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Weddings, Reunions, Dental vists, and SHAKE UPS!

So you may have noticed someone has been missing a lot lately. You may have even noticed when he goes missing he doesn’t always explain why. Well…yeah no real explanation, sorry for that.

 

In other news I have been gone meeting old friends, getting massive dental work, and being best man in a wedding. Shout out to Superfans Chris and Ania Moncrief(aka Superman and Lois Lane) who celebrated their love in the classiest of weddings this past weekend.

 

You crashed both the wrong and the right wedding.

You crashed both the wrong and the right wedding.

But that Shakeup word is here again for good reason. 

 

Things are about to get interesting. Not only has WDDIJ been dealing with the …well Hilarious nature of advertising negotiations, but as you may have noticed we’ve lost a few authors. These things are not points to worry over. Trust me. In fact, the very way you view WDDIJ is about to change for the better.

 

In a short explanation, we’re doing an overhaul.

Why?

Because at 5500 views, we are little less than halfway to the year two viewership goal, and its only been 3 months.

In short, I’ve been short sighted.

 

To remedy that, I had to get to work.

And believe you me, the work is paying off.

Launching this fall is our interview series “Imperial Dreams”

Launching sooner rather than later this summer is a new format to the website

And Look for some shake ups in the staff as well.

Nothing drastic folks, but we want you to have a great experience.

And we want you to come to us for more of your daily content.

SO we need to be a place you want to come to.

And since I’ve been slacking on that. It is time to pick up the pace.

Of course I could tell you so much more, but as you know…

WORDS DON’T DO IT JUSTICE!

– THE Ruthless Wonder

Notes From Your Favorite Super Villain: You are not a unique snowflake…and neither is your kid.

You...ARE NOT SPECIAL!

You…ARE NOT SPECIAL!

I normally don’t break from my planned post. Today’s post was going to be a lead in to next week’s WDDIJ podcast and some reaction to the feedback from my first Wrath of Ruthless podcast. Instead I’m going to address something that I predict now will end with Your Favorite Super Villain receiving hate emails from parents starting with “You don’t know anything because you don’t have kids.” To those people who are sending them, you suck at parenting, because I real parent would understand everything I’m about to say. So let’s get into it.

Your kid is a bully because you suck at parenting.

This all started because in my office we were talking about bullying, cyber bullying and general bully culture. And that’s when I went on a bit of a tirade about the creation of a bully. The reality is kids do not become bullies apropos of nothing. And the modern bully first culture is a development of the same problems exacerbated by technological advancement. Children have no responsibility. And in modern civilization(We’ll talk society vs. Civilization another day), we have decided that permissiveness is better than the mere possibility of stifling potential. The pendulum has swung far in the opposite direction of previous generations. Kids used to rebel because their parents would not allow certain activities. Now they don’t rebel they demand. More tech, better clothes, specialized diets, and the like used to be just general complaints of any kid, now they are the teenaged(and much younger) rallying cry.

But permissiveness has become telling kids over and over how special they are. The belief that if you just tell your kid they are awesome enough times that their self esteem and personal drive will lead them to dizzying heights of achievements among their peer group and the world at large. But this is so wrong it is almost criminal. You are not teaching them to socialize, you are teaching them that they are above reproach, and because children have no concept of social cues or responsibility they bring this mentality along when with other children. But lets go a bit deeper, because this isn’t the only piece.

When you participate in the glorification and then destruction of everything from celebrities to political figures to athletes you teach your children who have no other frame of reference that this is not to be done to each other that it is okay. Let’s use Tiger Woods cause he’s easy to understand. When you take vocal shots at Tiger and his actions you often aren’t explaining that your problem is his infidelity, not his performance prior to it. SO to a kid who hasn’t had the years of understanding the nuanced relationship between personal and professional lives, it seems like it is okay to take on someone who has achieved some separation between themselves and the rest of society. Essentially, that you can be justified in tearing down anyone. And that the higher their profile the more okay it is.

Well what do you think a kid is going to do when they see someone else has an achievement? What about when their peer group clearly sees the other kid has gotten separation between themselves and your kid and the rest? Exactly. You’ve just built a bully. And it doesn’t matter whether the kid is a physical take your lunch money bully, or an internet troll, or one of those annoying 12 year olds who plays online and doesn’t understand how offensive screaming they are going to rape your mom, calling you a faggot, or calling you a nigger really is.

