The Territory of New Kemet
Normally I reserve this rant platform for something I hate. I’ve been holding back since Words Don’t Do It Justice started to be sure that I didn’t alienate everyone right at the beginning but after this particular post I’ll be getting a lot more specifically vicious. This post though is your favorite Super Villain offering an option to a certain segment of our readership. I haven’t forgotten about you. In fact I’ve been saving this up for you. Because if you recall I used to be a lot more like you. You know exactly what I mean. So I’m going to hypothesize something that should be right up your alley. But I know you won’t agree with it. Why? Because I know deep down this isn’t about progress for some of you. The ones that it is about progress will find this idea very intriguing. The ones that don’t well when did I ever stop calling you out and calling you knaves, charlatans, and fakes, giving but lip service to the ideas you speak of to get the attention of those around you or your hilariously flawed amorous pursuits?
The idea today is of a place you think is impossible that I’m going to present as entirely possible. The creation of a new actor on the domestic stage. A new state? No. A forcibly made US territory. It actually isn’t that hard to do. US Territories can be created at any time. And by properly suing or petitioning for such a status. So let’s not talk about how to do it. Let’s start with why and go from there.
The case for New Kemet being a US territory
This really comes down to logic and reason. While many folks scream about how much they wanna go back to Africa and reconnect, something I generally applaud, I don’t see a lot of them saving up. The idea of having a place they can connect with is something they want. The idea of reconnecting with their long-lost and stolen roots is what they want. But the reality of it is a lot more dangerous and expensive than they want to deal with. Not saying Africa is all Warlords and bushmen. In fact most nations in Africa have cities on par with most cities elsewhere. And the key reason that it should be made of current US land as a US territory is conveniences. There is a need to be in an area easy to be moved to so that we eliminate the “That’s too far away.” “I ain’t moving to hot ass Africa” line of comments.
The other reason that deep down you really want this to start as a US territory is this. Who in your position doesn’t want to stick it to the US government? They provide you the land, they have to cover you in case of some upstart conquering madman(Let’s face it, me most likely) decides to march his private army into New Kemet to take over things. You better have the worlds most expensive Military Super Power as your backup to keep them in check(Seriously, if I wasn’t involved in a place like this I would be using it to prove my Super Villain cred). If your doomsday forewarning of the fall of America is right(it isn’t), then better to have them backing you up and then getting a chance to break free post than be the stepping stone for whoever comes to raid America. Instead they might find your plight compelling and free you. Then you too get to loot American’s wealth.
Okay back to reality again. A territory of the US can have a separate government and so long as it does not restrict US citizens from relocating there, has very broad powers over the immigration policy of the territory. So the rule of law, and who gets to come in and hold office are fair autonomous. Right up your alley right? I know it is. It is after all why I suggested this. So let’s talk about what such a place should be built as next.
The idea of a place like this is good. Knowing it could be both part of and not part of the US is good. but how would such a territory on the path to being a country work? Well number 1 rule is don’t bit off more than you can chew. The initial land purchase should something in the range of double the size of San Marino. It is officially 24 miles square, so we are talking about 48 square miles. Dimensions wise you’d want to front a water source so a river or the ocean directly. To increase the space taken up by the territory, it needs to be longer than it is wide so say 40 by 10(the math may be a tad off) fronting on said water source. The genius of something this shape and size is that it is easy to accommodate more than one major city within the structure and basically everyone gets near water property.
So since the place is going to be packed with people if we don’t go at things sensibly, let’s talk about city developement. Two cities only people. Just two cities. Why? Well first off you really don’t have the space to do multiple cities beyond that. At some point the two cities would likely be right on top of each other. If you are as hardcore super black as you claim you don’t want it to be called Alexandria after all. So why not Buto and Nekhen if you are wanting to get real legit here? I would personally go with Waset and Alexandria, but we’ll save that for when I come to power okay?
So the next point in developement would be who gets to rule? If you really want to be hardcore about it there should be equal chance for Kings or Queens to come to power. But being a US territory to start you’ll need a democratically elected government. So call your Governor Pharoah if you like, but until you have someone willing to beat the Americans and their money away you’ll be bending the knee to the POTUS like the rest of us. And let’s face it, y’all ain’t prepared for armed rebellion. We don’t believe you. You need more people.
