Archives for : Lucrémo

And now we come to…the end of an era

Today, oddly enough was supposed to be the pay off FINALLY for a number of posts about relationships that I thought might be better than all my previous ruthless on relationships post. And indeed I’ll get to that later.



Today is a day I bring us to a place I knew could happen, but was happy every time it didn’t. Today we end the hour for the last time. What do I mean? Today is the beginning of a goodbye party. For this blog. Oh it will continue to exist, but a transition is afoot. And so with all transitions, some things remain the same, while other change or are left behind.

If you would have told me 3 years ago as I was studying for the bar that we would be here I would be shocked. But if you would have told me that we would get here after 450 thousand views I’d also be shocked so much attention happened. Words Don’t Do It Justice started as an idea, a bit of fun, and a lot of me. I have buried hatchets with enemies because of this blog, reconnected with old friends, and made new ones because of this blog, found meaning in the midst of my own personal depression because of this place. I have consumed it, and let it consume me. I love it. But loving this blog means knowing what to do. And taking a good long look I know the thing to do is let it go.

But I said this was transition not destruction.

And indeed it is. I’ll be taking Words Don’t Do It Justice away from our blogging past into a show based future. For me, the question was one of logistics. Was it better to end everything and walk away from these years of effort, or find a way to keep the place alive in the hearts of all of you who have supported us? I choose to believe that you will keep supporting us, and I chose to keep this place alive in a new way.

That means giving you what we planned. Give No Quarter, The Wrath of Ruthless, and Words Don’t Do It Justice are the three pillars of Ruthless Radio. 3 shows with different formats that bring you many of the topics you might see written about here, but in a new form and with some new and old faces/voices. Over the next few weeks as we ready to for the relaunch of Words Don’t Do It Justice as a podcast, you’ll get to read some farewells from various alums, and hear from the incoming folks for these shows. You’ll also see the Words Don’t Do It Justice site itself undergo various changes. With plenty of hard work, luck, and you listening in, I hope to earn your trust for these new shows, and continue to hold our interest.

SO! What about Weekend’s Don’t Do It Justice?

Well I’m happy to say our little casual interest site is growing well. And it is going to continue. We had a nice response to the sample chapter from Project 13, and now that game of thrones is done you’ll see a lot of other reviews, news, and related content there. Our gamers are doing their thing, and if Vantinel’s CEO appearance is any indication of commitment, we will only continue to grow over there.

As I end for now I just want to say thank you, and of course to keep watching what we do. But more than that, thank you for being a force for us. We continued to push because you were there with us. 100,000 visitors, 450,000 views, and 3 years of growth, While things must change, I am glad to have made it to this point. A point that let’s me look back and say that YOU made us more than I imagined. And though Words Don’t Do It Justice…Thank you.


“THE Ruthless Wonder” Matthew Elisha Williams

Founder of Words Don’t Do It Justice

And now… at the end of the hour


This week we debuted a brand new podcast with a livestream. We said goodbye to one of the founders. We tackled coons, and hoteps. As well as assault, and the HIV & AIDS treatment drug Truvada.



I skipped a couple lines to let that sink in.

When this started I literally just wanted to take my usual facebook ranting to a website. I figured it would be like the old days of my Xanga page. Now, now I deal with potential sponsors, have production meetings, worry about our average listening and reading time, and look for brand expansion.

I remind you, I was so bored in the last semester of law school I decided to make a blog to archive the things I would normally rant about on Facebook.


So you can understand that having gone from that place to now is rather…amazing if I’m honest. I had no idea. We’ve added and lost people over that time. But more than their contributions or mine, we’ve gotten to know a lot of you. As of this writing, 92,000 of you have come to get to know us over these 3 years of Words Don’t Do It Justice. And you must like it here, because you’ve dropped in 302,000 times.


That is astounding. That is epic. And to think that it has all come before we put up a single ad, before we shilled a single product, without a marketing team, and mostly from the effort of our authors, and their friends and family who have additionally believed in us and shared us with other people.  I can’t tell you enough thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do. It really has made the difference.

What that means is even what I’ve done in the past year isn’t enough. I have to do more. And I am. While we lost a podcast co-host today, I’m proud to say we gained 2 new ones for our show Give No Quarter. While we have Reason on break for a while, I’m happy to say we will be launching Weekends Don’t Do It Justice as its own site ( Look for a review of a hilariously bad movie coming over there soon from me.

