What Are We?

Welcome to the Secret Thoughts of Reason…

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Why is it that men get so freaked out when a woman asks, “What are we?”

What exactly is it about the words “What are we?” that send you into a frenzy?

Does the word “we” equate to “marriage” or “life-long partner” or maybe you hear the word “forever”.

While I cannot speak for every woman, I will speak for the sound ones….

When a woman asks, “What are we?”….She only wants to know what is occurring between you AND her.

For example:what are we1

Are “we” friends?

Are “we” dating?

Are “we” just hooking up?

Are “we” friends with benefits?


“What are we ≠ When are you going to propose because I want to get married NOW.”

Women simply want to know what KIND of relationship is taking place.

Why do we need to know?


Some women… do want to get married NOW, so if you are only looking to “hook” up, she needs to know VERY EARLY on because she now needs to make a decision about whether or not to continue this relationship when she knows you and her DO NOT HAVE THE SAME OBJECTS.

Some women… want to be friends with benefits. For whatever reason she does not want a long term relationship, she just wants your company & your equipment ;). So if you are looking for something more permanent, she doesn’t WASTE YOUR TIME NOR HERS.

Some women…. what to be just friends. They know they want something more in the future, it MAY OR MAY NOT be with you, but FOR NOW she just wants to be your friend. Now I am not talking about the “friend zone” [where we know this guy would never be anything more than just a friend], what I mean is a person who is of the opposite sex who MAY potentially turn into something more in the future.

Lastly, some women… want to just “hook up”. They do not want your friendship or your companionship, JUST YOUR equipment. I know that may be a hard pill for some to swallow, but some women CAN just HAVE SEX and not want anything more in return.

Why am I going on this rant?what are we2

Because I hate that women feel they cannot ask the dreaded question, “What are we?” because she doesn’t want the man to think she is a psycho stalker who wants his hand & his seeds [hand = marriage].

I hate that we choose to stay in limbo and not know what is going on rather than just ask the simple question.

It’s annoying…

So, my men, my beautiful, sexy men…DO NOT assume that when a girl asks “What are we?” that she wants you to “put a ring on it”.

I know there are “crazy, stalker, I’ve only known you for a week & I’m in love & wanna have your baby” women out there, and it is, sometimes hard to distinguish them from the sound ones (no offense to those type of women)…

BUT, what I am saying is, men, while there is that kind of woman out there & you don’t know which woman falls into which category, I simply want you to keep an open mind if & when you hear the words, “What are we?”

Practice these instructions at home so that when the time comes you are prepared & do not freak out!


  1. Take a deep breathwhat are we 4
  2. Pause
  3. Remember this post!
  4. Open your mouth & say (or if you are texting…text): “Well we are______)
    1. Insert your INTENSIONS in the blank
    2. Don’t panic here are some examples:
      1. We are just friends
      2. We are getting to know each other & maybe something more will come later
      3. I’m not looking for anything serious right now
  5. Then wait for her to respond
  6. Don’t forget to breathe while she is talking!
  7. Listen to what she is saying
  8. Now the hard part: determine if your INTENTIONS match her INTENTIONS

I believe if you follow these simple instructions EVERYONE’S life would be so much easier.

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Don’t worry men, I have a post to address the women as well, where I will instruct them to SAY WHAT THEY MEAN…

Thanks for listening….any comments, questions comment below!

Check out my last post Louise! And one of my “controversial” post Angry Black Queen!

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