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RSI: To Just Function is a Problem

Though Self Improvement is intrinsic to the journey, I have a problem with how we’re expected to just function. I’m sitting in my dining room, my music playing and my roommate testing his Magic deck. With my fingers on the keyboard, I’m typing words while my entire life of decisions swirl around in my head. I’ve already started, deleted, and restarted thrice. I’ve settled on this topic because I believe that this statement is a universally relatable fact.

See, I’ve been calculating things like hours and dollars a lot lately; asking the ever important question: “What is the best use of my time?”  and in doing so, I’ve realized that I spend too many hours commuting and recovering from my commute.

Avoid minimum wage activities.

Here’s My#50percent: if you aren’t constantly asking yourself what the best use of your time is, you aren’t doing this life thing right. The best use of your time doesn’t have to always be work. Now, you might have a hard time believing that I just put those words in writing, so I’ll explain. Right now, the best use of my time is this conversation with you. In a few minutes or so, the best use of my time will be the deep coma I’ll have earned after working my regular job and coming home to pour the benefits of my musings onto this page. Tomorrow, the best use of my time will be seeking the long-term solution to my MWA–minimum wage activity–problem. Get it?

I have a problem with how we’re expected to just function because we aren’t being taught these concepts. Then, even when we are, the design of the system pushes us into the activities we’re supposed to be avoiding. I have a problem with how we’re expected to just function because there should be more to life than just function. Unfortunately, life is a series of MWA’s when you aren’t born into financial wealth or provided the education AND the opportunity to capitalize on what you’ve learned. We shouldn’t be made to feel guilty when we want to spend irreplaceable moments doing enjoyable things. We also shouldn’t be made to feel guilty when we have to sacrifice that many more hours of life that we’ll never get back working jobs that we’d rather simply Not because just functioning is expensive.

Those Minimum Wage Activities that we’re supposed to be avoiding are often the elements of life that keep us sane. Some clean to work through thoughts, unpleasantness, and turmoil. Some drive just to feel like they’re going somewhere. Sometimes, an MWA is the only thing protecting the general public from yet another mass shooting… but the expectation is that we function without regard for the inequity of the design. I have a problem with that.

Do More. Require Better.

Absence and return: A look inside.

I’ve been missing in action for some time now, and for that I must apologize. You see some very difficult times have come upon me, but fear not, all is well and though things will never be the same as before, I think we are all adjusting as best we can. That being said, there were times when I wanted to just explode, to scream into the nights sky, to weep uncontrollably, pound my fist against the wall, break something, hit someone, anything to break free of this frustration, this hurt, this anger. Over the past month if I’ve not been myself then I’m sorry, if I’ve been weird to you more than usual I must apologize, please forgive me, I was just trying to express myself or distract myself.

I tried to find the words to convey all I felt on this inwards journey following the split, but none of it seems to give the situation depth or insight, I found myself deleting every word with one elongated keystroke until the ringing of errors filled the room. That changes now. What follows isn’t what I’m usually good for, but I want to share it with you, all of you out there. I’m rubbish with poems, but there is some truth in what follows. Just know that I’m ok, and it’s not really about me, but a collective of people I’ve come across since my last journey.

 

Confidant

Everyone has a best friend,

One they can tell secrets to,

A confidant who only talks to you.

 

To some it is a brother,

Others find them in groups,

Yet this one is in every store

Waiting, just there, for you.

 

She has many names,

More titles than you can count,

One for every country,

But we all know who you’re talking about.

 

Her love keeps you warm,

Kisses burning with passion,

She doesn’t always look so pretty,

Then she dawns the latest fashion.

 

Some men drink in her love,

And show no sign of cupids bow,

Other will serenade her to the world,

While the rest watch on in disgust,

Finding somewhere else to go.

 

She’ll listen to every word,

Though she offers no retort,

There is nothing over the line,

But it all goes in the report.

 

Few approve of her love,

None of them understands,

You feel smarter when you’re with her,

She brings out the better man.

 

Her embrace drives away the stress,

Takes you up to cloud nine,

Makes your loving the best,

Wish she was with you all the time.

 

But beware she is poison,

This love comes at a cost,

Take too much and you’ll be sorry,

You’ll find everything is lost.

 

She is no thief, Nor a worker,

You buy her everything she likes,

Sometimes she’s cheap and for a bargain

But most times, it’s full price.

 

She’ll never leave you,

Her words will never hurt,

Sweet words to caress,

All the way into the dirt.