Archives for : Messi

Green Grass and Bright Lights – Lucrémo Episode 4: You can’t predict the future.

Jan. 9, 2014

So I got a call today from my agent. Apparently you wonderful people have been blowing his phone up and calling Exeter when we aren’t playing to make sure they don’t sell me. I love it. Really I do. And this season is going to keep being magical I promise. But trust in the owners, trust in the managers, Trust in the Fraternal Order or Fly Fellas to keep pushing harder and harder to get you the big wins. And don’t worry about the potential moves now or in the summer.

I wanted to make a fan’s wish come true for a second. Her mom sent me an email and said it would mean the world to her if I said her name in my video because January 10th is her birthday. Well I decided to put this out a day early just to make sure she can see it. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGGIE! What you and your mom don’t know though is I talked to the team, and they agreed to give you tickets to our next FA Cup match with Chelsea on February 1st. And so you can bring friends you’ll have 10 tickets!

One more surprise though.”

“Happy Birthday to you…”

“Happy Birthday tooooo yoooouuuuu…”

“Happy Birthday Dear Maggggiiieeee…”


We’ve got Reading coming up on the 15th Exeter, so we hope to see you there loud and proud. Peace Love and Lucrémo! 


Jan. 16, 2014

Alright gents, that first leg against Reading was good, and the last match against Oxford for the J Paint Trophy was stellar as well. But they are going to be paying a lot of attention this time. You have to expect to get the best punch. Everyone is watching, and Reading are hoping that they can get to you by reminding you that we have the end of the transfer market right before a match with Mourinho and “Cheatsea” Those are over a week away. TODAY guys. Today, we have a team we’ve beaten once in the first leg, I want you to go out and play smart. Look for the outside to in passing lines, play them rough and rugged. We shocked their subs and reserves. Now we’re getting the starting 11. And you can beat them. You’ve proven all year that you aren’t just some 5 a side club with some extra friends in on the weekends. Let’s do it again!

“What about Coles and Oakley sir?

They are going to be available in emergencies only. Same for you, I don’t want you pushing too hard and getting injured. If we have a late lead of more than 2 I’m pulling you for Parkin. And don’t give me any of that shit about not wanting him to spell you. It’s for your own good. You’re still growing.

Yes sir.

Now lads, Let’s GO!


3pm Friday January 31st, 2014

“Man we should get a bigger place.”

“I know what you mean, this is a great flat, but we should like get a house or something. You know really go big. I’ve saved up some money.”

“Yeah I think we all have. The bonuses these last 3 games have been huge. 5 goals against Watford between us, 3 the first time against Reading, all yours of course Julian, and then what 4 on Oxford and 5 more on Reading?”

“Yeah. We can get just about anything with that.”

“Let’s go look tomorrow though.”

“Yeah if we find something too big maybe we’ll talk any last-minute additions into joining us.”

“Oh yeah the window shuts tonight right? Can’t imagine they do something now since they haven’t all month.

You never know man, I mean 2 weeks ago who would have thought that Man U deal for Juan Mata would happen?


“Anyway let’s focus on Chelsea tomorrow.”

Let’s focus on a good meal. I’ll do the pasta.

I’ve got the veggies

So I’m on protein duty I take it?


Okay let’s do it.


Man that was great. 

 I know right?

We need more of that cheese though Matt.

I’ll call my uncle and have him get some when he comes up from Spain tomorrow.

He coming for the big match?



Terrence man what’s wrong? You look shocked from that phone call.

They just sold Shinji to Manchester City for 50 million dollars.


That’s what Reid and the other guys are saying. 

This is going to suck for tomorrow.

Well let’s get everything cleaned up and chill out. Everybody keep their phones on.


So who all do we know for sure now?

Miguel Angel Cancela García

Cedric Migiedi Mpembele 

Kim Yong Hwan

and Jack Butland

So those guys in and just Shinji out?

Yeah I guess it was a money thing.

I’m worried.

Why? They sold Shinji probably to be able to pay for the 3 of us going forward.

Or because he was demanding out behind the scenes.


So, if he was demanding out, and they’ve brought in 3 guys. Who’s to say they aren’t planning to sell one of us?

That’s crazy. The whole town watches your youtube. There is no point in doing that.

He’s right though. If this was a push and not a plan by the team any of us could be out. Everyone’s seen all 3 of us improve.

So we need a backup plan.


Okay what are the three teams we can all agree we are okay with joining and playing on together later if we get sold separately?


You realize Exeter bought me from there right?

Yeah I thought you might like to go back.

…or nah.

Okay where’s your pick?

hmmm somewhere that’s going to be fun, warm and has a name people could respect. How about Inter?