But the inverse is also true. Because a well adjusted kid can both avoid bullying, and avoid being a bully themselves. But that requires you to stop believing you are a special unique snowflake as well. That requires you to know more than just the basics about your child’s school and general socialization environment. That requires you stop being entitled, and annoying, and generally unaware that you are building the kind of monster even we of the Super Villain community dislike. You who do nothing when your 4 year old is being an annoying brat in line…well EVERYWHERE, when they are kicking the seat in front of them on the plane. When they won’t shut up because you brought them to a rated R movie at 9pm on a Friday(I choose to believe God has a special punishment for every single one of you people). And any excuse you have will be met with…then don’t bring your kid there, or do that at another time, or you made the choice so do your DAMN JOB. Yes I just blamed the last 2 decades of internet trolls and bullies on you parents. And do you know why? Because if an adult is being an asshole and gets into a fight over it, it is their fault. BUT, if they’ve always been offending folks for the sake of offense, and now use the internet’s anonymity for it? Well that’s a nurture problem. And that is your fault. Tyler Durden was right, you are not a unique snowflake. You’re an idiot and should never have been allowed to breed in the first place. Since you have, fix your problem, or stop burdening the rest of us.

– THE Ruthless Wonder aka “Lex Luthor”

Notes From Your Favorite Super Villain: No Free Passes

So Sunday I was relaxing and talking to my friends online, and on my cell, and of course in one of my main Facebook groups(Shout out to Geek Illuminati!) and someone had dropped this interesting blog post. Now for those who don’t feel like reading all of that I don’t blame you. Dude’s formatting is hell on toast. But that aside I read the whole thing. Why? Because I was certain there would be something redeeming if I just kept going. First things first, He can most certainly come on here and defend his story, I don’t contend that parts of it didn’t happen. But I do contend with the notion that it was this perfect. I’m not one to spare an idiot offline, and most certainly not online. But even I don’t go on what would be a rather extensive conversation in public situations like the one he describes.

What did he describe? Well to give you the quick breakdown, black guy with white wife comes into the barbershop, calls him the wrong name, and questions why he keeps dating black women while pointing out the very stereotypical issues with them. The two go on to a witty repartee which includes defenses of “because I was raised by a black woman aka My Mom’s black and by insulting black women you insult her. Put a pen in that one I’ll be getting to it. And after some interesting back and forth he finally defeats the blonde bomber to the applause and adoration of everyone else in the room. Followed by the quickest back pedal equivocating on race and relationships I’ve seen since a girl in college said she wasn’t racist because she would fuck black guys, but won’t date them(Don’t worry I looked at her like “The FUCK?” too).

You are reading this note because you know what’s coming. This guy is so wrongheaded he’s dangerous. People read his stuff. Heck I’ve been linked this blog post no less than 40 times since Sunday, and that includes after I announced I was going to take a shot at it today. SO to be fair lets give credit where its do and quickly deal with what I agree with. He’s right, if the race of a person is the main reason why you are dating them, or aren’t dating them, then you’re as bad as his barbershop acquaintance couple turned Straw man argument post. And as someone who’s heard friends names be massacred all the time, I sympathize. After all, if you’re unable to say my real name correctly you may have actual issues.

But credit aside, let’s deal with the number 1 issue. I hate to say I woke up one day and realized everyone saying “you should only be with black women” were full of shit. But I basically did. “If the world is full of so many people, why should I limit myself.” hit me one day, and down the rabbit hole I went. This guy though. Apparently our would be hero blogger believes in the sanctity of the black women(I can hear the hate emails now). I don’t, I should quickly point out why. No one is perfection or in fact perfect. My Mother taught me some time ago that I was going to have to work hard to get respect. And that people should work hard to earn my respect as well. Great lesson honestly. And I love her for it. It put the rest of the world in true perspective.

