This piece was originally going to be a massive breakdown of the current issues annoying me. But in light of the weekend, the elections, and some upcoming news I want to chop this into 2 things. Plus one cool announcement.
The First Thing.
After taking time to calm down about the lack of voting in the last election I wanted to congratulate all the people who had candidates they supported win. Certainly the lion’s share belongs to my republican friends. And for good reason in many cases. Many people are going to assume that I am a republican based on that comment, but the reality is I’m glad someone came out to vote. West Virginia elected a college freshman. There really is a lot of cool and interesting stories to come out of the election. But My dear republican friends, you must excuse me now. I have some people to deal with. And when I return it will not be on good terms.
Democrats. You really shit the bed huh? I mean if this were 2012 I might be pressed to call you a bunch of idiots in a dying party like you did the republicans. But hey a lot of the ballot initiatives you support like minimum wage passed. It is almost like America doesn’t like you, but likes what you are supposed to stand for. Like you’re a bunch of feckless, spineless turds that deserved to be tossed out on your asses, but your ideas that you abandoned were exactly what people want in this country. Now excuse me my dear friends. I’ve been uncharacteristically harsh on you. Because you needed tough love. I love you like my republican friends. You just…well you don’t get this Super Villain natured game going on. So why don’t you all just quit and do something else while I bring in some people who know how to handle things?
Republicans. BRUH! What can I say but clearly you have proven the nature of human depravity? I mean the ads. Damn. I can’t really say anything bad about them. People seem to hate your idea though. So be careful please. I wouldn’t want to see some great cataclysm befall you. After all I may not be one of you. But letting either side have a monopoly is bad for my agenda. That said, Where are the real conservatives? You’ve been running with the religi-nuts a lot lately. And that is bad for me. I hate extremity. I can’t work with you for that particular reason.
Which is why I brought both of you groups hear today. I see now that my magnanimous nature has allowed you two parties to run amuck lately. I turned my face away when you both took 24 hours over for biased news, a concept that was barely comprehensible when I was learning to drive. I even let this race to more and more ads tell more and more selected truths pass. But no more. You have drawn from the well of my mercy too long. Made this grand experiment called America turn too far from its’ designs. In college I swore you off. I said I would never return. But you were warned. You were warned if the people cried out against you and my ears heard it there would be hell to pay. Well that check has been cashed.
The Second Thing
While I have a general issue with folks like Artie Lange, I’m going to save that discussion for another time. A Super Villain like myself can’t get into every Tom, Dick, and Dumbass racist no matter how normally funny they are. The second thing for this note is for the non-voters. And I’m going to list them separately so I can make sure your dumbass knows why you made the list.
I don’t vote because I am protesting the government – In the 1960’s I would buy this as a valid form of protest. After all we hadn’t come up with a way to make a vacuum cleaner that didn’t use as much power as prius does today yet. But in 2014, saying you are protesting the government by not voting really means you’re a lazy fuck and have no concept of how politics and government work so you’re also a dumb fuck to boot. Not voting and expecting the government to change is like not eating and expecting your stomach to magically be full.
I don’t vote because this system is corrupt – And you make it worse by artificially lowering the threshold necessary to achieve victory. Meaning more corruption can go on.
I don’t vote because the system is racist – And not voting fixes that how exactly? I mean if you are so anti the US government why the fuck are you still in America? I mean if it is important to you move. And don’t give me the cost of it. If you want out there are tons of ways off this part of the planet.
I won’t vote until people work on (insert cause here) – You want something, but will not work for it. Shut the fuck up. I now don’t give a shit about your charities. The animals you want to save. The testing you want stopped. The corporations you think are evil. Or any other stupid social injustice you wish to correct. because you don’t do the easiest thing to fix them.
I could keep going, but you get the point. You don’t have an excuse for not voting unless you literally could not go because your job wouldn’t let you out, or you’ve recently moved to a new place. There are non violent felons who can’t vote wishing they could trade places with you. Perhaps I should be advocating for them to take your place and get the rights and privileges you are neglecting.
As of Tomorrow November 11th 2014 We will be bringing all of the Podcasts to Youtube, and soon to itunes. But that isn’t the only announcement.
Weekends Don’t Do it Justice is back with Kudo and Reason, but that isn’t the only announcement either.
We have the Return of Ruminated thoughts and The Revanchist, but that isn’t it either.
At the end of 2014, We will be launching the most ambitious project I have personally ever involved myself in. One that will effect far more than this blog. If you’ve read recent posts deeply you might have an inkling of what it is. But I promise you. What is coming is not something done lightly. And we are taking it very seriously. So good luck to our friends. Welcome to nightmare to our enemies. I could tell you more, but it is so much bigger than Imperial Dreams Productions or 314 publishing. And I mean it when I say WORDS DON’T DO IT JUSTICE!