Okay, I like that. Inter is on the list.

Then its your turn bro.

Manchester United, not even a second thought.


Because they’ve been shit this year if we go there we would have a good shot at beating who they have in our spots, and we could be the boys who bring a Champs League title back to the Reds. 

Good point. Manchester United is on the list.

So Matt who’s it going to be? I mean we know it isn’t going to be B.

Barcelona. We should all go take over at Barcelona.

Are you still pissed that they signed Neymar and didn’t give you a deal?

Not really. Well about the Neymar part. The American Assassin comes home sounds good to me. And making them overpay to do it would be nice revenge for the shit treatment. Neymar cost 77 million dollars. I’m going to cost 100.

So it is settled what the list is. 

What order?

Well Inter probably has the least money but is the most fun location.

The best way to do it is like the big three on the Miami Heat did. So whoever gets to one of the 3 first, the other two come there.

We need a time limit. This could take forever otherwise.

Okay. 3 years if we aren’t at one of the 3 clubs in 3 years then we all go to the club we decide is first on the list.


So what’s first?

Barca. Best weather, close to the fun of Inter, and has money and prestige like Man U.

You realize if we do this we can’t tell anyone.


Sounds like we have a plan.




That’s the text alert. oh shit the team.

Okay now your face looks shocked.

I’m out.

Where are you going at 9pm the night before a game.

Nowhere. Its where I am going in the morning.

The pitch?

They just sold me.

So say no.

No Terrence, don’t say that. If they sold him then they didn’t respect us as a team. They didn’t appreciate what we were doing. And they didn’t see the value in the 3 of us. Why stay in a place like that? Who’d they sell you to?

Werder Bremen, I’m going back to Germany, as the enemy of my old team.

How much is the wage offer?

15k a week.

Take it.

But what about you guys?

We have a plan remember?

Yeah but what if you are still here tomorrow?

Then we’ll go kick Cheatsea’s ass for you and hand in transfer requests.

You mean it?

Hell yeah man. This isn’t right.

Let’s help you pack.

And then you guys go to bed. I want a win tomorrow popping up on my phone while I fly there for the announcement.


7am Exeter Airport

There he goes.

Yeah man it still doesn’t feel real.

I hear you bro, I hear you.

So what’s the plan now?

We find a roommate, we still move, and take absolutely no prisioners the rest of the season. We make ourselves too hyped to stay.and from there we keep with the plan.

You really think the plan will work?

Unless we get career ending injuries yeah.

So who could we move in with?

Well Jamie Reid is probably going to take Julian’s spot, so why not him? same age as you, and his lease is up soon I think.

Might even be up now, He was crashing with Keohane and O’Flynn

That must have been a nightmare for him.

Yeah so after the match we’ll talk to him.

Feb 15, 2014

Hey folks, I hope you like the new diggs. New place, new roommate, and new news…? I guess? So the Fraternal order of Fly Fellas got a new member recently. We moved out of the flat we were in and now have a house with our buddy Jaime Reid who’s been moved up to starting 11. Say hey man. Wave or something. haha it is going to take a bit to get him into our antics.

Anyway, you probably heard during our thrashing of Chelsea that Julian was sent to Werder Bremen. We’re all happy for him. It sucks for us at the house, but otherwise we love that he is being seen for the awesome player he is. 4 million for Lil Green is nothing to sneeze at. Jamie doesn’t have a nickname yet but give us time. And of course Shinji is gone as well now. 

But did you see this guy? 6 goals on Petr Cech! 6! Did you get a blood transfusion from Pele and Messi or something? Seriously people this guy is amazing!

Super T is leaving out the 2 more he tacked on. A humbler spokesman cannot be found. And of course I now am fully aware of how good Gareth Bale actually is in person after we nearly lost that US friendly against Wales. We needed that last goal, I’m just glad Julian is with me on the national team so he can lob in a cross like that to set me up. This summer. We aren’t coming to try to be okay. They keep calling it the group of death. Not for Uncle Sam’s army. I’ve got a true bold prediction. The World Cup final this year is going to have red white and blue flags on both sides. Netherlands v. USA. So you’ll get to see The Dutch Destroyer Terrence Kongolo versus The American Assassin for the greatest prize in sports. And whoever loses will be forced to wear a jersey dress and tiara with the pics posted on instagram so I know you’ll be paying attention. Next up is the League Capital One Cup Final with Liverpool. Cheer LOUD and be Proud Exeter. Peace Love and LUCRÉMO!