I don’t respect the woman who gave birth to me because she made shitty choices and was ashamed of me. I give ultimate respect to the woman who adopted me, who raised me, who taught me, and who helped make me who I am today. She is my real Mother as far as I’m concerned. Just as her husband, the man who adopted me, and made sure I knew how to be a man every day of his life until his life was gone is my real Father. But the two of them taught me that just because they love and they wanted the best for me everyone wasn’t the same. And the test of my humanity was figuring that out. What does this boil down to? That just because you share my melanin count, racial or ethnic classification, and anything else you think makes us similar doesn’t mean you deserve or have earned my loyalty or allegiance.

The belief that one’s past should not dictate one’s future seems to roll for everyone right up until this particular phrase gets uttered like it’s the original cardinal sin. My mother was a black teenage girl who left no information about my past including health information and wouldn’t even get involved in the adoption process like a true coward. Should I hate all black women including the one who adopted me? No. Should I give all black women a pass because my Mother, the one who adopted me, cared for me as if she gave birth to me, and has made sure I knew I was loved is a black woman? NO. The duality of my existence is proof such altruistic statements are complete folly. My fathers biological and adoptive are both black men. Should I not doggedly follow the positions of black men  on all subjects too? Dating or otherwise, this is manipulative cop-out BULL SHIT!

Now this article gets into stereotypes to be sure, but let’s break him down a bit. Why does the very suggestion of interracial relationships seem to be the basis of such vicious conversations when black and white people are involved? The oddity of this one being so much about protecting the sanctity of his mother, the perception of all black women who he just described as essentially fishing for male attention, suddenly are as blameless as Mary the mother of Jesus. Look back at it. He doesn’t call the women outside attention whores directly, but you thought it. Why? Because using your vocabulary to hide calling someone an attention starved contradiction is the way intellectuals and unfortunately pseudo-intellectuals operate. And he’s not a pseudo, but when I tell you the threads I’m in where this piece was discussed are overpopulated with them…anyway.

Someone started in with me on this one with a quote about how his Momma’s black and so he doesn’t want to look at them negatively. I responded with  “My Mother is a black woman, but I shouldn’t paint them all with the same positive brush. And because I’m smart enough to realize correlation is not causation, and similarity in one aspect does not translate to all aspects.” And that’s the real point here. You don’t get a free pass from THE Ruthless Wonder for being “Black like me.” I love black women. I love dating black women. But I also know for all the ones I like there are a lot I don’t like. Same with white women. Same with Asian women. Same with every ethnic classification really. I love women. I love dating women. But that doesn’t make me blind to reality. And our guy doesn’t fail to see it here. He stealthily slips in so many caveats at the end that you’re likely to miss as you applaud the confrontation, that really his piece doesn’t say anything. It’s an ego boost. “I defended black women to a white woman who I’ve embellished up to Disney Evil levels(Did you just make her look like the girl from Frozen? lol Sorry for that).” Basically, he made click bait and everyone fell for it.

And that’s why he is today’s subject. Though his piece about men cheating I just got linked from Ms. Auset Noir herself would be worth a Note anyway. So before I get off topic let me truly drop a final super villain thought. You determine who you respect. Isn’t it more proper to respect those who earn it by their actions, not by some preconceived notion of similarity based on skin tone? It’s all good to link up to defeat problems that face all black people. It’s not okay to gloss over flaws because someone looks like your complexion. Just because they look like you, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be held to the same scrutiny as you would someone who doesn’t. Because if we give every black person a pass for being black, we will never get anywhere.

Scrutiny includes the analysis of the negative. If dialogue on the issues is sought by all, then shouldn’t the discussion start with how do we deal with the facts that paint folks in a particular community(black, American, geek, gamer, laywer, conservative, liberal, hero, human, villain, etc) in a negative light? You can’t correct what you deny. And really, the majority of black men date black women. It isn’t even a close ratio. So don’t come with that loyalty mess. Just because most black men don’t shout down a bruh for marrying a non black woman doesn’t mean every black guy is like, “wait til I find me a good white girl, I’m done with these black chicks.” *And then we all laugh and give dap around the barber shop.* That shit’s ridiculous. So before I start pointing out the hypocrites and tossing shade at you Scandal watchers I’m out. Because Obviously there is more I could say but…Words Don’t Do It Justice.

-THE Ruthless Wonder aka Lex Luthor aka Dio Brando aka YOUR Favorite Super Villain

Send you emails to yourruthlesswonder@gmail.com but I won’t respond till tomorrow, Its time for my birthday celebration.

