Welcome to the Suspense World of Reason…
Beep, beep, beep, beep
I reach over and turn the alarm off. ‘It can’t be time already,’ I say to myself. I look at the time and I see that it is indeed 5 am, time for me to get up. I really hate waking up so early. I roll myself out of bed and when I try to get up I realize I have a massive headache. I walk slowly to the bathroom to get ready. Afterwards I walk into the kitchen to grab something to eat. As I am eating my toast and orange juice, Ashley walks in looking as groggy as I feel. “Rough night,” I say to her.
“Do we really have to go in today,” Ashley says.
“Unfortunately, there is no get-out-of-med-school-free-card,” I say sadly.
“Ugh, why did we choose to be doctors,” Ashley whines.
“Who the hell knows,” I say, “But on the bright side, this is our 4th and final year, and we only have a few more months to go,”
“Few months too long,” Ashley says. We both laugh. To think we have made it this far is insane. “Are we driving together,” Ashley asks.
“Yea, I’m leaving in 10 minutes, can you be ready by then,” I say.
“Just have to put on my shoes,” Ashley says. Before I can respond, Raymond walks into the kitchen and stands by the counter directly in front of me. He looks into my eyes and I am slapped with the reality of what happed last night. I woke up with the distant memory, but I thought it was just a bad dream. Or maybe I was in serious denial. Ashely slams the kitchen counter and I am startled out of my daze and I quickly get up and say, “Hey Ash, I just remembered I have to make a stop somewhere so we can’t drive together, see you there” and I rush out the door. I could hear Ashley saying something to me, but I ignore her and rush out the door.
As I am driving to school, I try to remember exactly what happened last night and I am disgusted. I cannot believe I would do that to my friend. Did I really have that much to drink and I didn’t know what I was doing or am I just a horrible person. I don’t really have time to think much on this because I have arrived at the hospital. I walk in with my head down and go straight to the locker to change my scrubs. Then I go to the nurse’s station to pick up some papers and the nurse hands me a small piece of paper that says, ‘Dr. Ross is no longer the OB attending, Dr. Long will be taking his place’. I see Dr. Joe, the doctor whose services I am assigned to and I call him over, “Hey, Dr. J, what’s this about Dr. Ross,” I ask.
“I don’t know, I’m just finding out today. But I have more bad news, Dr. Carter,” Dr. J responds, “looks like you will now be with Dr. Long for the remainder of the year”.
“What? But why,” I say sounding like a whining child.
“I don’t know. He asked for you,” Dr. J says.
“Can’t you do something about it Dr. J” I ask.
“I already tried, DC, just suck it up. Only five months to go,” Dr. J says.
“‘DC’ who is that,” Dr. Long says appearing out of nowhere.
“DC stands for Dr. Carter, it’s what we call Amy,” Dr. J informs Dr. Long.
“Oh, ok Dr. Carter, you’re with me, let’s go,” Dr. Long says as he walks away.
I give Dr. J a pleading look, and he shrugs his shoulders, so I give up and run after Dr. Long.
“What you will do today is, take vitals on all my patients, and update me if there is any pertinent information. After you are done doing that, I have a list of patients who are post-op and you can update me on them as well. After that, you can start prepping for my 3 o’clock surgery; I want you to scrub in. Did you get all that,” Dr. Long says.
“Yes. Umm do you mean the C-section that is scheduled for 3 o’clock,” I respond.
“Yes, that C-section now includes general surgery because during pre-op testing we found an enlarged tumor on the mother’s pancreas,” Dr. Long says.
“A tumor,” I say, “Why are we waiting until 3”?
“The mother surprisingly isn’t in any pain and the tumor has not grown since we last checked it, plus I have other things to take care of,” Dr. Long says as he walks into a room and closes the door behind him.
“I guess we are done talking,” I say to myself. I go down the list and decide who to check up on first.
It is 1 am and I am exhausted. I am trying to take a nap in the on call room but my pager keeps going off. I wonder if I will get fired if I just turn it off, because this is the fourth time I have come in here and laid down for 5 minutes and it has gone off before I can even drift off. “What the hell do you want now,” I say more loudly than I intend to. I look at the number and I don’t recognize it, so I go to the nurse’s station.