Futbol: Soccer for the Uneducated

world cup trophySo, for those that have either been living under a rock for the past month (or those “bored” by the sport of soccer) I have a message:  GET OVER IT!!!!!  Soccer is here for the long haul people.  I am a huge fan of what many people around the world call “The Beautiful Game.”  That picture in my bio is me standing next to the MLS Cup that was recently won by my hometown team Sporting KC.  But today this post is to help inform you about the BIGGEST SINGLE SPORTING EVENT that happens on this planet once ever four years (and I swear to God I have inserted a virus in here that will make your computer blow up if you said “the Olympics” out loud).  That’s right, the event of which I speak is the FIFA World Cup.  It is the Super Bowl of soccer, the Olympics involving only ONE sport, and a world stage like nothing else the that can be produced on this planet.  They play for this trophy right here (to the left), and people (children and full grown adults alike) cry when their national team fails to bring it home.  The following article is to help fill you in on all that you missed during this amazing tournament, and to shed light on those of you that can’t understand why your friends were chanting “I believe that we will win” for the last month or so.

First a quick glance at the group stage with a few key happenings in each

Group A

This group consisted of the host nation, Brazil, as well as Mexico, Croatia, and Cameroon.  The big story here was really that there wasn’t a big story.  It would have been a catastrophe if Brazil (and their star player Neymar Jr.) had not made it out of their group, but they did.  Mexico made a very strong showing, and so did their crazy emotional manager.  Biggest happening was Mexico finding a way to somehow tie with Brazil (seriously, a tie with the host nation was MASSIVE for El Tri).  Brazil and Mexico advanced to the knockout rounds in 1st and 2nd place in their group respectively.

Group B

This group had both of the teams from 2010’s World Cup final in defending champion Spain and the runner-up Netherlands.  The group was supposed to be rounded out by Chile and Australia.  However, the big happening here was that on the second day of the tournament (and first game of this group) the Netherlands demolished Spain 5-1!  That is a big deal, and it clearly had a long lasting impact on Spain.  Chile fought and clawed its way to take second place in the group meaning the Netherlands took first, and the defending champs were out in the blink of an eye.  The fall of one of the pre-tournament favorites in Spain was a huge talking point.

Group C

This group had the nations of Columbia, Greece, Ivory Coast, and Japan.  It seemed fairly wide open, but a guy named James (pronounced Ha-mez) saw things differently.  Brilliant displays from this young star allowed Colombia to coast to first, while Greece managed to gut it out with their stingy defense for second.

Group D

THIS GROUP… WOW… JUST WOW!!!  We had three countries in Uruguay, England, and Italy that were considered powerhouse soccer nations; and then poor little Costa Rica rounding out the field.  Boy did this group not go according to the FIFA master plan.  Little ol’ Costa Rica (whom the US national team was capable of beating in qualifications) won 2 out of their 3 games (and only ended up tied in the other one) to WIN THE GROUP!!!!  Uruguay, behind the goal scoring prowess of Luis Suarez, squeaked out second place.  However, in the process of scoring goals apparently Suarez got a craving for some Italian food: Suarez bites Italy playerThis bite seen round the world cost Uruguay dearly as Suarez was banned for 9 international games, and four months of any soccer activity.  Without Suarez this team was entirely different, and did not pose close to the threat they had in the group stage.  Lost in all of this controversy was that this group knocked out two nations with big expectations during any World Cup in England and Italy.

Group E

This group contained France, Ecuador, Switzerland, and Honduras.  France looked very strong and clinched first easily, so it was up to the other squads to fight it out for second place.  In the end, the Swiss were able to stop being neutral, and crushed a few other countries to take second.

Group F

Featuring the other South American powerhouse of Argentina (not to mention the “best player on the planet in Leo Messi) this group was basically a battle for second between Nigeria, Bosnia-Herzegovina, and Iran.  Argentina did not disappoint, winning all three of their matches (though not as impressively as some might have thought.  Nigeria was able to squeeze through for second.

Group G

This was supposed to be the infamous soccer “Group of Death” that happens in every World Cup (it was really between this one and Group D in my opinion).  Of course, this was also the group the United States was drawn into (and so naturally the one I’ll talk about the most).  There were two teams ranked in the top 5 in the world in Germany (a pre-tournament favorite) and Portugal (who had the “other” best player in the world in Cristiano Ronaldo), and then there was Ghana (who had beaten the United States each of the last two World Cups).

