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Lesson 6: What Do You Live For?

“There’s a difference between what we work for and what we live for.” I’m not sure which of the several shows I’ve been watching I heard this on, but it stuck to my consciousness like a catchy song on a broken Sunday. I’d like to act like this is really just another RSI 101 lesson, but I’m not one for disingenuous pretexts. The question stands: What do YOU live for? I’ve listened to yogis and gurus of one kind or another… from the so called self help motivational speakers of my youth, to the teachers of spirituality and enlightenment of my presentand they all say basically the same thing: Life is what you make it. 

None of us gets to choose how we die, only how we live. – Hank Lawson, Royal Pains

The last several years of my life have been the kind of Serenity Prayerdifficult that make stories worth reading. I’ve had to overcome adversity, depend on the kindness of strangers… lose loved ones… all while trying to make the most out of life. I blamed a lot on circumstance and on the things that I couldn’t control. In doing so, I relinquished my power and subconsciously resigned myself to failure. As such, failures rained; claiming even the ones that were beyond my sphere of influence as mine, completely incapable of seeing anything that wasn’t negative.That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been living life all wrong.

Very recently, I made the decision to change. With prodding and assistance from friends and family… some friends that became family… I chose to live for my own joy and, much like the road less traveled, that has made all the difference.

Buddhas HappySo I’ll ask again, because its important; What do YOU live for? Sadhguru says we are all seeking and living for the same thing: pleasantness. My new life is my version of pleasant, and getting more pleasant every day. What is your version of pleasant? What will bring joy, bliss, peace, serenity, happiness, and ecstasy into your life? It’s been a while, but again this one is important so here’s your assignment: What can you do TODAY to bring one moment of joy into your sphere of influence? Once you know what it is, do it.

Do More. Require Better.

Lesson 2: Happiness is Not a Destination

Lesson 2: Happiness is not a Destination.

You know how when people notice that you’re in an unpleasant mood, and say things about having gotten up on the wrong side of the bed? Or how some people seem to have nothing but wrong sides of their bed? That’s because we’ve been misinformed, perhaps miseducated about what happiness is.

Happiness: A good moment amongst a sea of bad ones.Of all the plans I’ve made for my life, happiness was always my goal; like if I had these things, earned whichever title, was about to accomplish this or that goal, I’d be happy. I don’t know many people who don’t have happiness as the result of their best laid plans. Actually, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have happiness as their ultimate destination. Here’s the thing though; what about every minute of every day while you’re chasing dreams and accomplishments? Are you really content feeling everything but happiness in the mean time?

I tried to explain what I meant to a friend of mine, and she didn’t get it. She was like, “of course you can get to happiness. People find happiness all the time…” Which is exactly the point. If happiness was just a destination; an acquirable thing, we could keep it indefinitely. It would be as simple as achieving goals and crossing finishing lines. It wouldn’t be so temporary or fleeting. We’d get the happiness and live happily ever after.

So what then is happiness? Happiness is a lot of things. Ask a million different people and you’ll get a trillion different answers. Although we treat it like the end to all means, it is both the means and the end. It’s the reason we keep trying in spite of how stacked against us the odds are. It’s what we live for. It’s what we die for. An entire world of hurt and suffering, but having experienced even one millisecond of happiness and we’ll keep coming back for more.Happiness Means: Enjoy the Little Things

  • Bad relationship? Well, remember that time he did that thing and you laughed for an hour just because? I guess it wasn’t that bad was it?
  • Crappy job? Remember that time you and your coworkers just sat around for 30 minutes talking about HR inappropriate things? Well that just made an 8 hour work day enjoyable.
  • Dysfunctional family? Remember that time you gathered in the living room after TGIF trying to do your best Urkel impression? You know damn well that’s why you still take their phone calls.

Happiness isn’t just about going through the motions day in and day out so you can start enjoying life at graduation or retirement. It isn’t about holding on to fond memories from your childhood hoping to recreate some of them for your children. Happiness is about living life every day, one moment at a time in hopes of adding another happy notch to your belt. It’s an experience that we can often miss if all we’re doing is hoping to find it at a final destination that we might never reach.

