We’re about to talk about Orange Juice…seriously
One of the things that connects me with most of my friends is our ability to have multi hour long, insanely late night generally pointless conversations. Oddly enough most of these don’t end up as part of my blogs. I may have to change that. This Weekend With Ruthless is about one of the recent ones I had with Ronin. Sadly no it is not about him returning anytime soon. Dude’s moving to Ye Olde Orlando. And if you can figure out by the end of this why that’s even funnier than it should be, well you win this week’s favorite follower contest(Contest does not exist).
We were cruising I-435 talking about life and the things going on. For those of you who don’t know 435 makes a full loop around the KC metro area. Takes about an hour and a half to do the full thing depending on how fast you go. So while we were out there we got on the subject of the video link below. I started it for you at the important part, but for those who’s setting made it start at the beginning, you’re looking for 1 minute and 52 seconds in.
[youtube=http://youtu.be/6YZP0gsgE1s?t=1m52s] – Credit to Top Rope Zeus
For those of you who can’t watch due to any country restrictions(See I’m looking out for you 2 fans in Singapore and 1 guy in China). The segment of the video I referenced at 1:52 is about creating a generally accepted hookup phrase for all to use. What phrase? Well something simple, seemingly innocuous, and something you could say in polite company or around even around *GASP* your parents or children. Orange Juice. You say to the person Orange Juice. They give you a Yes, No, Hell No, fa sho, or as the woman does in the video, “Fa real?”, And in what has got to be the funniest method of response, you say “I got yo glass” and hit them with the creep face.
Now this is entirely ridiculous for obvious reasons, but imagine how differently you’d look at every Tropicana commercial. I should also point out I lost a bet during said cruise around KC with Ronin and was required to send a few Orange Juice texts out(BLAME HIM NOT ME!), and that of course got me to make this blog post. There were 3 categories of reactions to my forced foray into this flight of fancy.
1. The biggest category by far were the ones who responded with some form of “what?” What are you texting me about Orange Juice for, you know I don’t like orange juice, I’m not flying to KC to bring you orange juice. The best of those was, “You were in Orlando for 3 years, don’t you have a lifetime supply?”
2. Next largest Category was some version of I’m saying no because I’m sure this is something weird. And when I’m texting you Orange Juice at midnight, yeah…that’s fair
3. Sadly only 2 people caught this joke entirely and I received “Oh you got my glass now?” and “I could use a glass” followed by lols cause let’s be real, we’re talking about me here. And I was pretty sure I’d shown them the video in the first place.
But this brings up an interesting question. Why do we need to treat hookups so cloak and dagger like? I can’t even say I get it for the folks cheating on their spouses. Here’s why. I spent about 2 hours having a conversation in Spain with an Ex-pat from Texas who was telling me how repressed he was in the US. He had been born in the US, and until he was done with college his family had bounced back and forth between homes in the two countries. Now we talked about a lot but on this subject of repression I wanted to know more. Basically, nothing was a big deal to him in Europe. Not to the point he was out there just smanging everything that moves, but he made it clear he never really hides his agenda. He wasn’t the only one, but he was the normal guy of the bunch. This orange juice discussion, and the subsequent other responses we thought up following it, made me think of him again.
In the end I don’t have an answer on this one. This is a Weekend with Ruthless after all, I’m just blogging random thoughts. But with one of the subjects of the massive collab blogs coming up being relationships, and another concerning sex and sexualization, I think an America-wide Orange juice code would be useful. Men can get a straight answer out of the women they kinda wanna see if they feel some type of way about them. Women can even more easily get rid of the dudes they are generally certain are only around for the potential chance to give them a Sunny D delivery. And of course it is a slick way to avoid feeling like you’re promiscuous without giving up your late night adult consensual activities. Tell me what you think.
– THE Ruthless Wonder
All credit for the Initial “Orange juice. Fa Real? I Got Yo Glass. *Creep Face*” goes to Top Rope Zeus.