Ruthless Grab Bag: Open Letters

First up I want to say thank you for the flood of sternly worded but entirely respectful hate emails. Yes you are right, my previous relationships do give me a biased view of certain types of women. You in fact do the same thing. But hey, if you are so sure I’m wrong about good girls…wait let me stop before this gets out of hand.

An Open Letter to Fundamentalist Christianity…and why I can’t work with you anymore

I’m tired folks. Really tired. We are supposedly on the same side of Jesus and yet day after blessed day you all make me wonder what bible you are reading. I’ve read the whole book. More than 3 times in fact. So when you glorify ignorance and make yourselves gleefully anti-intellectual I am, in a word, perplexed(look it up idiots). Have you so easily forgotten that Solomon asked God directly for knowledge…AND wisdom? I don’t know where to begin. <-That’s a good starting point. I’d post that Ted Cruz quote about how we can use up the planet all we want, but I don’t really need it for this.

Look you and I have a fundamental(lol get it?) difference on how we view Jesus. I see a revolutionary upsetting the established order of things to bring man closer to God and forgiving our sins so that we can attempt to be better humans. You apparently think he’s a fan of bigotry, greed, avarice, and discrimination. I see God on earth helping the poor, and being so impactful in his message that Matthew(Awesome name drop right?) was convinced to walk away from his lucrative job to follow him. I see Jesus showing intellectuals that he didn’t just want blind faith by challenging with facts and philosophy as well as theology.

So after at least 25 years of recognizing that you and I are two different types of Christians, and your personal flavoring is just not okay with me. So when I call you a cult like those I.H.O.P. people(Seriously, Grandview is home to the Cult who tried to infringe on my pancake place’s name) I don’t want to hear your crying, moaning, or gnashing of teeth. It will fall on deaf ears. I’ve given you 10 plus years to try and see eye to eye, but I gotta walk away.

An open letter to you all about “Internet Shaming”

Parent’s, Significant Others, Spouses, Employers, gather around so I can see you all. Look this stuff has to stop. You are not a good parent for recording your crying child as you beat them with whatever is handy for making twerk videos, or making your son wear a dress for getting bad grades, or punching your daughter while making her tearfully explain that she was talking to guys who are far older than her on Facebook. You people are missing the point. Please discipline your child…let me say that again. PLEASE DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD! The rest of us are annoyed when your 4 year old gets to run around the store screaming at the top of his lungs and knocking things off the shelves. When your kids refuse to shut up on the plane a 7 in the morning please excuse yourselves to the comfort of the plane’s bathroom to put belt to bottom. Stop punishing the rest of us by taking them to a 10pm showing of the newest blockbuster and getting mad when we call you out on it.

But you also need to stop putting your choice of discipline on camera. Stop putting it on Facebook, instagram, vine, youtube, twitter, world Star, Vimeo, Reddit, and the like. We never need to see what you choose to do. We only need to see the result, that the problem is over. You are psychologically abusing your children for the rest of their lives. Every person who knows them now knows what they did. Which sounds fine at first. Until you think about the teachers, administrators, cops, lawyers, judges, college recruiters, military recruiters, professors, potential employers, banks, insurance companies, doctors, politicians, media outlets, potential friends, potential partners, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN will all see this video, and it will color their opinion of your child.

Seriously people? Did none of you think of the consequences? Wait, what am I saying? Of course you didn’t. You’re just a fame hungry, horrible parent. See up there where I said please discipline? I mean that. Spare the rod spoil the child. But the internet is not a rod, it is a Howlitzer tank with air support by 22 F-22 Raptors. And just like everyone has repeatedly told you, when you put something on the internet, it is nearly impossible to remove. This applies to your children as well. You do them a disservice. You are screwing them up and it needs to stop. Or on your heads be it.

No more letters

With those last two I had something specific. With this I want to talk about somethings really quickly that are just too good to hold back. The US clearly got the disadvantage of a rigged World Cup Draw(Germany, Portugal AND Ghana? Really?), but Mexico…well I hope Chicharito gets more time on the pitch at Man U because Mexico is going home early.

The end of an annoying long process that will at some point effect Words Don’t Do It Justice happened not too long ago. So I’m proud to announce the creation of 314 Publishing. More news to come, but for now, expect books, short story collections, and who knows, maybe a comic imprint. I can’t say more yet, but look for more news. And some cool things around here as well.

Just a few quick shoutouts(I know I don’t do this often, bear with me). First up to Superfan and fellow Matador Danielle Baron, she just got engaged. Feel free to annoy her with questions, and scrawling Congrats on her Facebook wall.

Congrats to all of my friends in law school who are about to graduate in a few days. #BarryAlumni Next bar exam, but for now…WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I wish I could join you in Orangeland, but take a shot in my honor and let’s do Vegas after the bar.

See you next week, I’ve got more to tell you all about but…Words Don’t Do It Justice.

– THE Ruthless Wonder

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