Heck, go buy a shirt, phone case, hoodie or tank.

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more. Click the photo to go straight to the store!

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more.
Click the photo to go straight to the store!


I’m also happy to say that I’m teaming with Mr. 9 to 5 gamer himself Bami O to open a new gaming site and channel called “Save State Society” ( here soon as well. And we’re open with some great games and reviews. But that is going to take a lot to talk about, and I’ve got work to do there.

You’re here reading because this is about Words Don’t Do it Justice. The granddaddy of them all. Okay, the origin of them all. Three years in, and even though health wise I’ve dealt with issues. Professional life wise, I’ve had great forward steps but also set backs. Heck life in general being strange. After all that I’m proud of where we are. Where you’ve brought us. And so for the third time we come to the end of the hour. Where I say thank you without any reservations. Where for the third time ever, I get to step out of my role as Head Blogger, Editor, Podcast host, Lucremo, THE Ruthless Wonder, and everything that comes with it, and instead just talk to you as Matt Williams. We have a few reflection pieces and some alumni coming back to give us a piece. And we are going to celebrate all the way to my personal birthday on March 14th. But right now I’m just going to end by saying thank you all for bringing me and us from where we were to where we are and pushing us forward to where we are going next. As always Words Don’t Do YOU Justice.

“THE Ruthless Wonder” Matthew Elisha Williams

The WRATH of Ruthless Holiday Special: The Wrong Kind Of Progress

The WRATH of Ruthless is back!

Before our actual relaunch we got together for a Holiday special with a couple topics and some old friends.

The WRATH of Ruthless Holiday Special: The Wrong Kind Of Progress <-Click this and you can download or listen from our SoundCloud

Here you can listen from our soundcloud right here on WDDIJ. [soundcloud url=”″ params=”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false” width=”100%” height=”100″ iframe=”true” /]

hoetears IMG_25031 mad-max-fury-road-war-boys Bern really meme Marlon 120806_elizabeth_warren_605_ap 150401135040-donald-trump-gallery-8-super-169

CHICAGO - DECEMBER 01: Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) listens as President-elect Barack Obama introduces her as his choice for secretary of state during a press conference at the Hilton Hotel December 01, 2008 in Chicago, Illinois. Other members of the National Security Team named by Obama at the press conference include Washington attorney Eric Holder as attorney general, Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano as his choice for homeland security and he said Robert Gates would remain as defense secretary. Retired Marine Gen. James L. Jones was selected for the position of national security adviser and Susan Rice as U.N. ambassador. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Yes our Holiday Special is going to cover all of this.

Words Don’t Do It Justice: YOU are Forty Thousand Strong on our 2nd Anniversary

Just a reminder where we started.

Just a reminder where we started.

Words Don’t Do It Justice

“It was all a dream.

I used read word up magazine.”

I could keep going with that, but really I don’t feel like quoting too much of anyone else today. So let me address this with the style most comforting.

When this all began it was an idea.

The thought that we could give the world something in this blog that would be read by our friends, maybe a few co-workers and classmates. And every once in a while I’d get to deal with the issues I have to face on a daily basis by just ranting into a text window for 30 minutes to an hour and let the world read. Certainly if we accomplished that I would have called this a successful idea and when the view dwindled I’d close it up and say I had a good time.

But that isn’t what you did. And I say that isn’t what YOU did, because it is true. You are the reason this fun time didn’t turn into just another thing I used to do. YOU made it worth it to find Rufus, Ronin, Roddo, Rebellionista, Realistic Royalty, Princess Devy, Reign, The Revanchist, The Radical Ref, Carl McPhail, Xion, Driving Misty, Rhapsodic, Reason, Kudo, Rhythmic Journey, Revolution In A Jar, causeandeffect88, Bami O, Render Verdicts, Ruminated Thoughts, Keith Labell, Smooth Phuzion, Bree the V, TEH Bobbo, and all the people who wanted to commit but just didn’t have the time to write, be on the podcast, contribute music, or be interviewed.

That wasn’t just me plodding through on my own. That was you reading. That was you sharing. That was YOU telling the world our little corner of the internet was worth checking out. in the first year we did 3500 views. In 2 years we have done 40,000! Because of all of you. And now things are possible that weren’t not long ago. YOU made this happen. People asked me when I started what I expected. They asked me what I wanted. I just wanted people to listen to my thoughts sometimes. It was so simple back then. Now? Now I want the sky and everything beyond. lol just kidding.