Now let’s finish out development by talking about something important. Business. Yup those corporations you hate coming in to the territory you want. There is a lot of good news here. being a territory means the government can’t force a corp on you. You would only let in businesses that you chose to. And even better you get to set things like taxation rates and the like. Of course the downside is without being business friendly to even those companies you produce in your territory they are going to leave or of course fail constantly. So much as you hate all things brought to you by the white man. You need businesses of decent scale.
This is short for a reason. There is little to no reason to worry about the arts being supported so long as it is Ratchet Poetry and hip hop music…Sorry I was a bit harsh there. Let’s back up. It has never been an issue to get Artisans and creative types among black people out of the woodwork. The problem often is the audience. So in your new territory the problem will be the balance between the 50 million hip hop record labels and the Amazing Opera voices moving to your territory from Julliard, and the Shakespearean actor from Cambridge coming to set up his theater company. Which brings us to the next problem. In fact the big problem.
Random Ninjas doing random dumb ninja sh!t
In the end the damage to anything uplifting among our collective ethnic classification is the segment that is seemingly dedicated to being problematic. Because you can’t keep out American citizenry, you can’t keep out idiots who share that ethnic classification. So you’ll still have thieves, thugs, junkies, and the like to deal with. Unless you want to sacrifice by making massive territorial systems that deal with these issues. So you’re going to need money for that, which of course goes back to corporate overlords, taxes, and that army following The Ruthless Wonder himself, Lord Maxus The Prime who plans to subjugate you to his will for fun. You have to account for the people being allowed to join this territory you don’t control.
And they will come. Because some of the people who first come and invest will need a workforce. And the workforce will need somewhere nearby to live. And eat. And hang out. And loiter. And be annoying. And cause auto accidents. And traffic weed. And traffic women. And steal because you don’t pay them enough to buy Jordans. And boycott the light-skinned guy who owns the apartment complex in the Ritzy part of town because it costs too much for them to live there. And the Dark-skinned woman who is head master at the private school. Get my point?
The Big Left Turn
You really brought all of this on yourself. You had to know I was building you for a crash right? The left turn here isn’t as insane as it could be. I mean I did just lightly show why this needs to be a US territory and grown into an independent country slowly. You didn’t think that would come without consequence? If you were thinking this would have a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention. So Theon here’s the inconvenient truth. You can do all of this that I described now with a decently permissive state and a county filled with your own political power. See that’s the thing I think you missed.
What you want is going to take uniquely American power, so why not get the benefit of the American system in the first place? You would have to come together and agree on a constitution, legal system, and governmental structure anyway. Think of how difficult that would be to begin with. Not to mention the influence of the major religions in our particular community. Without going that route, you could find the land somewhere in the states as they exist now. With a small time county that you could flood with development and political power by getting people moved there. With that base of power you could then change the state laws as they govern that county and build like you want. Because as I said, the reality is that you aren’t going to set up in a another area of the world because you couldn’t get people to move there. And there aren’t enough people with money to move there to build it all. So you’d need cheap dehumanizing labor to build it up. Which would make you like the white man you so malign.
So in conclusion, there is your blueprint. There is me reminding you why I can be a force all on my own. That was the totally opinion based version. I could easily sit down with a set of people and of course explain where, what investors, and do city planning. The fun thing about my position is. I’m a Super Villain. I don’t have to help you. I can point at the idea and let other people see how ironically flawed it is. But I’ve given you a plan. One if you chose to ask for my services could work. I can’t promise I won’t turn the place into the beginning of my own country. But you could rest easy knowing I share your ethnic classification. You could feel secure that i would conquer in our collective name. That I would be “YOUR” personal and favorite Super Villain. Being so Ruthless, all others would be left to Wonder. For you merely adopted my Ruthlessness. I was born in it. Shaped by it. I didn’t know mercy until I was already a man. I could go on about this, but Words Don’t Do it Justice.