Watch Your TONE!

I’m back, and the first thing I’m talking about is tone? Has Ruthless gone soft? Not on your life. I’m being very deliberate here. Let’s get to it.

During the break I unleashed a bit of back and forth in the groups I frequent online by dropping some admittedly loaded discussion on them. How did I do this? Well I didn’t go personally provoking people so calm down. I linked up two videos, one per group, where the speaker presented a highly controversial opinion. Did I necessarily agree with the two speakers? Come on people that’s  a softball, I’m rather non-committal about most people’s opinions other than my own. So each speaker was chosen for one reason. They didn’t yell. Why no yelling? Because as we often hear, it isn’t about what you say, but how you say it. But here’s the beautiful notion of this experiment. Them yelling didn’t stop that criticism.

Without divulging the group names we’ll just say that each one was used with their full awareness I was using the discussion for a piece here and were warned that the point of the discussion, was both their reactions and the discussion about them. One of the goals was to challenge some long-standing opinions and beliefs that existed. And see how such a challenge, despite coming with a warning would be perceived. Even my own reactions were a calculated set of responses to keep from turning the discussion into my posting the material and how wrong or right I was. And outside two noted examples where I had to defend myself(1 oddly enough was to someone who’s known me for the last 6 years), the process was flawless. So let’s get back to that general tenor of the discussion bomb I dropped.

Yes despite both speakers(1 male, 1 female), speaking in very calm and rational voices, they were perceived as having turned off people due to their “tone.” A common response to the female speaker being “I’d respect her if she hadn’t said it like that.” But remember, neither speaker was yelling, very few curse words appear, and most of the time anything I would consider inflammatory was combined with study results as evidence. But here’s what I wanted to wait until now to tell you. Both videos lacked the person’s face. And that choice I made to test not only the initial perceptions, but to see if anyone would jump at the chance to take a personal shot at them for not showing their face. And of course they did. Because if this is the test of how welcoming of change American society is, you lot have so many failures among you that we are all in trouble.

So let’s talk about the subject matter. The first was a topic in a group that often talks about relationships. And here I dropped a video from a white woman, who explained why she makes it a point to say she doesn’t date non-white men in her dating profile, despite actually being okay with it. For about 11 minutes, she explains everything from the perception of women who date interracially, to the filtering effect of saying it, to some points which dealt with the kind of black men she and women like her want to avoid. At no point does she yell or otherwise get angry-voiced in the video, but like a good speaker she uses voice inflection at times to differentiate her points. So of course the first thing she got called was a racist slut. And then the group started in on how mean she was, and then when asked most said it wasn’t what she was saying but how she said it. And of course when some group members appeared later on and started defending her points, discussion slowed down as people clearly were either tired of the anger that had ben stirred up, or could not retort in the face of more logic. It should be noted that I don’t really agree with most of what she was doing or her reasoning for it. But I will admit that I see some of the logic. Filter out the people you don’t want to talk to, so you can more easily connect with the ones you do. She’s sneaky, and I of course got called more than a few names for posting it(Which I responded to in trademark fashion), but what I did and didn’t agree with wasn’t a tone issue.

That being said, the second video was a much more tense discussion. Why? Well it was another skirmish in the ongoing tensions between black men and women. Never let it be said I’m uncontroversial. So how was this video different? Well the discussion immediately started with a comment that the unseen speaker may not be black. Seeing that, I knew I was in for a ride I didn’t get the first time. What do I mean by that? Well during the first discussion, most of the people resorted to calling the woman all manner of sexually dismissive names. Even the women who commented aimed at me and her on a level that was F**ked to be sure, but not quite all out. The second video turned into a rage fest so fast I had to ask if people were actually watching the video before commenting. And guess what. They weren’t. Of the people with the most negative comments of both videos, most hadn’t gotten beyond 3 to 5 minutes of the videos. That’s about half of the first video, but only a third at best of the second, which was  15 minutes long.