Now I want to give you more of what you come here for. So covering Gaming, and other topics, We’re proud to announce that Nine To Five Gamer will be joining us run by Bami O. Look for the official page as well as forums soon. You’re going to read pieces from many of our alumni writers. And that long-awaited revamp/update to the site. I can’t promise you we’ll turn into a Super Villain run Huffington Post by tomorrow. Heck I can’t even promise that by next year. But I can promise we will keep hitting these hot topics with our cold analysis. I can promise we are committed to giving you what you came here for. And I can promise you I WILL NEVER FORGET what drives Words Don’t Do It Justice. Because what drives us is YOU!

My humanity wants to cry by my Super Villainy is smiling too hard and is too excited. Thank you all. THANK YOU. Every super fan. Every random reader Every casual person who checked us out a few times or just once. THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THIS FROM ALL OF US! We couldn’t have done all this without you. Words Do Not Do YOU Justice!

– THE Ruthless Wonder

Words Don’t Do It Justice: Breaking News

Just a reminder where we started.

Just a reminder where we started.

Over the weekend we were very close to an amazing achievement.

On Monday it was so tantalizingly close I was thinking of dropping a post just to help push it over after the Holidays Don’t Do It Justice post.

But Tuesday Night after Posts from Ruminated Thoughts and of course from THE Ruthless Wonder reacting to the decision by the Darren Wilson Grand Jury, we hit a milestone that if I’m honest I didn’t expect until 2015.


On Behalf of the Weekends Don’t Do It Justice Writers Reason, Kudo, Xion, and Lucremo.

On Behalf of the Words Don’t Do It Justice Guest Bloggers, The Justice League.

On Behalf of the Words Don’t Do It Justice Alumni writers

On Behalf of the Keith Labell and Smooth Phuzion who provide music for The WDDIJcast and The WRATH of Ruthless.

On Behalf of Reign, The Revanchist, Ruminated thoughts, and Ronin

And on Behalf of 314 Publishing, Imperial Dreams Productions, and WORDS DON’T DO IT JUSTICE

THE Ruthless Wonder is proud to announce that as of November 25th, 2014 Words Don’t Do It Justice has reached 9,200 views!

ALL Because of YOU!

ALL Because of YOU! Photo edit credit: JohnHenry Balsa

And we have you to thank.

Every one of you who shares us with you friends on facebook and your followers on twitter.

Every one of you who comes back even on days when no one has posted just to see if something is dropping.

Every one of you who has stuck by us since my very first post to this very day.

Thank you for being our superfans.

Thank you for believing in us.

Words do no do you justice.


I could say it a thousand times and it wouldn’t be enough. But I’ll say it one more time.

We love you all.

Thank you!


THANK YOU! Photo Edit Credit: Steven Cockrell

– YOUR Ruthless Wonder

Green Grass and Bright Lights – Lucrémo Episode 4: You can’t predict the future.

Jan. 9, 2014

So I got a call today from my agent. Apparently you wonderful people have been blowing his phone up and calling Exeter when we aren’t playing to make sure they don’t sell me. I love it. Really I do. And this season is going to keep being magical I promise. But trust in the owners, trust in the managers, Trust in the Fraternal Order or Fly Fellas to keep pushing harder and harder to get you the big wins. And don’t worry about the potential moves now or in the summer.

I wanted to make a fan’s wish come true for a second. Her mom sent me an email and said it would mean the world to her if I said her name in my video because January 10th is her birthday. Well I decided to put this out a day early just to make sure she can see it. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGGIE! What you and your mom don’t know though is I talked to the team, and they agreed to give you tickets to our next FA Cup match with Chelsea on February 1st. And so you can bring friends you’ll have 10 tickets!

One more surprise though.”

“Happy Birthday to you…”

“Happy Birthday tooooo yoooouuuuu…”

“Happy Birthday Dear Maggggiiieeee…”


We’ve got Reading coming up on the 15th Exeter, so we hope to see you there loud and proud. Peace Love and Lucrémo! 


