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Decorum Deficiency Disorder: Shut Up About the Fake Woman…hood Already

Apparently, this gender identity situation is a thing Trans - Laverne Coxthat actually requires words and attention, so I’ll start with a disclaimer: I believe that people should be allowed to be whomever and whatever they want to be as long as it doesn’t cause other people any actual harm. I’d want to say other living things s to include plant life and animals, the environment, etc, but I realize that there are very few things that we do as human beings that don’t harm all things in nature, so I have to keep it at people for realism’s sake. The popular claim that someone else’s choices or lifestyle has an impact on your personal life is not a form of “actual harm” as far as I’m concerned. That said, I’m sure I’ll still manage to piss off or offend someone. If that person is you, sorry, not sorry. My opinion can’t cause you any actual harm either. On to the off-pissing contest.

Mone Davis CoverThere’s something about being a woman, having survived my childhood, having overcome and risen above the expectations and lack there of… Something about being a woman makes me feel triumphant every time manage to put on my bra without getting it twisted and tangled… Remembering what it was like when I was still flat chested, knobby kneed, and curveless… Remembering the day I had to accept that I couldn’t play the way I used to, run as fast as I could when I was unencumbered… That time in the pool when the play fighting got too personal and I realized things would never be the same. The first time my thoughts and feelings were dismissed because I was “just being hormonal.” The fact that I made it through all of that; all the changes and growing pains is something I wear on my soul as a personal badge of honor because I know where I’ve been, and that if I can make through all that, I can make it through whatever’s coming next.

The first time I heard a gay man call another gay man “girl” I was taken aback; instantly incensed and permanently irritated. Sure he probably had earned his own struggle badge, but not the same one I did. Even if he had been teased about being effeminate his entire life, it wasn’t the same as being a girl and being automatically considered weaker, lesser, lower by simply having been born. How dare he think it ok to simply claim that title without having earned it? The gall and audacity of it… You can probably see where this is going.

So now, with the newly minted Miss Jenner having been awarded an actual badge of honor for choosing to be a woman openly… the people arguing how disgusting her choice is… the people who want to call her decision brave because it inspires so many to to make that decision for themselves… It pisses me off. Not because I think she should have stay miserable as a man and learned to deal or even just because she gets to wear the woman badge without having earned it. Its because she purchased her badge in every sense of the word. She won’t even suffer the way so many other trans-gendered people will and have because she after paying to become the woman she saw herself as, she’s getting to profit from it. She’s being praised as a hero and all she’s done is the same thing her step daughters and ex-wife have done; capitalize on attention that she doesn’t deserve. How dare people praise her for choosing to be a woman when so many of us who were born women have had to contend with glass ceilings, double standards, degradation, and all manner of unpleasantness by simple virtue of having been born to the female gender. Where’s the badge of honor for every woman who was raped or molested as a child just because she was a she? Why are we only now realizing that the negative connotation of any statement ending with “like a girl” is damaging and harmful? Why is being a girl only heroic and awesome when a man chooses to do it?

I’m sure it really sucks having been born with testes Like a Girl - Mia Hammwhen you’d rather have breasts. I’m sure Miss Jenner wouldn’t have opted for the full treatment of womanhood if it were available. I’m sure if fully functional ovaries and uterus, complete with periods, PMS, pregnancy, and impending menopause was an option, those boxes on the application would have been left blank. I’m happy that she gets to play dress-up with the best brands and finally gets to be the cover girl she’s always wanted to be, but I think its time we moved on from this. So what he decided to be a she. Good for her. Can we get back to Doing More and Requiring Better now?

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  1. […] isn’t that important. The trans issue, on the other hand, I haven’t addressed beyond my disgust over the new Miss Jenner’s claiming the woman of the year award. Yesterday, I had an epiphany: the trans issue doesn’t need my voice. Of course the issue is […]

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