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And now… at the end of the hour

cropped-wordsdontdoit2-1.jpg

This week we debuted a brand new podcast with a livestream. We said goodbye to one of the founders. We tackled coons, and hoteps. As well as assault, and the HIV & AIDS treatment drug Truvada.

 

 

I skipped a couple lines to let that sink in.

When this started I literally just wanted to take my usual facebook ranting to a website. I figured it would be like the old days of my Xanga page. Now, now I deal with potential sponsors, have production meetings, worry about our average listening and reading time, and look for brand expansion.

I remind you, I was so bored in the last semester of law school I decided to make a blog to archive the things I would normally rant about on Facebook.

 

So you can understand that having gone from that place to now is rather…amazing if I’m honest. I had no idea. We’ve added and lost people over that time. But more than their contributions or mine, we’ve gotten to know a lot of you. As of this writing, 92,000 of you have come to get to know us over these 3 years of Words Don’t Do It Justice. And you must like it here, because you’ve dropped in 302,000 times.

300000

That is astounding. That is epic. And to think that it has all come before we put up a single ad, before we shilled a single product, without a marketing team, and mostly from the effort of our authors, and their friends and family who have additionally believed in us and shared us with other people.  I can’t tell you enough thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do. It really has made the difference.

What that means is even what I’ve done in the past year isn’t enough. I have to do more. And I am. While we lost a podcast co-host today, I’m proud to say we gained 2 new ones for our show Give No Quarter. While we have Reason on break for a while, I’m happy to say we will be launching Weekends Don’t Do It Justice as its own site (www.wkndlife.com www.weekendsdontdoitjustice.net www.weekendsdontdoitjustice.com). Look for a review of a hilariously bad movie coming over there soon from me.

Heck, go buy a shirt, phone case, hoodie or tank. https://www.teepublic.com/user/314publishing

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more. Click the photo to go straight to the store!

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more.
Click the photo to go straight to the store!

 

I’m also happy to say that I’m teaming with Mr. 9 to 5 gamer himself Bami O to open a new gaming site and channel called “Save State Society” (www.savestatesociety.com www.savestatesociety.net) here soon as well. And we’re open with some great games and reviews. But that is going to take a lot to talk about, and I’ve got work to do there.

You’re here reading because this is about Words Don’t Do it Justice. The granddaddy of them all. Okay, the origin of them all. Three years in, and even though health wise I’ve dealt with issues. Professional life wise, I’ve had great forward steps but also set backs. Heck life in general being strange. After all that I’m proud of where we are. Where you’ve brought us. And so for the third time we come to the end of the hour. Where I say thank you without any reservations. Where for the third time ever, I get to step out of my role as Head Blogger, Editor, Podcast host, Lucremo, THE Ruthless Wonder, and everything that comes with it, and instead just talk to you as Matt Williams. We have a few reflection pieces and some alumni coming back to give us a piece. And we are going to celebrate all the way to my personal birthday on March 14th. But right now I’m just going to end by saying thank you all for bringing me and us from where we were to where we are and pushing us forward to where we are going next. As always Words Don’t Do YOU Justice.

“THE Ruthless Wonder” Matthew Elisha Williams

The Letter Series: Dear Coons, Hoteps, Self Hating Negroes, & So-Called ‘Woke’ Folks

ConneryFirst, the disclaimer segment. I actually don’t like the term “coon,” don’t generally use the term “hotep,” disassociate myself from “self hating negroes” as soon as I possibly can, and I used to consider myself among the “conscious” aka “woke” folks back in the day when it wasn’t synonymous with being a pretentious, self-important dick. However, in this case I’m going to make an exception. Its funny how writing to one set of people seems to always require a message to their counterparts. Last week, I had to address the miseducated masses. This week, I’m addressing … well, actually… I guess the coons and them are probably still miseducated, but it’s more like a different side of the same coin. Let me splain…

Apparently, in addressing the miseducated, I somehow triggered reactions from people who should know these things, but prefer the bliss of ignorance. I refuse to believe that these people legitimately belong to the miseducated masses because they–the miseducated masses–drank the misinformation flavored kool aid while these fools are guzzling down the mystery flavor and calling it water. Even now I’m sitting here trying to explain and for the life of me I can’t fathom a logical parallel, a plausible simile, an appropriate metaphor that captures them because they are a mystery to me. I guess the people of The Jim Crow Museum explained it best:

The coon […] was not happy with his status. He was, simply, too lazy or too cynical to attempt to change his lowly position…” and “[…] were increasingly identified with young, urban blacks who disrespected whites.