Jan. 16, 2014

Alright gents, that first leg against Reading was good, and the last match against Oxford for the J Paint Trophy was stellar as well. But they are going to be paying a lot of attention this time. You have to expect to get the best punch. Everyone is watching, and Reading are hoping that they can get to you by reminding you that we have the end of the transfer market right before a match with Mourinho and “Cheatsea” Those are over a week away. TODAY guys. Today, we have a team we’ve beaten once in the first leg, I want you to go out and play smart. Look for the outside to in passing lines, play them rough and rugged. We shocked their subs and reserves. Now we’re getting the starting 11. And you can beat them. You’ve proven all year that you aren’t just some 5 a side club with some extra friends in on the weekends. Let’s do it again!

“What about Coles and Oakley sir?

They are going to be available in emergencies only. Same for you, I don’t want you pushing too hard and getting injured. If we have a late lead of more than 2 I’m pulling you for Parkin. And don’t give me any of that shit about not wanting him to spell you. It’s for your own good. You’re still growing.

Yes sir.

Now lads, Let’s GO!


3pm Friday January 31st, 2014

“Man we should get a bigger place.”

“I know what you mean, this is a great flat, but we should like get a house or something. You know really go big. I’ve saved up some money.”

“Yeah I think we all have. The bonuses these last 3 games have been huge. 5 goals against Watford between us, 3 the first time against Reading, all yours of course Julian, and then what 4 on Oxford and 5 more on Reading?”

“Yeah. We can get just about anything with that.”

“Let’s go look tomorrow though.”

“Yeah if we find something too big maybe we’ll talk any last-minute additions into joining us.”

“Oh yeah the window shuts tonight right? Can’t imagine they do something now since they haven’t all month.

You never know man, I mean 2 weeks ago who would have thought that Man U deal for Juan Mata would happen?


“Anyway let’s focus on Chelsea tomorrow.”

Let’s focus on a good meal. I’ll do the pasta.

I’ve got the veggies

So I’m on protein duty I take it?


Okay let’s do it.


Man that was great. 

 I know right?

We need more of that cheese though Matt.

I’ll call my uncle and have him get some when he comes up from Spain tomorrow.

He coming for the big match?



Terrence man what’s wrong? You look shocked from that phone call.

They just sold Shinji to Manchester City for 50 million dollars.


That’s what Reid and the other guys are saying. 

This is going to suck for tomorrow.

Well let’s get everything cleaned up and chill out. Everybody keep their phones on.


So who all do we know for sure now?

Miguel Angel Cancela García

Cedric Migiedi Mpembele 

Kim Yong Hwan

and Jack Butland

So those guys in and just Shinji out?

Yeah I guess it was a money thing.

I’m worried.

Why? They sold Shinji probably to be able to pay for the 3 of us going forward.

Or because he was demanding out behind the scenes.


So, if he was demanding out, and they’ve brought in 3 guys. Who’s to say they aren’t planning to sell one of us?

That’s crazy. The whole town watches your youtube. There is no point in doing that.

He’s right though. If this was a push and not a plan by the team any of us could be out. Everyone’s seen all 3 of us improve.

So we need a backup plan.


Okay what are the three teams we can all agree we are okay with joining and playing on together later if we get sold separately?


You realize Exeter bought me from there right?

Yeah I thought you might like to go back.

…or nah.

Okay where’s your pick?

hmmm somewhere that’s going to be fun, warm and has a name people could respect. How about Inter?

Okay, I like that. Inter is on the list.

Then its your turn bro.

Manchester United, not even a second thought.


Because they’ve been shit this year if we go there we would have a good shot at beating who they have in our spots, and we could be the boys who bring a Champs League title back to the Reds. 

Good point. Manchester United is on the list.

So Matt who’s it going to be? I mean we know it isn’t going to be B.

Barcelona. We should all go take over at Barcelona.

Are you still pissed that they signed Neymar and didn’t give you a deal?

Not really. Well about the Neymar part. The American Assassin comes home sounds good to me. And making them overpay to do it would be nice revenge for the shit treatment. Neymar cost 77 million dollars. I’m going to cost 100.

So it is settled what the list is. 

What order?

Well Inter probably has the least money but is the most fun location.

The best way to do it is like the big three on the Miami Heat did. So whoever gets to one of the 3 first, the other two come there.

We need a time limit. This could take forever otherwise.

Okay. 3 years if we aren’t at one of the 3 clubs in 3 years then we all go to the club we decide is first on the list.


So what’s first?

Barca. Best weather, close to the fun of Inter, and has money and prestige like Man U.

You realize if we do this we can’t tell anyone.


Sounds like we have a plan.




That’s the text alert. oh shit the team.

Okay now your face looks shocked.

I’m out.

