One of the many things people bring to me as comments on my posts, some of which are deleted (Cause I own this place I will delete if I feel like it), is that I am somehow dismissive of other people’s struggles. Much to these people’s surprise I often tell them I am. Don’t worry, I don’t mean that I am dismissive of actual struggles. I mean in the age of twitter campaigns and tumblr conventions some people’s supposed “struggle” is just more of their personal entitlement on steroids. To help get you in the mood for today I have a video I want you to check out. It is long, so don’t worry if you feel like you need to skip it. I’ll have a funny photo of comments to help illustrate the point after it.
The video is a great example of what I’m talking about today. And instead of ranting about it, I’m giving you a calm and measured approach. Both of the young women in the video decide to say damn all logic for different reasons, but both come from a similar (though not the same) entitlement complex. That their struggle is somehow equal. And this video will be uncomfortable for some people reading. Hell they are probably already typing their facebook, twitter, or email comments to me about how I am a racist, or misogynist, or sexist, or caught up on color, or backward, or I hate white people, or all manner of annoying hilarious responses that miss the point entirely.
Again I’m taking measured aim here. Besides being funny this quote is an interesting social experiment. For instance. Did you assume I made this? Did you assume a non white person made this? Did you assume a man made this? Of course you did one of those. Hell you probably read the last line in a guy’s voice. I know I did. Making these basic assumptions is a part of who we are. But where everyone goes too far is taking them into comparative contests of who has it harder in the world.
Number 1 if you are in any country with reliable internet in your house, AC, power running water, flushing toilets, and no government currently trying to kill the rebels who want to free people, and you HAVE all the things I mentioned, you aren’t doing too badly. Now If you’re in one of those countries but don’t have those things…yeah rough go. But you didn’t come here to see me remind you that America is full of deeply impoverished people, mentally ill and veteran homeless people, and treats them like they shouldn’t exist. You know that. No this is about outrage at being called out on things. So to help I’m going to talk about some specific ones that are on my nerves at the moment.
Neckbeard/Otaku/WhiteKnight/FriendZoneGuards: These guys wouldn’t be so bad if they had an ounce of irony, a hint of vision, and a straight razor shave. They get outraged when any conversation might suggest they have sexual interest in the opposite sex, when any male has an opposing viewpoint to them, or when their particular hobby is attacked. Why did I lump them together? Because the hypocracy of this group is that if you are attacking something they enjoy they become the ultimate defender, but if it is something they don’t have affinity for or actively hate, they are the most pious, most pure example that we should strive to be like when addressing the matter. Its horse shit, and I’m just the guy to call it what it is.
Key overblown entitlement: it is hard to be a good guy when all of the bad guys are more successful, have more interactions with my particular sexual interest, and look better than I do.
What they’re missing: If you SHAVED YOUR FUCKING NECKHAIR, and learned how to dress for your body type you would have better success on all fronts. Employers want you to look like someone customers would like to deal with, or at least like a professional. And shock of all shocks, so do the people looking for a mate in the dating game. It is not “as hard for you” as it is to be a guy who has an honest blue-collar job. That guy is working hard to do everything, you drew the line at trying to look like we classy gents with a fedora, and NOT SHAVING YOUR NECKHAIR.
And since I’m in a good mood today Let’s just hop right into the America specific ones.
Non-minority women: They truly believe the system is treating them as bad as it treats women of color. And will fight you on it over and over again. So deep is this delusion that they believe their struggle is worse than most minorities in general. Flying in the face of reason, logic, rational thought, and in fact an alarmingly large amount of scientific studies on the matter. Like the girls in our piece above they will find ways to make the situation they face sound as hard as possible, even with evidence to the contrary.
Key Overblown Entitlement: You can’t possibly know how hard it is to be a woman in the workplace, much less a white woman who they expect to just shut up and act submissive.
What they’re missing: Besides the obvious need for a reality check on difficulty, they imagine a world where everyone is a predator and they are an innocent doe. Sure you yelled at the IT guys to fix problems with your computer that you caused by not doing what they told you the last time you bothered them. But their searing, seething, white-hot nuclear hatred for you is just misogyny, not entirely justified annoyance. The world doesn’t want to eat you alive, and despite how many movies, tv shows, or poor excuses for journalism you read online, every man is not out to oppress you, and every minority woman does not wish to be you. Also they told me to tell you to stop touching their hair. That’s disrespectful.
Americans: I struggle with calling this category out. Not because I am American, but because I know places that truly are as bad as some 3rd world spots. But you’re going to catch this fade anyway land that I love. Why? Because we assume that the struggles of race, poverty, class, religion, and social progress are always greater here. And the worst part is we know it isn’t. Hutus and Tutsis were killing each other in the same country. Hell right now ISIL is fighting the Iraqi government and the Syrian government to make their own country. By comparison we really don’t have the same trouble. But then that’s the 150 person bit in full force.
Key Overblown Entitlement: We’re the first country to survive more than a year based solely on a political system idea and not regionalized nationality. Therefore, we always are the most persecuted, and at the same time the best example.
What they’re missing: Democracy isn’t always best for everyone. Hell capitalism isn’t always best for everyone. And much bigger than that. You cannot continue to claim to be the best at something when you have such massive problems internally. Don’t tell the world to be less racist when cops are shooting unarmed black teens and going on 8 plus weeks without being arrested (#FUCKFERGUSONPD).
And I could go on and on. The thing is some people have worse lots in life. It does you no good to act like they don’t. In fact, it makes you a shittier person. I know as a guy I have an instant level of safety walking on my own at night. But I also know as a black guy every cop who sees me will instantly pay far more attention to my movements. Remember your place people. You start where you start. Acting like you started from the bottom when you went to private school all your life and got a car at 16 is disingenuous. Acting like race and gender identification or sexual orientation are the same struggle is just as dumb. It sucks to be a short guy. But not as bad as to have an actual physical handicap. It sucks to be diabetic. But not as bad as having MS.
I can’t believe I have to say it, but Different struggles are not the same. And they sure aren’t equal. Humans might be, but our lives, backgrounds, ambition, success, drive, personality, mentality, and social standing aren’t. If you don’t like yours do something about it. But don’t say it is the same as someone in a worse position. You look like an idiot, and sound like a dolt. Now I could say more but this went long and clearly…WORDS DON’T DO IT JUSTICE!
– THE Ruthless Wonder
p.s. If you or someone you know doesn’t shave their neck hair, or indeed doesn’t know how. There are websites you can visit, or indeed places you can go to have it taken care of. They are called barber shops. And they are your friend.