The modern day coon is barely different. They’re still lazy and cynical, but they also justify their coonery with the actions of the self hating negroes that support a white supremacist agenda with the fervor and zeal of Uncle Ruckus at an Obama rally. Then come the hoteps and so-called conscious folk spouting their half truths and well formulated lies for the coons to drink up with the rest of the mystery kool aid like dietary supplements. I just can’t. I seriously fucking can’t.

Story time:

This dude called me out for posting all this “race stuff” because it adds to his already heavy load.Negro Protection Really dude?!? Will not seeing “race stuff” magically diminish the weight of your load as a Black man? Does ignoring reality make racism go away for you? Or are you just trying to get comfortable with the load you have? He went on to say “My issue is that hearing about police brutallity, discriminatory behavior, and similar human rights violations isn’t new nor special to me. I wake up to this alot. and in my mind it’s like “I can’t tell if people want to be informed or be pissed off and untrusting of white america? […] it feels like the race card is constantly being played because of something going wrong among black and white people.” Misspelling aside, I was reading what I knew were English words, but there was something about it that my brain just could not compute. I was sitting there looking at the screen like… “Wait, did he just… wait… what?”

It seemed like he was saying that people are posting about injustices just to have something to be upset about… because I guess the injustices are only upsetting because they get posted. It was as if the riots after the Rodney King beating or the riots in NYC after the murder of Jose Garcia. There was no social media back then, but I guess back then people were just looking for something to be upset about then too? I guess we have no reason to be “untrusting of white America.” I guess history and current events are no indication of a need for protest. See I don’t know which category this young man falls into, but I know whichever one he ascribes to is one that I needed to disassociate myself from with urgent haste. But before I did, I said the same thing I’m about to say to the rest of you:

OppressionDear Coons, Hoteps, Self Hating Negroes, & So-Called ‘Woke’ Folks;

I’m not reopening the conversation, I’m finishing it. This one picture in a series of pictures [floating around Facebook] explains why we can’t be friends… But I’ll be a bit more specific.

It is our job as Black people to remind everyone that racism is still a thing. It’s a heavy load we don’t get to put down. Ignoring it doesn’t make the load lighter, it just becomes a load we get accustomed to bearing. No, I don’t enjoy struggling. I don’t want to get used to carrying this load. I don’t want my load slightly diminished. I want it gone. And I don’t just want my load gone I want every oppressed person’s load gone. You on the other hand seem to want to just get comfortable with your load. You’re not going to get that being my friend. If you were a smoker, I’d point out the benefits of quitting and how little I think of smokers every opportunity I got. I’m the same way about racism, sexism, homophobia and other oppressive prejudices. And knowing how you feel, I’d likely go out of my way to add a new feather to your load every chance I got… Kinda like now… Because I guess I’m the kind of ass hole who doesn’t care about the discomfort of people who have gotten comfortable with their load.

Furthermore, if you and your ilk think that anything good will come of continuing to play the “I’m not that kind of Black” role; if you think that being a “good ol’ darkie” will make you seem The Answerlike less of a threat to the miseducated massed of white people you’d like to count among your friends and allies, remember that they will turn on you just as quickly as they have turned on ever other Black person who stepped out of their neat little box. Beyoncé wasn’t the first and she most certainly will not be the last.

We don’t deserve to be harassed ad brutalized just because we might “fit the description.” We don’t deserve to get beaten by cops for being belligerent. We don’t consider that an acceptable way to treat animals, why the hell is it okay to treat a human being that way? It isn’t. You shouldn’t be so willing to roll over and take it, if for no other reason than because when someone like me Requires Better of them, they shouldn’t be surprised.o we are not all the same, but they haven’t all earned that yet. Whitewashing yourself, isn’t going to make you any less Black. Standing up for the equal rights of ALL–yes, that includes the LGBT+ community, women, and all other people of color– will not diminish your Blackness. You are only less of a man if you can’t see that any oppression is an oppression worth standing against. WE ALL have to Do More and Require Better. All of us. No exceptions. And while you jack asses are busy posturing… puffing yourselves up like so many stuffed birds… claiming to be fed up with all this “race stuff” and wondering why people are still talking about it, I’ll be that ass hole plucking your proud feathers… helping to build the comfortable bed that your children will one day lay in, thankful that I insisted on Doing More and Requiring Better way back when.