Where are you going at 9pm the night before a game.

Nowhere. Its where I am going in the morning.

The pitch?

They just sold me.

So say no.

No Terrence, don’t say that. If they sold him then they didn’t respect us as a team. They didn’t appreciate what we were doing. And they didn’t see the value in the 3 of us. Why stay in a place like that? Who’d they sell you to?

Werder Bremen, I’m going back to Germany, as the enemy of my old team.

How much is the wage offer?

15k a week.

Take it.

But what about you guys?

We have a plan remember?

Yeah but what if you are still here tomorrow?

Then we’ll go kick Cheatsea’s ass for you and hand in transfer requests.

You mean it?

Hell yeah man. This isn’t right.

Let’s help you pack.

And then you guys go to bed. I want a win tomorrow popping up on my phone while I fly there for the announcement.


7am Exeter Airport

There he goes.

Yeah man it still doesn’t feel real.

I hear you bro, I hear you.

So what’s the plan now?

We find a roommate, we still move, and take absolutely no prisioners the rest of the season. We make ourselves too hyped to stay.and from there we keep with the plan.

You really think the plan will work?

Unless we get career ending injuries yeah.

So who could we move in with?

Well Jamie Reid is probably going to take Julian’s spot, so why not him? same age as you, and his lease is up soon I think.

Might even be up now, He was crashing with Keohane and O’Flynn

That must have been a nightmare for him.

Yeah so after the match we’ll talk to him.

Feb 15, 2014

Hey folks, I hope you like the new diggs. New place, new roommate, and new news…? I guess? So the Fraternal order of Fly Fellas got a new member recently. We moved out of the flat we were in and now have a house with our buddy Jaime Reid who’s been moved up to starting 11. Say hey man. Wave or something. haha it is going to take a bit to get him into our antics.

Anyway, you probably heard during our thrashing of Chelsea that Julian was sent to Werder Bremen. We’re all happy for him. It sucks for us at the house, but otherwise we love that he is being seen for the awesome player he is. 4 million for Lil Green is nothing to sneeze at. Jamie doesn’t have a nickname yet but give us time. And of course Shinji is gone as well now. 

But did you see this guy? 6 goals on Petr Cech! 6! Did you get a blood transfusion from Pele and Messi or something? Seriously people this guy is amazing!

Super T is leaving out the 2 more he tacked on. A humbler spokesman cannot be found. And of course I now am fully aware of how good Gareth Bale actually is in person after we nearly lost that US friendly against Wales. We needed that last goal, I’m just glad Julian is with me on the national team so he can lob in a cross like that to set me up. This summer. We aren’t coming to try to be okay. They keep calling it the group of death. Not for Uncle Sam’s army. I’ve got a true bold prediction. The World Cup final this year is going to have red white and blue flags on both sides. Netherlands v. USA. So you’ll get to see The Dutch Destroyer Terrence Kongolo versus The American Assassin for the greatest prize in sports. And whoever loses will be forced to wear a jersey dress and tiara with the pics posted on instagram so I know you’ll be paying attention. Next up is the League Capital One Cup Final with Liverpool. Cheer LOUD and be Proud Exeter. Peace Love and LUCRÉMO!

Green Grass and Bright Lights – Lucrémo Episode 3: Wunderkind?

Coach’s office


Yes coach?

While Julian is out I want you to really focus. You told me you’re healed up so I expect to see you take it to the next level. These next few matches aren’t all important so I’m going to save you for the cup matches mostly, but tomorrow I need you for as long as you can keep standing.

Yes sir.

I mean it.


Yes Matt?

If we’re up heavy will I get to stay in?

Of course. I want you really stretch into a late game. It’ll build your stamina.

Thanks coach. See you out there.

wunderkind paper


“Okay after a piece like that I’m never getting another red card man. Who the hell are we now? Shinji’s attendants? They were praising you last week. And they still aren’t mentioning how badass Terrence is.”

“Don’t worry guys, I’m a defenseman, that I’m not in the paper says more.”

“Better than all the promises about cards man, come help me beat Spain again. You got the letter. I know Klinsmann called again. Put on the colors man.”

“Matt has a point. Not to mention it could make you a lot of money and we could get out of this place into a better living arrangement.”

“Deal, but you’re buying the steaks this weekend T. We have to celebrate the new era in International futbol…”


Well folks it is that time again. And I get to break some news. Go buy your USA jerseys for my newest teammate…JULIAN GREEN!