“DC, Dr. Long is looking for you, he says he wants you to meet him in his new office, room 345C,” Mary, the night nurse tells me.
“Where in the world is that,” I ask. I thought I knew where everything was but apparently not.
“I have no idea,” Mary says, “Go up to the 3rd floor and follow the numbers I guess. No one really uses that wing, so I don’t know what else to tell you”.
I turn away and drag myself towards the elevator and go up to the 3rd floor. This better be important because I am running on zero sleep and a hangover… Damn, I completely forgot about what happened between Raymond and I. Now I have to deal with that when I get home. I wonder if I should just forget the whole thing and not tell Ashley. Maybe Raymond doesn’t even remember what happened… Where is this damn room? Oh there it is. I walk in the room and see Dr. Long sitting in a chair in front of a fancy desk. “Hey Dr. Long, is this your new office,” I say awkwardly.
“Yes it is,” Dr. Long responds, “come in and shut the door. Have a seat”.
“Kind of a strange place to have an office,” I say with an attitude. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. This is what happens when I get no sleep and I sleep with my roommate’s boyfriend. Not that I do that kind of thing often.
“Yes, well I like a quiet place to think,” Dr. Long says, “Now come here and let’s review what occurred today”.
“I’m sorry can we do this first thing tomorrow, I really don’t think my brain is fully functioning right now,” I say.
“Is it your goal to become a doctor or not,” Dr. Long says rudely.
“Ok,” I say softly. I walk over and sit in the seat next to him.
“Now tell me how you examined Mrs. Well’s fetal heart rate,” Dr. Long says.
“Umm ok,” I say, “I uh took the uh…”
“Was it like this,” Dr. Long says as he put the stethoscope on my belly.
“Uh yea,” I say not understanding why he’s asking me this. I’ve done this a hundred times I know what I am doing.
“Ok,” Dr. Long says, “I want to make sure you are doing it the way I want, which may not have been the way you were taught”.
“Oh Ok, well, then I put the stethoscope on the left side of Mrs. Well’s stomach because that is where the baby positioned itself…” I pause and I try to recall how I did this, but I can’t think because all I want to do is sleep. As I am trying to focus Dr. Long unzips his pants pulls his cock out and starts to stroke it. “What the hell are you doing,” I say sternly shocking the both of us.
“You’re not very bright are you,” Dr. Long says.
“You are completely out of line. I’m leaving and I’m reporting this,” I say and I get up and walk away. Dr. Long grabs me by my hair and pulls me towards him and whispers in my ear, “Do you think anyone is going to believe you? I am a respected surgeon who has traveled the world performing miraculous surgeries. And you are an orphan who only got accepted into med school because everyone felt sorry for you. Poor little Amy’s parents get murdered and she witnesses the whole thing and then she ends up in the looney bin at the tender age of 9. How many nervous break downs have you had since you’ve been here, 5, 6? I will just tell them you are in over your head and the pressure of the last few months is too much for you to handle”.
“No one will believe you,” I say trying to free myself but he yanks my hair again and holds me by the waist.
“Oh Amy I think everyone will believe me. And I think we both know they will. Now you’re going to shut up and do what I tell you, or you can forget about ever becoming a doctor,” Dr. Long says.
I try to loosen his grip but he just holds me tighter. He puts his hands down the front of my scrub pants and forcefully sticks his fingers in me. I try to scream but he yanks my hair so hard a sharp pain shots down my neck and back. He then says, “Why do you think I chose you, because you were special or smart? You’re at the bottom of your class. I chose you because I knew I could do whatever I wanted to you and you would have no choice but to obey”.
The reality of his words hit me hard and I realize he is right. No one will believe me. I’m the emotionally unstable orphan who everyone assumes will fail. I have everything to lose. My thoughts are interrupted when he slams me to the ground and shoves his cock in my mouth. “Don’t even think about biting, because I will kill you,” he says. He grabs the back of my head and shoves my head forward and I gag. I want to cry but I can’t. I want to bite him, but I am afraid, so I just close my eyes and wait until it’s over.