With a Side-eye of Epic Proportions,Reign

RSI – Black Love: Part 2, Better Black Relationships

So in Part 1, I went in to the history of some of the psychology of where we are in Black relationships. Once again, when I talk about
“Black Love” and Black Relationships, I’m talking about any relationship that involves a Black person. I think it’s important that we can come to an understanding on this Black Love Wordspoint in particular because while there are so many messages out there that seem to suggest division and separation, I really do believe that we–all of us we–won’t get anywhere without each other. No revolution has ever been won without the help of sympathetic “outsiders.” The American revolution wouldn’t have been won without the French. The women’s movement wouldn’t have moved forward without the assistance of men. The LGBT (and whichever other letters have been added) community wouldn’t have gotten as far as it has without hetero help… and similarly, Black people and other people of color won’t succeed without White people. Somewhere out there, there’s an interracial couple at odds because they got together before the proverbial kitchen got hot. Maybe someone said something uninformed about The Black Panthers. Maybe someone got just a bit too passionate about police brutality. Either way the line was drawn then crossed, and the truth is out. If we can’t get to the core and come to a mutual understanding; where the people with privilege can acknowledge the whole situation and the rest of us can help them level out the playing field.

Anyway, I feel like knowing the history; the psychology of a behavior or thought pattern should make it easier to overcome. With that in mind, I went t the place where I was always told that women talk about relationships: the hair shop. Thanx to the ladies of Coco Hair Co. who who opened up and shared their perspectives on Black relationships. I have to say, I found myself apologizing on several
different occasions because I had to take things much deeper than the average “these n___s ain’t sh*t” conversation, and as the young folks say, they weren’t ready. They had to know about how we have been conditioned to mistrust each other… and that is, unsurprisingly, what it all really comes down to; trust &  security. Stop LyingThe answer to all of our woes, on every side of the conversation comes down to being able to trust each other, and from that trust, can we feel secure–emotionally, physically, financially, etc.–with each other. One young lady, who explained that she is not yet ready to be in a committed relationship explains that the bare minimum she should still be able to count on is that the dude(s) she’s dealing with is honest with her. She isn’t asking for exclusivity, only that she should know if/when he is seeing other women. Guys, I know, you probably don’t understand why she’d want to know. Have you ever seen how crazy a woman can get when she thinks the guy she’s seeing is seeing other women? Don’t you think he has a right to know what she might be getting herself into if one of your other women might find out about her and say… show up at her place of business or home starting trouble? So much drama can be prevented by simply making sure that all involved parties know what they’re getting in to. Common courtesy… common sense… common decency; not so common. She should also have the opportunity to make an informed decision as to whether or not she wants to continue her part of the arrangement. When you lie, you’re taking that option off the table. You get to hold the cards, and although you’ve shuffled the deck and changed the game, she still thinks you’re playing Crazy Eights when in fact you’ve switched to Poker.

Similarly, I’ve heard guys say all kids of things that suggest that some women are less deserving of honesty or “real”-ness; citing a woman’s choice of hair style or use of makeup almost as justification for misbehavior. I believe that men with this kind of thinking shouldn’t bother with relationships at all, least of all, Black relationshBlack Long Hairips. Guys, if you judge the content of a Black woman’s character by what she chooses to do with her hair, or how much time she seems to spend putting on makeup, you’re missing the point. No, I’m not saying that you should all go out and find the girl with the longest weave or the best contouring technique, but I am saying that a girl or woman’s cosmetic care choices shouldn’t diminish how you view her as a potential partner. What we do with our hair, nails, and makeup, if we choose to do anything at all isn’t always a superficial, political, or psychological decision… and it almost never really has anything to do with what you think its about. Using myself as an example, my more recent hair and makeup choices are about who I want to see looking back at me. I got all the way through high school without pimples, and now I have adult acne. As if I don’t look young enough I have to add acne to the mix? As far as my hair is concerned… that’s a bit more complicated. The simple version is that I most recently got it done, caving in to conservative society’s view of what is “acceptable” hair for Black women. I was angry about feeling forced into the style choice, and I’m still angry that participating in “their” world means that I can’t be authentic to my whole self. The take away from this segment should be that as women we have it hard enough, and as black women we have it that much harder. We shouldn’t have to add the disapproving commentary from our potential significant others to that list.