Who cares about my various goals, or any of the other fun happenings here in Exeter. You heard it here first. Julian Green is joining the US men’s national team. Now let’s see if the manager picks him for the Spain match. I’d stay to talk more but that’s big news and Words Don’t Do It Justice. So I’m out for now. Peace Love and Lucrémo!

Saturday Night at The Arena

“So you guys are those footballers with the videos?”

“Yeah he is, we just like making fun of him while he does it, and he hates editing us out.”

“So forget all that, why don’t you come back to our place let’s keep the party going.”

“Can my other girls come with us?”

“How many of you all came along?”


“I like that number.”

“Why’s that?”

“That’s TJ’s number.”

“The Dutch Devil will be glad to say yes now.”

“Only if it is okay with you King Lucrémo”

“HAHAHA Ladies lets get out of here and party.”


November 23, 2013 – New York City, New York, USA

“So do you like being called Matt or Lucrémo?”

“Hahaha are you serious Zusi? I don’t know that I’ve earned the right to be called that by you guys.”

“After the last match you played in I’m sure the next group will be calling you captain.”

“Oh no, you’re Captain America Tim, I’m just the kid you guys help look like less of a schmuck. For confusion sake use it or I guess my middle name, Since there are two Matthews playing now.”

“So I have to ask. How did you convince Julian to switch?”

“We’re flatmates, we talked about it all the time. Finally it just seemed like a good idea to him. Now I may have made all the US squads on FIFA have him, and keep switching his wallpapers to an American flag but that’s it.”

“And I was tired of him getting free flights while I was stuck eating take-away in Exeter.”

“HAHAHA. Exactly.”

“FELLAS, Let’s focus!”

Klinsmann walks in like he might turn into an acoustic guitar player or yell at us angrily in German any second. He’s cool but intense, and today I’m not certain he isn’t going to do a bit of both. We’re riding high after the last time we trained and had a match together. Spain wanted a rematch, and we are about to see if lightning can strike twice. And I get to team up with Julian and Jozy Altidore. Graham Zusi wants to chat about something after dinner tonight so it might be about things from back home in Kansas City. Maybe Sporting KC is going to put a bid in? Man I gotta calm down and get into the zone. Where’s my Tech N9ne playlist?


Skype Call to TJ

“So we all start going out the exit to go to dinner and Graham is like “I think I’m buying this one for both of you, and in walks, swear to God Almighty himself, Thierry Henry.”

“And of course Matt turns into a hero-worshiping child before my eyes. Turns out he was there watching the match because of the last time when we played in Spain.”

“He motions to the 3 of us to come with him. and he’s got a car outside waiting. We finally stop and get out. Its Peter Luger‘s.”

“Turns out it is like half happy for you meal, and half checking up on this kid.”

“Whatever, we got to beat Spain again, get some crazy number of assists and goals and then free steak dinner with one of the best to put cleats on.”

Like I said hero-worship.

“So what was scoreline? The manager isn’t letting us watch it while we warm up for our friendly with Japan.”

“I got 2, Zusi got 1, Jozy got 2, and “The King” got a hat trick. And we basically split on the assists for all those goals, he got the assists for mine and Zusi, and I got them for one of his and both of Jozy’s. Another Spanish Shutout.”

“SHIT! I gotta go, Robin wants to address everybody before the Manager comes down. See you guys back at the flat.”

“Good luck bro!”


Dec. 8, 2013

Folks I have to tell you I am so glad that I play for an english team in this part of the country when winter really gets going. Nothing against the North, but I got a lot of cold winters as a kid back home in Missouri, and Spain did spoil me a bit on that. I know I’ve skipped a few games again, but I didn’t have a lot to tell you since I didn’t play until the Capital One Cup match Wednesday with Watford and the FA Cup match with Wolverhampton yesterday. You I’m sure saw the stats somewhere so I won’t go into them again. Plus it sounds really arrogant to talk about how I got two more hat tricks and 3 more assists while we beat both teams 5 nil. But I wanted tell you guys about all the rumors you are reading. 