Of course, the United States played Ghana first (it was the only game we were given any hope of winning).  And in this case revenge was a dish best served cold!  A goal within the opening minute of the game by the US captain Clint Dempsey put the United States up earlier than anyone could’ve hoped (or the US coach probably wanted).  Ghana of course scored an equalizer, but late in the game, after coming on as a substitute, John Brooks headed home the winner on a Graham Zusi (Sporting KC player) corner kick!!!  This game was the beginning of soccer euphoria in the United States; setting off celebrations around the country (this one proudly happened in my hometown of Kansas City, but believe me there were celebrations at gatherings all over the United States… just look it up):

Meanwhile, Germany dispatched the “greatest player in the world” in Cristiano Ronaldo with ease.  This meant the U.S. playing Portugal next would be a huge match.  While the game ended a tie due to the ONE AND ONLY shining soccer moment Ronaldo had the entire World Cup; the U.S. made us proud.  They fought hard, had a stunning goal from Jermaine Jones, and ultimately probably deserved more from this game.  However the game at least gave me (a self-proclaimed Ronaldo fan) one image that will last forever:  My hometown hero Matt Besler of Sporting KC standing over the “best player in the world” whom Besler had just put on his ass.

Besler standing over RonaldoTake THAT European soccer!!!!  Well, at least until the U.S. played Germany and lost 1-0.  But still, the U.S. took second place in their group, and getting out of the “Group of Death” was something a lot of analysts did not even think would be possible for the U.S.  In case anyone cared, Germany won the group.

Group H

This group contained dark horse favorite Belgium; along with Algeria, Russia, and South Korea.  Belgium and its loaded roster of high quality players crushed the group for first place.  Surprisingly, or perhaps not to some, Russia struggled, and Algeria was able to secure second place in the group.

On to the Knock-Out Rounds!!!

Brazil beat Chile

It took penalty kicks and some heroics by the Brazilian goalkeeper (who plays in MLS currently by the way).  This game should not have been as close as it was, and it also should have been our first clue Brazil might not see its dream realized of winning a World Cup on home soil.

Colombia beat Uruguay

Without Suarez to bite anyone (or score any goals) the Uruguay side had a tough time stopping the Colombians.  James (pronounced Ha-mez) Rodriguez played exception once again, and lead his team on to the quaterfinals.

France beat Nigeria

Not much to see here… just another European powerhouse looking awfully strong and beating up on an African side that had already over-achieved.

Germany beat Algeria

It took extra time; which was slightly surprising.  But then again we probably should have seen that coming when Algeria tried to park the whole team in front of their own goal.  Germany was just to skilled and technical to be stopped.

Netherlands beat Mexico

This wasn’t any sort of a surprise, but it was still sad.  Mexico’s manager was the most animated and entertaining to watch, and the Mexican goalkeeper was undoubtedly one of the best in the entire tournament.  However, the Dutch had the skills and experience, and ultimately proved to strong to handle.

Costa Rica beat Greece

Talk about your all-time lucky draw in the World Cup.  Costa Rica was not even supposed to make it out of their group, and now here they were knocking on the door of the semi-finals because Greece simply had no real scoring threat to throw at them.  The game went to penalty kicks and Costa Rica’s goalkeeper came up big!  A great win for CONCACAF (that is the FIFA region where Mexico and the U.S. also play to qualify for a World Cup).

Argentina beat Switzerland

Thanks to a little extra time magic from Messi (the other “greatest player in the world”) Argentina squeaked by in this game.  It should not have been so close, and it was another sign that the South Americans would need a “hand of God” like occurrence (YEAH, that is absolutely a shot at the Argentinian legend Diego Maradona) to pull away with the title.

Belgium beat United StatesHoward Secretary of Defense

Oh the agony!  It took extra time, and even when all seemed lost the Americans still fought back in the dying minutes to score at least one late goal.  This was the game that might have taken soccer to a completely unheard of level in the U.S.  People gathered in parks, bars, homes, and hell even stadiums (Soldier Field in Chicago and Jerry’s World in Dallas) just to watch this game.  It was an absolute heart-breaker, and to make it worse was the performance of the U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard.  In what will likely be his last appearance in a World Cup; Tim Howard had more saves recorded than any goalie over the past 50 years in a World Cup match.  It was such an amazing defensive performance that for a brief moment even Wikipedia recognized the accomplishment.  An extremely emotional loss, but the valiant effort right down to the bitter end gives American soccer fans plenty to be hopeful about in four years time when the World Cup goes to Russia.




Brazil beat Colombia

This was the sad ending for TWO absolutely spectacular players in this World Cup.  James Rodriguez of Colombia won the Golden Boot award (for scoring the most goals in the tournament), and became a world-wide sensation in the process.  But sadly with his team eliminated he disappeared into the sunset, but not without his team leaving a devastating mark on Brazil.  Late in the game a player went up to challenge Brazilian savior Neymar for a ball in the air, and kneed Neymar in the back so hard that it literally broke a vertebrae in Neymar’s back.  Neymar was done, and you could feel Brazil’s chances of lifting the World Cup were done with him.