I’ve also heard that a girlfriend isn’t a wife so why should they bother making that effort? I’m equally disgusted when women make similar exclamations as if the absence of a ring decreases the level of pain inflicted by a broken heart. Stop. No seriously: Stop. That Not How This Worksisn’t how it works, and shame on you for acting like you’d be okay with someone lying to, playing with, or cheating on you claiming that the ring makes the difference. As a matter of fact, I’ll go as far to say that being “cheated on” by someone you’re cheating with or are “just f*cking” will still make you feel some kind of way. Which brings us full circle and back to the ladies at Coco’s. They provided a pretty simple list of what they’s really want from a man: Honesty, Accountability, Communication, and the ability to “handle” being with them. Now, that last one is the hardest thing on the list, but that’s what dating is for: figuring out if that person is someone you can handle. This short list isn’t too much to ask for. Like I said last week, we don’t necessarily need a significant other as a provider anymore. Further Black relationships in America have never even allowed for lack men to be providers. What we do need is a partner. Someone who provides emotional support and balance in a world where the struggle is real and constant and everyone just needs to be reminded that there is more to life than the daily grind. There’s love.

Do More for love. Require Better from lovers.

RSI 101 – Black Love: Part 1

Black Kids Cheek KissThis is probably going to be a really long piece for a lot of reasons. I want to talk about love, about relationships, about being black in relationships (aka Black Love)… and further, after having done a recording wherein I barely touched on everything I want to say tells me that this needs to be a 2, maybe even 3 part discussion.  I have a feeling that some of my readers/listeners are going to feel alienated because much of this is going to be Black People specific, but remember, its Black history month, I’m Black, and as far as I’m concerned, some conversations are just to important to be PC about. Which reminds me…

About this Black history month thing: It shouldn’t be thing… more specifically, it shouldn’t have to be a thing. Black history, as we in the US commemorate it, is American history. It should be a part of the history curriculum. It should be included in English, Literature, and Reading lessons because we have there are Black American writers. Slavery and racism should as be openly and HONESTLY discussed as the Civil War and Abraham Lincoln. Little Black girls ad boys shouldn’t be relegated to only learning about people who look like them during the shortest month of the year. It shouldn’t be that Blackness is only open for discussion in 30 second video clips before commercials. February shouldn’t be the only month people are encouraged to cram all of their/our appreciation of Blackness into. Just like people should be aware of breast cancer and heart disease all year, so should Black people, and our experience.

V Day ChocolateSimilarly, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t have to be a thing. We shouldn’t need a specific day to remember to show appreciation to our significant others. Further, the media should be ashamed of themselves for suggesting that men need to spend exorbitant amounts of money and women simply need to supply the sex to show appreciation for our significant others. Unfortunately, if it wasn’t for Valentine’s day, many wouldn’t get to know they were appreciated until something bad happened in the relationship…. because who really remembers Anniversaries anyway? Many married men would have to wait for God knows how long for their wives to remember that lingerie can be more enticing than comfy pajamas, or that men deserve to feel special too.

Now let’s combine this and get to what I really want to talk about: Relationships. Black Love & HappinessNow, if you’ve been reading me since the beginning, you’ll know that I don’t like giving romantic relationship advice… I will, but I don’t generally like to. This time I’m going this because there are people on my feed and in my family who have thoughts ad questions, that I think deserve a attention. First, history and upbringing… as they relate to Black Americans. Up front, I think it bears mentioning that a lot of what I am making Black people specific, is actually universal, thus, if you’re not Black, and reading this, you might still be able to relate.

All the messages we receive put us at odd with one another. As men and women, regardless of sexual orientation, romantic relationships are painted in hard and violent colors. There’s a battle for dominance; a question about who wears the pants in the relationship, that just makes things difficult.