Create Happiness every day… even if its for no reason at all.
And as always:

Do More. Require Better.

Be A Better You Without Beyonce

So I’m back, but be patient with me because life is taking a sudden turn! Some things are the same some things are very DIFFERENT! But that’s not what I wanna discuss today. Not about me today!

Achievements. Competition. A Better You!

Sounds like some motivational crap that I might just burst into outrage or advice about…and that may happy. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I write and post just as the thoughts are reaching me and my fingers! Well, I picked up this new thing where I say, “right?” after every statement I make. It’s so annoying and I don’t know where I got it from, I’m trying to get rid of it so be patient with me!

Anyways!

So I try my best to be my own competition, I could care less what anyone else is doing, blah blah blah I’ve said this to you before, RIGHT?! Yea, so a friend of mine told me that a friend of hers has been measuring herself and her accomplishments up next to other people that she knows and sees. She believes that she is somehow inadequate because they are either within the same age her or have had the same opportunities as her. I have yet to speak with her about this because she is not really a friend of mine but if I did, I’d tell her that she needs to STOP! WHO CARES what other people are doing? What makes you think that God wants that for you? You must remember that what is excellent for someone else could be a disaster for you! AND for the record, you should not even be paying attention to what anyone else is doing because you have you own life to worry about! I saw a quote that said, “They milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? MINDING YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS!” (Giggles!) Let them mind theirs, and you mind yours. If you do that you won’t feel inadequate because you won’t even know what anyone else is doing!

That makes you A BETTER YOU! Spend the negative energy creating something positive, right? Don’t give anyone the space in your mental that should be used to build yourself up into the person. Everything you do should be for you and the family that you have that cares about your wellbeing and success!

Is this boring to you? I’m bored! But I just needed to get that off my chest!

JAY-Z Beyonce and Solange!

OMG I’ve been wanting to talk to you guys about this for the longest! I can’t wait until I actually get people to comment and discuss with me! Anyways!

WHAT THE HECK?! First off, thank you TMZ for being such creepers! You are awesome. Since then, I am no longer friends with someone because they told me I was an idiot for thinking IN MY OWN OPINION, which is based on the media, that they weren’t a real family unit and there was no real love. Explanation for my reasoning:

So if I am married and my sister literally drop kicks my husband for any reason, I WILL NOT stand and watch as she does it! If I truly love my husband and those vows meant anything to me, then that would be completely unacceptable regardless of the situation. The argument was that they are family and families fight. Correction, families should only be feuding. Physical altercations amongst families can turn into domestic violence or be a result of domestic violence which IN MY OPINION is not love. Make all the excuses you want, but this is my ground and I’m standing on it.

Not that I have to explain why I feel this way, but just in case someone decides to ask, I now have a place to refer them to! 😉

Seriously though, count your blessings and stop worrying about other people. Jay-Z and Beyonce certainly don’t care about what you’re doing and neither do I!

 

–Realistic Royalty

Fortuitous…

I’ve had many many thoughts since my last post but I’ll speak briefly on what I said I’d talk about last time…relationships. Particularly long distance relationships. THEY CAN WORK with patience, commitment, and diligence. Two people have to be understanding enough of each other to make it happen. My reason for saying this is because every man I’ve met has been outside of my little circle. Never have I been really interested in a man that I cross paths with in my daily routine.

Just be aware that your soul mate may live in Italy while you’re here in the US. Figure it out, make it work, get married, and stay married. Whole family units live a wealthy life regardless of the riches they acquire.

Onward…

Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, and North West (fail). North West is probably one of the cutest little babies I’ve seen but really?! The media is literally focusing on her and how rich she is because Beyonce and Mr. Sean Carter are not letting them get anywhere near little Blue Ivy.

George Zimmerman gets detained and allegedly because of potential gun violence…enough said.

SONS OF ANARCHY SEASON 6!

Let me just say, I’m on the edge of my seat these past two weeks. HOLY MOLY it’s about to get ugly and I love it.

Let me give you something that’s a little less mindless and gives you a little insight on who I am and how I think.

I often advise everyone around me to be positive, smile big, laugh hard, never live in fear. Don’t work against society. Work with and around society. You may not agree with what goes on in the world around you, but I’m telling you if you just do as Spike Lee says and “Do the Right Thing” life will be a little less stressful.

