topic that will probably forever plague the male mind and confuse the hell out of them for decades. I want to talk about women.
Yes I will be the first one to admit that I don’t know much about how the female mind works, though rest assured I do not believe they all work the same. As my sister would say, “Some of these hoes are just plain crazy,” and though it isn’t how I would word it, I am forced to agree. You see I have in my life a number of women, most older in age but all older in wisdom, and every time I speak with them about relationships they manage to give me insight into a different world, into a woman’s world.
The topic today comes from my two co-workers, Teach (whom I call so because, yea you guessed it, she teaches me all sorts of things.) n Fire Starter who also teaches me things, but the nickname is more of an inside joke. Anyway I wondered just why is it women seem to take things so personally, it’s just one of those things I’ve noticed and have always been curious about. STORY TIME!!!! Now, I’m no saint. Not even close to it, but I like to believe that I’ve gotten better over the years, and the story I’m about to share will show you why. Back in high school, probably around hmmmm JR. year there was a girl whom sat at our lunch table with me and my friends who was very chatty. Now, one day I was in a particularly foul mood and she with her cheerfulness just happened to enter into the firing range, so n though I apologized later, I remember calling her fat like three times, to which I believe she left the table, pulled on a sweat shirt, and then went to cry. Sad right? Well yea it sucks, but hey I was 17, and though that doesn’t excuse the behavior it is a point in my life that I’m not particularly proud of.
Back to the subject at hand, I spent a lot of time wondering just why she cried or felt bad, I mean WE weren’t really that close, and though I called her fat (she wasn’t) she still acted my words were true, she still took them to heart. Why? Ladies let me tell you, if you go around talking about how small a guys penis is, at least, guys I know, they wouldn’t give to shakes of a lambs tail. Why? Because we’re men, and we usually don’t let such things stick to us. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we don’t get angry or hurt, but give it a couple of hours (hell minutes depending on who said it) and we’re over it. After a week it’s probably forgotten. So for me when I called that girl fat I didn’t expect her to hold onto that (wonder whatever happened to her) for however long she held it for (more than a week) but to simply verbally abuse me back in some weird kind of ritual that guys do.
Anyway, after hearing my little tale, Teach and Fire starter were appalled. They scolded me for being so horrible and vile, but I still didn’t understand what the big deal was. I mean who cares? Well apparently women do. Women have the capacity to take the words of a random stranger and let them affect them in a very serious way. Not to say that it happened often, but the mere fact that it could happen is both horrifying and intriguing to me. If a random woman said a guy was fat he’d just call her the big C n keep it moving. Now if a man tells a random woman the same thing she might put on a front, but then the seed of doubt has been planted, and she might just believe it in a weird kind of way.
So what does this all mean? I’ll tell you. Women do not, I repeat, DO NOT FORGET!! My coworker still remembers the lady who cut her in line over ten years ago, and swears she would punch her in the face is she ever saw her again. Do you have any idea how crazy that is? I can’t even hold a grudge past a week and she been holding hers for a decade, that is some serious memory my friend. But it doesn’t stop there, oh no no no, I still have to find the why to all these things.
Why do women take things so personally? Is it genetic? Perhaps it is society? Upbringing? I will continue my search for answers, and maybe one day I’ll have them, but until then….I’m sorry. To all you ladies I’ve ever pissed off whom I probably don’t remember I’m sorry!!! Last thing I need is a blast from the past coming to roaring at me over something I don’t even remember.