Time to dig deep…

Back in the day, marriage was a form of ownership. Women, having no rights of their own, or value other than their ability to bear children and tend to the house were basically sold into servitude by their fathers to their husbands, or their husband’s family (depending on the age). Is it really any wonder that since the day women started working outside the home (because parenting and housekeeping is work) that a functional dynamic of relationships has been difficult to maintain? I’ll go deeper. Black women in You Don't Deserve HerAmerica have always worked outside the home. Whether it was raising the master’s children, picking the cotton, cooking, cleaning… slaving in general was work. And then they had to go to wherever the slaves slept, and work more for their own families. Although white women were undervalued in their homes, they could at least count on the protection of the men in their lives. Black women could not; Black women had to bear the brunt of all of the abuse, the rape, the indignity, knowing that no one would be coming to save her… not her father, brothers, or even her husband.  Her mother or sister might be able to offer herself up to the master to offer a reprieve, but it wouldn’t be man, at least not if he valued his life… not if he didn’t want to risk being sold to another plantation. Throughout history, women have had to do the parenting thing alone. Men were off hunting, fighting wars, and forging frontiers. Even when they were around, they were mainly there for sex and food. They gave women more work to do. I’m not trying to diminish the value of having a man in the home, I’m simply saying that not having a man at the home isn’t a new thing either. The value of male-female companionship didn’t actually come into play until much later.

Now, I can already hear some of you saying “That was then, this is now Reign… time to move on Reign.” But see, if you look at where we are in relationships now, where we have to be specific about “Black Love”–as if love isn’t complicated enough–especially with the women’s movement having given rise to messages that tell men that we, women, don’t need them, I want you to really understand
where that comes from. So where am I going with this?  Simple: women don’t need men… LOL… Okay, no, that isn’t where I was Storm Black Panther Kissgoing, but  had to say it. Because we don’t need men the way we needed them back then. Like all women, we need companionship. We need partnership. We need bed warmers. We need someone to be special to. Yes, we need you. The feminist movement, while I still consider myself a proud feminist, got that message wrong, or at least incomplete. More specifically, as a Black woman, I have to speak directly to the need for Black men. The complaint about Black women being too hard, too independent, too masculine… if you look at the history, you’d understand that we didn’t have a choice, and that being penalized for it is an injustice that is still prevalent in Black relationships today. Not just as companions–straying from the romantic element of relationships for this–but as partners in the struggle. When we are agonizing about #BlackLivesMatter, the people who understand through experience are Black men. The man you are least likely to have to explain why and how racism is still a problem for you personally, even if you never stepped foot in the hood, is a Black man. When being a “strong black woman” was in style and it got mixed in with the feminist movement, the message got twisted, everything fell apart, and the idea of Black love became a novelty. It became more about devaluing men and their role in our lives, and less about empowering women. Suddenly, “taking care of home” was a weak woman’s job; a white woman’s job. The rhetoric about men being unnecessary, more specifically how Black men “ain’t shit” became more important than strong families. I’ll ask this: What’s the point of being a strong Black woman if all you let yourself see are weak men?

At the same time, men were hearing all those messages too; and the message was loud and clear. So why are we surprised when they
fell back on their role as men? Why shouldn’t they have switched to only focusing on what they need us for? If we don’t need them to do the right thing, why should they? What’s their incentive? They’re told they aren’t necessary, but they’re still expected to pay for the dates, pay the bills, be physically present in their children’s lives–technically a new requirement–and sometimes the lives of children that aren’t theirs, be emotionally and financially stable, be able to fix stuff around the house, be educated, committed, and faithful… and in return, they might be able to look forward to sex. Where’s the equality in that? Where is the love in that? Since we’re out working, they can’t expect a cooked meal when they get home. They can’t expect well raised, respectful children who understand the value in patience and perseverance over the acquisition of things and instant gratification. They can’t expect anything because like the song says, “we run this.

I’m the kind of feminist who actually believes in equality, only with a realistic twist… Love Never Failsbecause we aren’t equal; not in all things. There are some things that should be exclusive to men, just like there are some things that are exclusive to women. Allowing this dynamic to break down; allowing the incomplete messages to corrupt the fundamentals is one major component to why relationships, specifically relationships between Black people, has become so difficult. Unlike most other racial groups, there’s a lot more to Black love than just love… and I have a lot more to say about it…

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/246460791?secret_token=s-UC52z” params=”auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”100″ iframe=”true” /]

I know that was long (especially on top of all this)… and I have even more to say about it. So come back next week for Black Love, Part 2.