When you’re conversing with someone and you don’t feel good when you hang up or walk away from them. Cut them out of your life. They are poison in the human form. On the flipside, if you hurt someone, expect karma to run rage in your life.

Read this, I HATE COMPETITION! Now read this, I do very well in life. I am my own competition. I take on goals that I want to beat of my own. I’m not out to topple someone else’s kingdom.  I purely want to see everyone around me doing well, if not just as well as me. I need to have people who can influence me in areas I fall short because we all fall short in some areas. I cannot stand someone that constantly feels the need to outdo the next person in day to day life. Like, if I talk loud, I don’t need you to talk louder.

Oh and please, PLEASE do not be envious and/or show it. If you’re religious, you know it’s a sin. If you’re a moral person, you know it’s wrong. And if you don’t believe in anything, believe this, you’re not hurting the other person whatsoever. That heart clenching feeling you get when you see that person that you envy, it only bothers you. You’re the only person that feels it.

Peacefully Bowing out…

Vulnerability

What is it about opening ourselves up for all to see that causes fear? What are we to be afraid of, rejection? Of being mocked? Perhaps it is the fear of being alienated, of not fitting in, and so not a properly functioning member of society? We lie, we cheat, we hinder and mock. We are nasty, we are cruel, we are uncaring, blind, mute, and ignorant. We preach freedom, but live in chains. Shout liberty, but are oppressed. Do we not scream for more? Don’t we spend our lives chasing a feeling? Chasing love, accomplishment, acceptance, fulfillment, pleasure, leisure? Worst of all, we close ourselves from each other. We suspect, we doubt, belittle and divide.

Could i bare myself to you? Is it even possible to show the course of my emotion, the source of my fear, my arrogance, my pride? If I stripped away my layers, my armor, my masks would you see the core of my being is the same of yours? I think that’s what it comes down to, we are all the same. Yea you might think us different, but I’m starting to see that is simply not the case. Who among us does not desire happiness? What sort of person seeks hunger and pain instead of bountiful fields and bliss? There are only two differences that matter, two things that even if you took away all else these small differences will still remain. They are language, and methods.

Language as you may have guessed is a small, if not insignificant gap to cross in this day and age. Rosetta stone can have you speaking French in a month, or so I’ve heard, so imagine if you didn’t have that crutch to lean on, if you could communicate without the need of a translator to anyone on the face of the Earth? Perhaps then we could understand our ‘enemies’ intent, and why we are fighting. Maybe then there could be peace between all nations.

So if language is the insignificant difference, then methods is what really stands as a dividing factor in our heads. We all have different methods of finding our happiness. Some find it in physical superiority, others in gardening, and as sad this is to say, some find it in the abuse of power. In the end we want to do what makes us happy, and if I told you happiness for me was marching down the street with nothing between my skin and your eyes but the distance between us, then more power to me right?

The problem, is that we also want to avoid being unhappy, and our methods for doing so are indeed just as varied. Are you unhappy seeing a naked me walking down the street? Maybe you’d make a rule against it to secure your happiness, or perhaps you’d simply stop coming my way? In the end, whatever works best for you is probably the route you’re going to take, but it comes at a price. You see rarely can we make ourselves happy, without forcing someone to lose their happiness. Like me being forced to wear cloths, it is a limiting force that tends to create oppression, struggle, war and grief.

So let us review. Your race, does not matter, we are all the same. Your belief, does not matter in the sense that it does not make you and different from us. You are still a human being who might believe that Jesus was a prophet, or perhaps a false shepherd, or maybe you doubt he existed at all, but in the end we fall into the same category. Your political opinion is null and void in the sense that you simply want the best for you and your loved ones (at least I would hope so) and in that regard you are exactly like everyone else.  Society has no class at least none that matter, because let’s face it if you went around shouting you’re a middle class citizen does it make any difference? It is just another foolish device created to cause separation when there is none.

I’m trying to get you to understand that beneath the cloths, the money, the status, and the possessions we are all still fundamentally the same. And I think people can be petrified to learn something like that, but why I have no idea.