So what conclusions did we find? Well 1, I’m going to be so much more emotionless and cold in discussion in both groups. But that’s more of an annoyance at my personal treatment when I warn people ahead of time. But more importantly I learned exactly how bullshit that watch your tone statement is. Think about this a bit deeper. To mask their disagreement with the speakers, and their unwillingness to accept the facts presented, they said the person’s tone was off-putting. But their tone wasn’t the real problem. We tell people more flies with honey than vinegar. But clearly that isn’t true. Each speaker took a calm, rational, reasonable, and logical approach. But what was the common complaint? They shouldn’t have said it like that. Now if you’re reading this blog, you know I’m not exactly a fan of subduing any part of my points, much less my tone. But in the face of this I was even more sure of myself. Why? Because contrary information should inform the opinion and update the perceptions. And just because I don’t like what the facts show doesn’t mean I get to ignore them.

And that’s where this post on tone wraps up. If a person is giving you facts, and you have only emotional responses, you lost already. Facts in fact DO trump your feelings. And both of these speakers gave nothing but facts. Do they apply to every single person? Of course not, the white woman didn’t really account for professional black men while deriding most other races(including the racist white guys), and the black man didn’t really get into other subsets of black women in his arguments. But both accounted for this more than once by saying this wasn’t about all of the groups they spoke on. Apparently that wasn’t enough. You will get no such warning from me though. You and I know by now I’m a self styled Super Villain. I embrace the viciousness of my Ruthlessness. And that’s why you read this blog. So to put it bluntly, take your tone comments and shove them right back up where you got them from. I’m back from the bar prep cave. I have a long hit list of people on my shit list, and first up next week are…ah ah ah no spoilers. Get your eyes back on the blog next week for Wrath of Ruthless Part 3. I’d tell you more but…Words Don’t Do It Justice.

– THE Ruthless Wonder

Let me talk to you for a moment…

The following is just from me to you. No one asked me to write this. The post isn’t sponsored by anyone or any company.

One of the early issues I had as a child was pretty common. As an only child I wasn’t really good with meeting new people because I didn’t know how to socialize. So I was incredibly shy. And as you can imagine, after knowing someone for a fairly long amount of time that would change and I would open up. But it made for some hilarious, and some annoying for most people situations. It also led to a point in life where I was perceived as I talked about in the Viva La Bad Girls post, as cold and detached. Well that of course has its downsides. Odd as it is, to this day that is why some people think I’m nice. I’m not, and my friends know that, but if you haven’t gotten past a couple of trust checkpoints and/or I’m not your business or political opposition(formerly included mock trial opponents) I tend to be generally non-offensive, which in our world today is considered nice.

Anyway, this went on for years even into adolescence with a lot of effects. The effect I didn’t notice was that I perceived people as not wanting to be close to me. That feeling got worse after my father’s death, and never really recovered for quite a long time. What some people can already recognize is what I will tell the rest of you. I was headed for depression and had no idea. As I got older it really just got worse and worse. I didn’t deal with a lot. I let a lot overwhelm me. And when it got too much, well you can already imagine what I did instead of asking someone for help. When I didn’t end up a very nicely written obituary I set to getting my life and self back together. Rebuilding what I was by fixing who I was. And 10 years later things have worked out mostly(damn bar exam). Now I know this is going to sound like an its gets better ad, or something meant to humanize me, or a just don’t do it type of blog post. Frankly though I don’t mind you taking that position on it. I was a very depressed person who just happened to luck out and not end up dead each time. I kind of expect you to think I’m talking about it now for some particular effect.

Really though this is being written because I remember that I have to keep myself strong of mind when the worst things happen. And since this stretch from Halloween to Valentine’s Day comprises about 3 months with 5 holidays I know statistically, for someone who reads WDDIJ this is mentally taxing and they are as depressed or worse than I was. And the hard part is, even me typing this isn’t going to pull you out of it. Because all those voices of reason and supposed love that were around me didn’t affect me enough to pull out of it. Because you can’t do it alone. Everyone’s answer is different. Everyone’s path is different. So what brought you to this point is different from what it did for me, and I understand that. I’m not judging that. Instead, I’m saying for once ask for a hand with what you’re going through. I’m not telling you to ask for that from friends, or family necessarily either.

