So Sunday I was relaxing and talking to my friends online, and on my cell, and of course in one of my main Facebook groups(Shout out to Geek Illuminati!) and someone had dropped this interesting blog post. Now for those who don’t feel like reading all of that I don’t blame you. Dude’s formatting is hell on toast. But that aside I read the whole thing. Why? Because I was certain there would be something redeeming if I just kept going. First things first, He can most certainly come on here and defend his story, I don’t contend that parts of it didn’t happen. But I do contend with the notion that it was this perfect. I’m not one to spare an idiot offline, and most certainly not online. But even I don’t go on what would be a rather extensive conversation in public situations like the one he describes.
What did he describe? Well to give you the quick breakdown, black guy with white wife comes into the barbershop, calls him the wrong name, and questions why he keeps dating black women while pointing out the very stereotypical issues with them. The two go on to a witty repartee which includes defenses of “because I was raised by a black woman aka My Mom’s black and by insulting black women you insult her. Put a pen in that one I’ll be getting to it. And after some interesting back and forth he finally defeats the blonde bomber to the applause and adoration of everyone else in the room. Followed by the quickest back pedal equivocating on race and relationships I’ve seen since a girl in college said she wasn’t racist because she would fuck black guys, but won’t date them(Don’t worry I looked at her like “The FUCK?” too).
You are reading this note because you know what’s coming. This guy is so wrongheaded he’s dangerous. People read his stuff. Heck I’ve been linked this blog post no less than 40 times since Sunday, and that includes after I announced I was going to take a shot at it today. SO to be fair lets give credit where its do and quickly deal with what I agree with. He’s right, if the race of a person is the main reason why you are dating them, or aren’t dating them, then you’re as bad as his barbershop acquaintance couple turned Straw man argument post. And as someone who’s heard friends names be massacred all the time, I sympathize. After all, if you’re unable to say my real name correctly you may have actual issues.
But credit aside, let’s deal with the number 1 issue. I hate to say I woke up one day and realized everyone saying “you should only be with black women” were full of shit. But I basically did. “If the world is full of so many people, why should I limit myself.” hit me one day, and down the rabbit hole I went. This guy though. Apparently our would be hero blogger believes in the sanctity of the black women(I can hear the hate emails now). I don’t, I should quickly point out why. No one is perfection or in fact perfect. My Mother taught me some time ago that I was going to have to work hard to get respect. And that people should work hard to earn my respect as well. Great lesson honestly. And I love her for it. It put the rest of the world in true perspective.
I don’t respect the woman who gave birth to me because she made shitty choices and was ashamed of me. I give ultimate respect to the woman who adopted me, who raised me, who taught me, and who helped make me who I am today. She is my real Mother as far as I’m concerned. Just as her husband, the man who adopted me, and made sure I knew how to be a man every day of his life until his life was gone is my real Father. But the two of them taught me that just because they love and they wanted the best for me everyone wasn’t the same. And the test of my humanity was figuring that out. What does this boil down to? That just because you share my melanin count, racial or ethnic classification, and anything else you think makes us similar doesn’t mean you deserve or have earned my loyalty or allegiance.
The belief that one’s past should not dictate one’s future seems to roll for everyone right up until this particular phrase gets uttered like it’s the original cardinal sin. My mother was a black teenage girl who left no information about my past including health information and wouldn’t even get involved in the adoption process like a true coward. Should I hate all black women including the one who adopted me? No. Should I give all black women a pass because my Mother, the one who adopted me, cared for me as if she gave birth to me, and has made sure I knew I was loved is a black woman? NO. The duality of my existence is proof such altruistic statements are complete folly. My fathers biological and adoptive are both black men. Should I not doggedly follow the positions of black men on all subjects too? Dating or otherwise, this is manipulative cop-out BULL SHIT!
Now this article gets into stereotypes to be sure, but let’s break him down a bit. Why does the very suggestion of interracial relationships seem to be the basis of such vicious conversations when black and white people are involved? The oddity of this one being so much about protecting the sanctity of his mother, the perception of all black women who he just described as essentially fishing for male attention, suddenly are as blameless as Mary the mother of Jesus. Look back at it. He doesn’t call the women outside attention whores directly, but you thought it. Why? Because using your vocabulary to hide calling someone an attention starved contradiction is the way intellectuals and unfortunately pseudo-intellectuals operate. And he’s not a pseudo, but when I tell you the threads I’m in where this piece was discussed are overpopulated with them…anyway.
Someone started in with me on this one with a quote about how his Momma’s black and so he doesn’t want to look at them negatively. I responded with “My Mother is a black woman, but I shouldn’t paint them all with the same positive brush. And because I’m smart enough to realize correlation is not causation, and similarity in one aspect does not translate to all aspects.” And that’s the real point here. You don’t get a free pass from THE Ruthless Wonder for being “Black like me.” I love black women. I love dating black women. But I also know for all the ones I like there are a lot I don’t like. Same with white women. Same with Asian women. Same with every ethnic classification really. I love women. I love dating women. But that doesn’t make me blind to reality. And our guy doesn’t fail to see it here. He stealthily slips in so many caveats at the end that you’re likely to miss as you applaud the confrontation, that really his piece doesn’t say anything. It’s an ego boost. “I defended black women to a white woman who I’ve embellished up to Disney Evil levels(Did you just make her look like the girl from Frozen? lol Sorry for that).” Basically, he made click bait and everyone fell for it.
And that’s why he is today’s subject. Though his piece about men cheating I just got linked from Ms. Auset Noir herself would be worth a Note anyway. So before I get off topic let me truly drop a final super villain thought. You determine who you respect. Isn’t it more proper to respect those who earn it by their actions, not by some preconceived notion of similarity based on skin tone? It’s all good to link up to defeat problems that face all black people. It’s not okay to gloss over flaws because someone looks like your complexion. Just because they look like you, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be held to the same scrutiny as you would someone who doesn’t. Because if we give every black person a pass for being black, we will never get anywhere.
Scrutiny includes the analysis of the negative. If dialogue on the issues is sought by all, then shouldn’t the discussion start with how do we deal with the facts that paint folks in a particular community(black, American, geek, gamer, laywer, conservative, liberal, hero, human, villain, etc) in a negative light? You can’t correct what you deny. And really, the majority of black men date black women. It isn’t even a close ratio. So don’t come with that loyalty mess. Just because most black men don’t shout down a bruh for marrying a non black woman doesn’t mean every black guy is like, “wait til I find me a good white girl, I’m done with these black chicks.” *And then we all laugh and give dap around the barber shop.* That shit’s ridiculous. So before I start pointing out the hypocrites and tossing shade at you Scandal watchers I’m out. Because Obviously there is more I could say but…Words Don’t Do It Justice.
-THE Ruthless Wonder aka Lex Luthor aka Dio Brando aka YOUR Favorite Super Villain
Send you emails to email@example.com but I won’t respond till tomorrow, Its time for my birthday celebration.