In the mean time, Do More, Require Better.

What Are We?

Welcome to the Secret Thoughts of Reason…

what are we 5

Why is it that men get so freaked out when a woman asks, “What are we?”

What exactly is it about the words “What are we?” that send you into a frenzy?

Does the word “we” equate to “marriage” or “life-long partner” or maybe you hear the word “forever”.

While I cannot speak for every woman, I will speak for the sound ones….

When a woman asks, “What are we?”….She only wants to know what is occurring between you AND her.

For example:what are we1

Are “we” friends?

Are “we” dating?

Are “we” just hooking up?

Are “we” friends with benefits?

 

“What are we ≠ When are you going to propose because I want to get married NOW.”

Women simply want to know what KIND of relationship is taking place.

Why do we need to know?

Well…

Some women… do want to get married NOW, so if you are only looking to “hook” up, she needs to know VERY EARLY on because she now needs to make a decision about whether or not to continue this relationship when she knows you and her DO NOT HAVE THE SAME OBJECTS.

Some women… want to be friends with benefits. For whatever reason she does not want a long term relationship, she just wants your company & your equipment ;). So if you are looking for something more permanent, she doesn’t WASTE YOUR TIME NOR HERS.

Some women…. what to be just friends. They know they want something more in the future, it MAY OR MAY NOT be with you, but FOR NOW she just wants to be your friend. Now I am not talking about the “friend zone” [where we know this guy would never be anything more than just a friend], what I mean is a person who is of the opposite sex who MAY potentially turn into something more in the future.

Lastly, some women… want to just “hook up”. They do not want your friendship or your companionship, JUST YOUR equipment. I know that may be a hard pill for some to swallow, but some women CAN just HAVE SEX and not want anything more in return.

Why am I going on this rant?what are we2

Because I hate that women feel they cannot ask the dreaded question, “What are we?” because she doesn’t want the man to think she is a psycho stalker who wants his hand & his seeds [hand = marriage].

I hate that we choose to stay in limbo and not know what is going on rather than just ask the simple question.

It’s annoying…

So, my men, my beautiful, sexy men…DO NOT assume that when a girl asks “What are we?” that she wants you to “put a ring on it”.

I know there are “crazy, stalker, I’ve only known you for a week & I’m in love & wanna have your baby” women out there, and it is, sometimes hard to distinguish them from the sound ones (no offense to those type of women)…

BUT, what I am saying is, men, while there is that kind of woman out there & you don’t know which woman falls into which category, I simply want you to keep an open mind if & when you hear the words, “What are we?”

Practice these instructions at home so that when the time comes you are prepared & do not freak out!

  Instructions:

  1. Take a deep breathwhat are we 4
  2. Pause
  3. Remember this post!
  4. Open your mouth & say (or if you are texting…text): “Well we are______)
    1. Insert your INTENSIONS in the blank
    2. Don’t panic here are some examples:
      1. We are just friends
      2. We are getting to know each other & maybe something more will come later
      3. I’m not looking for anything serious right now
  5. Then wait for her to respond
  6. Don’t forget to breathe while she is talking!
  7. Listen to what she is saying
  8. Now the hard part: determine if your INTENTIONS match her INTENTIONS

I believe if you follow these simple instructions EVERYONE’S life would be so much easier.

what are we3

Don’t worry men, I have a post to address the women as well, where I will instruct them to SAY WHAT THEY MEAN…

Thanks for listening….any comments, questions comment below!

Check out my last post Louise! And one of my “controversial” post Angry Black Queen!

The WRATH of Ruthless Holiday Special: The Wrong Kind Of Progress

The WRATH of Ruthless is back!

Before our actual relaunch we got together for a Holiday special with a couple topics and some old friends.