One of the worst things about going through what was a 6 year major battle with depression was that I had to deal with family and friends. I don’t mean that to be generally perplexing. When you tell a friend or a family member “I’m depressed, and I’ve tried, and continue to think about killing myself.” they usually react by overwhelming you with attention and time or having every psychologist and psychiatrist they know or can get a number for call or visit you. Given how important church was in my family, my particular story includes meetings with the Pastor, the then Co-Pastor,  various prayer sessions, and a lot of other stuff that you already know added to my annoyance. Some of you may have guessed why that annoyed me. Because I knew it wasn’t genuine or long term. And also because that wasn’t why I told them. Since my recovery began I’ve had 4 friends of mine either be suicidally depressed, or attempt suicide. And a couple who have talked to me about it before hand. Each time I remembered where I was, and tried to give them the same respect I wanted, but didn’t receive.

Because recovery is a lifelong thing in most cases, I can’t say I don’t get the annoying flash thought of, “You really don’t have to put up with this,” or “why am I still here?” or the worst one for me, “And this is why I’m right. No one you think cares about you really does.” That voice is ever present in the bad moments, when the chips are down, I’m off my game, and what I want to accomplish looks like its impossible. And its in those moments I, like you should think about doing, talk to someone. Not about the situation, sometimes not even about me, but I reach out to someone I haven’t talked to in a while, or at least someone who isn’t aware of the thing I’m trying to do, and just talk like a human being for a bit. And then its a bit easier. I’m an odd case, and you probably feel like you are. Or that no one is going to get it. Fine they won’t, so don’t ask them to. Just let yourself be human for a bit. Let yourself come back from what is wearing on you to just exist for a few moments in time. Above all remember you have things you still want to do. “Don’t settle for a nicely written bit in a paper.” That ultimately is what has had the most staying power for me in my recovery. That I can look out and see I have things I want to do in life. Not really things I wanted to have, not necessarily places I wanted to go, but things I want to do and haven’t done. Because I think you’ll agree life is at least worth living to do the things you want to do in it. And because in the end, for all my antics and attitude, I want you to give yourself a chance to accomplish what you want.

See you next time friend. Cue my theme music. And remember the catch phrase, because Words Don’t Do YOU Justice.

– THE Ruthless Wonder

Notes From Your Favorite Super Villain: Wrath Of Ruthless (Part 2)

Today was supposed to have a different post appearing, but said guest blogger went MIA so I’m burning up the backlog with a blog post that didn’t get out before end of the hour. This is part 2 of a 3 parter that will hopefully pick up when I get back. Remember I love hate emails and love love emails, so send both to yourruthlesswonder@gmail.com I do read them, and they are great for after bar prep relaxation.

-RW

both versions cause I know someone will get salty about this later anyway.

Meet me at the Altar in your white dress.

We ain’t gettin no younger we might as well do it right? NOT A CHANCE! I liked a couple Jagged Edge tracks like everyone else did in the early aughts and late 90’s. But let’s have a frank, non emotional marriage discussion please. Well…most not emotional. Looking at this particular song(JE’s Let’s Get Married aka Meet me at the altar for the non-R&B folks other there), and something that was asked in a secret meeting earlier in the week, I wanted to take a shot at the noble institution of marriage. Cause who better to catch this Ruthless fade after ducks and dolts? See I’m saying this right now. Marriage for most of you is pointless. You don’t really want it. You don’t need it. An if you are one of my fellow Black Unicorns, bruh this can go bad for you way more often than it might go good. But because a true black unicorn knows this already, let’s start with logic and reason to back up such an insanely cogent exclamation.

Marriage as we currently use it, is absolutely unnecessary.

Now we just shed like 45% of the angry women readers who survived my insults in the first part so everyone can move in closer. Marriage as modern civilization has used it since the fall of the roman empire equates to inheritance insurance. Based on the presumption that a couple will only have children from the two of them and that they need the most legitimate claim to the wealth of their parents, marriage assured families that their relative history, custom, practices, property, and status would remain intact through the passing of one or both parents(because some societies were and are matriarchal not patriarchal). The concept of romantic love and exclusive companionship during these times is mostly the product of revisionist romanticism of these periods. Contrary to what you get to learn in middle and high school, the dark ages through to basically America’s founding, were filled with even more sex and debauchery than you think. And certainly a lot more than got into your history books(thank God and the Muslims for library systems or I wouldn’t know otherwise). Among nobility, having a bastard was a political ploy as well as a military one.