Germany beat France

This was not that exciting of a contest.  However, in the semi-finals it appeared that Germany awoke.  So apparently they were saving their best against France for what would come later.

Netherlands beat Costa Rica

The dream run was over for Costa Rica, but not without some tension.  The game went to penalty kicks, and just before the final minute of extra time was over the Netherlands manager (and future manager of Manchester United) made a VERY bold move.  He subbed out his goalkeeper.  He put a guy in off the bench who had not played the whole tournament simply to go stop penalties.  And STOP them he did!!! Tim Krul became a national hero, and Van Gaal (the manager) was proclaimed a genius.

Argentina beat Belgium

On the back of a little more Messi magic Argentina was barely able to pull this one off.  The hopes of a Brazil vs. Argentina final were still alive.  The hopes for Messi to go down in history as one of the greatest to ever play were still alive.


Germany DESTROYS Brazil

GoT Germany beats BrazilThis will be the game everyone remembers.  Soccer is a traditionally low scoring affair, but this game was anything but low-scoring, and even worse for Brazil it was very one sided.  If pictures can say 1000 words then this depiction to the left of The Mountain Gregor Clegane in a Germany jersey crushing the skull of the Brazil supporting Oberyn is all you really need to know.  Germany scored 5 goals… FIVE… on Brazil… IN THE FIRST HALF!!!!!! 4 of the goals came in the span of about 10 minutes.  The score ended 7-1 (and only cause Germany got a little lazy at the end and let a goal slip through in stoppage time).  I don’t know if it was the loss of the Brazilian talisman known as Neymar, or simply the quality of the German squad, but I do know I will never forget this game!  An entire country, who prides itself on legendary soccer greatness, was applauding the Germans for how well they played.  Meanwhile, every dream and hope dashed to bits of Brazil winning on native soil, the only thing that could rub salt in the wound would be Argentina finding a way to win the World Cup on Brazilian soil…

Argentina beats Netherlands

Brazil’s worst nightmare was that much closer to reality.  This game was not even close to the behemoth of a game that was Germany vs. Brazil, but it did go to a penalty kick shoot-out.  This time, however, the brilliant manager of the Dutch had used up all of his substitutes by the end of extra time.  He was unable to use the tactic he used against Costa Rica, and it ended up costing the Netherlands dearly.  Argentina’s goalkeeper came up with some big stops, and the Argentina dream for Messi to hoist a World Cup  (the BIGGEST trophy a team can win in soccer) was that much closer to reality.


Germany beats Argentina 1-0 in extra time

Many people would try and tell you that a low scoring game can’t be exciting… they are all idiots!!!!  They do not even come close to comprehending the beautiful game for what it is.  The free-flowing movement of the ball and players makes for a game where something can happen at any moment.  Sure the score was 0-0 at the end of regulation time, but God some of the chances both teams had were incredible.  You could literally feel the tension building as the game got closer and closer to a possible penalty shootout.  Then a young substitute named Gotze put his personal signature in the German history books.  A beautiful goal led to a Germany victory, and a very well deserved victory at that!

What does all of this mean for the United States and Soccer in the U.S. in general

The ratings to watch a tournament of soccer games (the World Cup) were higher in the United States than they were for the NBA finals!!!  Let me say that again… MORE PEOPLE WATCHED THE BIGGEST EVENT IN SOCCER THAN THEY WATCHED THE BIGGEST EVENT IN PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL.  Make every excuse you want soccer haters:  Ah the NBA sucks too, the NBA finals weren’t that good this year anyway, the NFL is still the king in this country (I won’t argue that one).  The point is soccer mania via the World Cup gripped this country in ways that even the Super Bowl doesn’t do.  You don’t see thousands of people gathering across the country and going absolutely bananas over a touchdown during the Super Bowl, but almost every major city in the U.S. had HUGE watch parties like in the video above with people going just as crazy (no, seriously… look it up on youtube… type in USA world cup watch parties… I’ll wait).  I’m in no way saying soccer is now the most popular sport in America (more likely soccer interest will drastically dwindle until the next World Cup).  What I am saying is that there is hope; hope that one day this country will truly be interested in what is already the most popular sport in the rest of the world.  Hope that young generations of kids won’t be so quick to stop playing little league soccer the second their moms say it is okay for them to put on a football helmet.  This World Cup, while the U.S. didn’t win it, did quite a lot to advance the game if only a little bit further in this country, and simply put… words don’t do it justice!