Big secret it seems, but we read and hear that all the time. Super T is wondering if he’s going to get sold first with all of his clean sheets and tackles. I guess I should be worried, but I never get to spend a whole game on the pitch so I don’t think I’m going anywhere. Though I did love all the Please don’t sell my Lu Cre Mo, chants. And the amount of teasing in the locker room you caused will probably never go away. All of us except big bro Matt Oakley seem to be headed elsewhere now. He says he’ll probably retire at the end of the year, but for now no midfield worries. But yeah keep the cheering up for all of us, especially the Fraternal Order of Fly Fellas: Super T, Lil Green(DBZ Abridged is hilarious), and Peace Love and Lucrémo!


December 15, 2013

“You wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes Lucrémo, First I wanted to tell you we loved that last performance. You and Juilian and Shinji really worked them over, and your assist work has been stellar lately. What I wanted to talk to you about is the video blogging you are doing on youtube.”

“What about it?”

“Well the bosses and I are fine with it, but with the transfer window coming we’d like you to avoid talking about anything you hear and of course rumors in our locker room. It is okay to poke a bit of fun at the papers, but some things are strategic, even the rumors themselves.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well like yesterday’s J Paint Trophy match with Crewe Alexandra. Do you understand why there was a compliment about you from their manager?”

“To throw me off my game?”

“Yes, possibly, but also to see if you make yourself available. If you take the compliment, have a great game like you did. seriously, I don’t know where you find these goals let alone those 4 from yesterday. but anyway. If you do that and respond on your vlog about how nice it was to talk to him, maybe you ask for a transfer, and they can use that as leverage to get you away from us.”

“So you don’t want me to talk at all anymore?”

“No no no, keep going with it. My daughter’s love it. But just don’t give anymore official word.”

“You mean like when I got to announce that Julian was coming to the USMNT?”

“Not like it, but because of it. See now that you’ve done that you are probably being watched by all the sports news folks to see what else you let out. They may even start trying to pay you guys money for leads. And that can cause problems.”

“So you’re going to pay me to not talk basically?”

“Well don’t think of your goal bonuses as hush money. Think of them as a constant reminder that we know how amazingly special you are, and how important you are to not just the team, but to Exeter itself.”

Jan. 7, 2014 after the Bristol Rovers match

“Guys what the fuck?”

“Can it kid.”

“No fuck that. I’m dead tired because we had to play with 8 men for 40 minutes. I get it, you thought he red on Shinji was crap. I thought it was crap to, but you two knew this ref was being a prick and you still took guys down from behind. Its Bristol fucking ROVERS, there was never a question of if we were going to win. All you did today was make us look like bullies.”

“You’re not the fucking captain Matt.”

“Yeah and you barely deserve to be called that after that game, Coles. Unless you are going to tell me you have some long-standing beef with that guy, it was uncalled for and you fucking know it.

“What are you worried about? They’re going to sell you and your friend Julian to some big league club now that the window is open. Don’t act like you’ve been here since we got out of Conference Premier play.”

“If they sell me it won’t be because I put a request in.” 

“Yeah yeah, we’ll fucking see won’t we.”

“Another bullshit payback move that gets a red like that Parkin and you won’t be seeing for a while.”

“Did the teenager just threaten me?”

“I’m not afraid of guys taller and bigger than me, what makes you think I’d be afraid of you? Cut the crap so we can win, or YOU put in the transfer request.”

“Yeah Parkin. We’re with the kid.”

“You’re with the kid? Shinji’s going to PSG or Man City according to the papers, TJ to Bayern Munich, Julian to Monaco, and this kid you all are backing is going to have Manchester United Red on before this month is over. Don’t come crying to me when your temporary leader leaves you all behind. EVERYBODY leaves this team at first chance. He’s no different.”

“That’s where you are wrong, he is different. And yeah those new guys in the front office might just sell him off without him getting a say. But until that happens we are supposed to be helping build him up. We are supposed to work together. You guys could have caused us to lose out there. Down to 8 men? When he put us up 4 to nil I was still worried there might be an onslaught. Keep your heads in the game or find a new club. Or in Coles’ case, if you can’t hack that armband anymore hand it off and go find a new club.”


“Walking off in a huff just proves you’re a twat Parkin. Sorry about all that kid.”

“Sorry about how angry I was O’Flynn.”

Nah, you were right to be. This isn’t Parkin’s first time doing that after all. You okay? How’s your legs?”

“I could use a leg massage, and some ice. And probably a ride home honestly Keohane.”

“I would be happy to give the king and his roommates a ride.”

“HAHA, thanks asshole.”

“I am honored your highness.”

“HA whatever. Let’s grab some Chinese on the way. I’m insanely hungry.”