They could become knights, spies, emissaries, and the like without the constraints of bearing the same name, which meant while they had a truly f’d relationship with dear old dad they had the mobility of nobility but the ability of the common man. Now? How many people do you know who honest to goodness have never cheated in a relationship? Never broken up? Exactly. Now how many of their kids have a private army ready to wage war to properly control their inherited lands? None? Yeah exactly. If you had a kid with someone before you meet the person you stay with it is kind of a so what now. Why? Because even the barbarians of Europe evolved into higher thinking creatures enough that no modern western society restricts inheritance or the right to marry to only single males. While you may love your 50k wedding, there isn’t a succession war coming among your children if you die. Trust me.

It isn’t practical either.

Now all the women reading probably feel some type of way, and their S.I.M.P. supporters as well. But put down your torches and quit burning my blogging jersey for a second. This section is dedicated to the guys, I’ll catch you ladies down the way a bit. Fellas this is not practical for one reason. You have a presumption based on your gender than the woman can use like a billy club of sexism to take everything you have. What am I talking about? Well I’m glad you asked. If she cheats, and gets pregnant, it is assumed you are the father, if she claims any kind of abuse, you are assumed to have done it, if she claims you have deviant sexual desires which she was offended by, it is assumed you are an do. You get married, you better be damn sure you both are actually in love, know each other’s pasts, are faithful to each other, and aren’t secretly about to slip into psychopathy, otherwise…THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. Prenuptial agreements can cover a lot, but you still run the risk of it getting invalidated because “She must not turn crazy and start suspecting I’m smanging her boss’ secretary” is not really grounds for divorce. But also because if you love her, if you really are committed to her, why all the parading it around? Because it is part of convincing you and her this is a good idea. But there are governmental and financial benefits to marriage so let’s get to our last section.

You don’t need marriage to get married benefits.

Now obviously I’m not talking about the specifically worded documents that we call laws, statutes, and the like which enumerate certain benefits for married people. Or am I? Look folks the fact is that you can name whoever the heck you want to benefit from your life insurance policy, you can set up your partner, companion, Houzabadilitywhompous, and whatever other stupid pet name(And yes they are all stupid, especially the ones I’ve ever heard from everyone, including my exes, and out of my own mouth) you give them as your heir, make medical directives that they handle your care, and a billion other entirely legal, non-wedding required things.

But do it anyway you crazy kids cause I don’t care

This really should be obvious based on the fact that I’ve already told you how little I care about what other people do. But made even more obvious by the businesses I own, hobbies I’ve told you about, and industry I want to practice in. You will get married and it won’t work out, and call me when you want to get rid of your oaf of a husband/harpy of a wife. And I’ll make money…well if I took family law cases I would(lol not if I can help it). The long and short is you are only screwing yourself over if you get hitched and don’t actually have someone you want to make it work even in the hypothetically bad nightmare scenarios that can, will, and have happened to couples. Most of you will marry the wrong person the first time, a few less the second, some will have the ending love affairs that Hollywood makes millions off of in movies. Either way you prove me right. Yes that is the point. I just trashed ye olde institution of marriage to say everyone should get to do it, most of modern society shouldn’t do, and I’m right. How is this any different from most of my articles? Well I’d explain that but…Words Don’t Do It Justice.

– Your Favorite Super Villain, THE Ruthless Wonder

Ruthless On Relationships: Viva La Bad Girls

Really? Another Ruthless On Relationships?

I know, I know, by the end of this I will have done 2 straight relationship posts and I said I wouldn’t go so heavy into them. 2 times is not a habit or routine practice people, calm it down. Besides I’m going to give a few people hope today…while shyte-ing on a segment of the population at the same time, but did you really expect otherwise from me? So let’s get right in to it. “I hate good girls.”

And I love bad girls like a fat kid loves cake…okay not really

Now there is a reason for this and I’m going to detail it, but for those of you who didn’t write me off based on that statement I want this to sink in. I am a professional, 31 year old, black, man living near the Kansas and Missouri Border in the very heart of the midwest in a major city and I hate good girls. Now don’t try to parse that statement, if you want to use good women it still applies. I’m not using girl as a denigration of the modern female, or as misogynist terminology to make the notion that women are less than me. It isn’t some reference to young girls in a pedophilic sense(As some know I have more than a thing for older women). I hate good girls/women.

