So you may recall that last Friday I was gearing up to fight the Nazis and the Klan in downtown Kansas City. Well little did I know this would not be your garden variety run in with the white supremacists. In fact this was so far from what I expected you will have to forgive the manner in which I address this particular situation…
Seriously. That is all I can respond with. Folks these were the lamest Nazis I have ever seen. I’ve seen actual Nazis in old film reels, I’ve seen Neo-Nazi college students, and of course now I have seen what happens when you let just anyone have children.
I’m not going to waste too much breath on this because Fuck the Nazis. But also because it was such a joke. I don’t know that they realized how much of a laughing-stock they were. Where do I begin?
1. For the first 2 hours there were a total of 4 Nazis and it took them 40 minutes to erect 1 flag.
2. Some old chick at least as big as me in a confederate flag leather jacket was trying to egg on some of the anti-nazi folks down at the corner near the school board building(Is that still the KCMSD school board building downtown? I’ve been gone a while.) She nearly fell on her face twice, and would get winded every 40 seconds mid middle finger or ass rub gesture and have to sit down. This continued when she joined the rest of them in front of the courthouse. There was also a man so old we are all pretty sure that he was just an old German man who they talked into walking with a flag in his hand so they had more people. He didn’t even seem to know where he was.
3. When the rest did show up…no co-ordination whatsoever. Look I’m not about to praise Nazis here but dammit they could goose-step together and coordinated all the “Sieg heil” chants and salutes. These losers didn’t goose-step at all, and not one single solitary time did anyone chant at the same time or salute at the same time. If this is the Neo-Nazi army preparing to march on America…well apparently a lot got lost in translation.
4. Granddad fought the real Nazis in World War II, so I will say this as clear as I can. None spoke any German. If you’re so angry about the state of America than you want to create a group based on your thoughts and then have rallies and name yourselves after the Biggest Evil behind the Confederacy, England, and The Soviets, as yourself Sprechen sie deutsch(That means “do you speak German”)? None of them even slipped in any other German word. Ich bin enttäuscht.
5. I have a few German friends both here in the US and in Germany/randomly about the world(Frankfurt was a blast last summer!) So I don’t want you to think I hate German people. Fucking brilliant country to drop in on. Next time I’ll see more. I’m confident though if my friends of German national or ethnic classification saw this they would be collectively headslapping themselves harder than a Jean Luc Picard Meme.
6. Everybody basically had on random t-shirts. Some didn’t even have supremacist stuff on them. Not one Nazi uniform in the bunch. I know Cosplay FAIL photos with better attention to detail. Even the Klan all come in uniform. Speaking of the Klan…
7. How sad are you that the Klu Klux Klan stands you up and leaves you hanging? When we went from the initial 4 to the 24 about 2 hours and a 40 minute flag raising attempt later, we still didn’t see any of the supposed Aryan biker gang that was going to show support, and the Klan no-showed harder than DMX to the VMAs when he was popular. When the KKK is standing you up for White Power dates where national publicity is involved you need to re-evaluate things.
8. So after we got an answer to how many neo-nazis does it take to set up a flag, and the lamest Nazis ever proved to be the latest nazis ever, they played a half hour-long speech even they didn’t listen to. If you’re so bored that you don’t want to pay any attention to your own recordings of your supposed great leaders then why even do this? But the live folks were no better, each speaker contradicted the one before them, it sounded like none of them had actually prepared. Hitler might have been charismatic, but this lot couldn’t talk paint into drying on a summer afternoon.
9. It should go without saying these people are stupid, but saying you want to fight the crowd of anti-rally members in Westport in full earshot of 40 police officers is pretty dunderheaded. Even for this lot of dolts.
10. What was the big point in every speech by the Lamest Nazis ever? Why fighting communism of course. Yes every single live speaker spent at least 10 muttering about fighting the onslaught of the communist threat. COMMUNISTS. Apparently there are secret roving bands of communists waging a secret war on all of America. Lurking around every corner. Hiding in every bush. lol. If they were so serious I’d swear they were trolling.
I met some very cool new folks, and reconnected with some old friends from undergrad, and of course heckled the annoyance by shouting “Shoot yourself like Hitler did.” when they were looking my direction or quiet. But I met a woman with the sign you see in the picture below, and while my friend Paul at Forever Flawless Photography(Hire the guy, he does great work) took more shots which we’ll put in the Facebook group, She had a great sign and I think the best thought to have about intolerant people like this. So as I end while I now have more respect for the Klan than Neo-Nazis, am surprised at the Nazi rhetoric, and supremely disappointed in the whole sham of an affair they did, I am happy humanity has people like Marianne in it. Make Love not Hate people. I’d say more, but this picture says a lot, besides…Words Don’t Do It Justice!