Now that we’ve turned off the low intellect readers let’s get to the explanation. Because as you already knew, there is one. My dating history and my relationship history is a horror show at points. Pre-2006 revolution there is a stoic sarcastic deeply intellectual guy who let every woman who he was in a relationship with bash at his public persona in private. He looks insanely submissive by comparison. Pre-2000 high school it is so much worse I call it the darkest time. While I was and still am, very dominate in public, privately I was so unsure of myself that I clearly looked like prey for psychologically dangerous women, and they nearly ate young not-yet Ruthless Wonder alive.

But this is not really about the past versions of me. I’ve dated more good girls than bad girls until about 2007 and the far more the opposite since then. Why? Well for the same reason I hate good girls, perception and treatment. Since 06 I really have embraced the Ruthlessness I long tried to hold down. It wasn’t that I haven’t always been this way, it was that I was denying I was this way for everyone else’s benefit. And while often that made me seem cold and detached, it was better than to be thought that than a ruthless arrogant prick with a superiority complex…or so I thought. The last 2 good girls I have dated were great women. I would, if I were not this me writing this right now, attempt to date them again. The most recent more than the one before, but I think even she knows that. I find myself saying the same about them both though. The thing that is the core of my issues with good girls. You cannot accept me.

Here’s what I mean. Both of these women were for the time we dated cool with the majority of me. Public persona at 11 private at 5 or 6, hey let’s actually watch this cool movie on my set up(this deal only applies to movie one ladies, if there is a second…all bets are off). They were okay with some of my quirky nerdy habits. Neither one watched any anime with me, but they weren’t ridiculing me for watching it and I thank them. They could deal with knowing I’m a writer beyond my political and law interests so I may be in the middle of a poem or story and get all odd. But each one had some thing they just couldn’t roll with. Hell, one straight said that we couldn’t get more serious if I couldn’t turn down, well…THIS. Being RW(though this was before I had the name) was her issue. I wasn’t a horrible person according to her because she could see how I was when it was just me and her, but outside that was a problem.

My response(In my head cause I’m not stupid)? Meh. When things ended with each, and not too long after this point was the end basically both times. I left those situations each time thinking I had become a bad guy. That I was in serious need of change because I was a horrible person. Doubt was everywhere. But each time I found myself in what anyone would call a bad idea rebound type of relationship or 4. Since I’ve come home to KC and truly enjoyed single life for the last year and a half I’ve had time to really look back at things though, and noticed something. While the bad for me girls usually ended up in really short things, or never getting super serious, or cataclysmically bad ends(I’ll save those stories for another time), until that happened they worked. For them I was the good guy. They valued everything differently. And it isn’t like I went from fellow law students, professors, and doctors to strippers, waitresses, and instagram models. Just if you knew both women you’d call one the good girl, and one clearly the bad girl.

And so I have grown a hate for the “good girl” not the women themselves, but the attitude and style of the good girl. Because while I am Ruthless as I wanna be, I’m a Gent. I’m a black overweight James Bond…wait that’s too far. I’m just…an acquired taste, yeah I like that better. And so the bad idea relationships seem to be perfect for the time they happen. the bad girl calling me her good guy is probably the best relief from the stress of the day. But it is because they aren’t looking for everything wrong with me(which I admit there is a lot), and instead looking for what’s right. I’m not saying that every guy needs to head out and find some bad idea starting point in a bar, club, facebook group, or vacation and start his search for a girlfriend there. I’m saying for me, well as much as I want to date, get serious with, and maybe one day allow myself to be complete(Sorry Tyler Durden) with a good girl who doesn’t have the issues that basically each bad girl did, the good girls are just not an option. I’m too bad for them, but not too good for their counterparts. So I’ll just keep pulling out chairs, opening doors, and respectfully treating bad girls right. Of course maybe one will go good and I can stop looking, but maybe the opposite will happen as well. For now Wale said it best, “The bad girls ain’t no good, and the good girls ain’t no fun.”

– THE Ruthless Wonder