The WRATH of Ruthless Holiday Special: The Wrong Kind Of Progress <-Click this and you can download or listen from our SoundCloud

Here you can listen from our soundcloud right here on WDDIJ. [soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/239005820″ params=”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false” width=”100%” height=”100″ iframe=”true” /]

hoetears IMG_25031 mad-max-fury-road-war-boys Bern really meme Marlon 120806_elizabeth_warren_605_ap 150401135040-donald-trump-gallery-8-super-169

CHICAGO - DECEMBER 01: Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) listens as President-elect Barack Obama introduces her as his choice for secretary of state during a press conference at the Hilton Hotel December 01, 2008 in Chicago, Illinois. Other members of the National Security Team named by Obama at the press conference include Washington attorney Eric Holder as attorney general, Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano as his choice for homeland security and he said Robert Gates would remain as defense secretary. Retired Marine Gen. James L. Jones was selected for the position of national security adviser and Susan Rice as U.N. ambassador. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Yes our Holiday Special is going to cover all of this.

Angry Black Queen

Welcome to the Secret Thoughts of Reason…

 

I was at subway the other day and I saw a black man waiting in line to place his order, and my first thought was: where are these subway workers? They need to hurry up and come serve my black man. No, I did not know this man, I had never seen him before, but he was still a black man…my black man. No later than a few seconds later something happened inside of me that I cannot explain. My thought changed from this is my black man and they need to hurry up and serve him…to…you know what, this isn’t my black man, it’s probably some white woman’s black man. I don’t care if they hurry up or not. Keep his ass waiting…

I know what you’re thinking…well that escalated quickly.

And it did.

I’m not sure why I felt like that, but afterwards when I really started to think about it, I realized why, but we’ll get to that later…

The reason that feeling was such a shock to me was because I was exactly the opposite of that woman. I have always been a woman who loved her black men. And I don’t even know if I can explain it to you, but there is something about a black man that no other race has. Maybe I’m biased but that’s always been my truth. No one taught it to me, I just always knew…that was my truth. A black man’s essence cannot be explained, it cannot be drawn in a picture, or written in words in a book. The only way I can describe it to you is to say, when I see my black men my soul is at peace. My entire being is at a place of rest because I know he is mine and I am his. Because I know the struggles he has had to endure and STILL has to endure on a daily basis. Because I see every tear that has fallen from his face, even when he has never shown them to anyone. Because I see the scars that are permanently engraved not only on his body, but in his heart and his mind. Because we are one.

 

 

I could go on…but I won’t. The point is I have always been a “ride or die”, I have your back and your front type of woman. The woman who saw every black man as her husband, her brother, her father, her son. I have always been that way…until now…

Now I don’t know what I am…

I don’t know who I am with regards to my black men…

 

Now when I look at my black man all I see is conformity and betrayal. He no longer wants to be the black man his mama raised him to be, but the black man who turns his back on the ones who were always here from the beginning and who will be here in the end…black women.

But will we still be there…in the end…

 

 

Because there will be an end. There will be a time when all you have is us. When all you can depend on is us. When all you can call on, is us. Why? Because no one can be loyal to you the way a black woman is loyal to you. Why? Because no one understands you like we understand you. No one. Because only we have been through the valleys you have been through. Only we have drowned in the same oceans that you have been drowned in. Because only we have been hung in trees beside you…

Shit.

Let me step a little outside of my feelings so I can write this….give me a moment…

Ok…

The black men that I have loved. That I have sacrificed for. The men whom I have pledged my alliance to, below only God. The men whose diapers I have changed. Whose hair I have combed. The black men who I have put my life on hold to build up and encourage. The ones whom I have been a stepping  stool so that you could be lifted up, and reach the things that you could not have reached otherwise.

You black men turn around, once you have reached the top and you look down on your footstool and spit on her. You tell her she must be lighter in order to be beautiful. You tell her she must have hair that sweeps her butt to be counted. You tell her, her eyes must be the color of the ocean in order to be worth gazing into. Or you tell her that her butt must be as big as a globe and her breast like watermelons…BUT her waist small. That she must wear extensions to look more like them so that you may see her…your stepping stool.

I know that many of you have never actually uttered those words…but you did much worse…you’ve lived these words.

Now I am not talking about those black men who only grew up around white or mixed people and so they ended up with them. I’m not talking about black men who just fell in love and did not see color. I encourage people to not see color and just see people…see love.  I will repeat myself again: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ALL BLACK MEN WHO DATE OUTSIDE OF THEIR RACE. I am ONLY talking to the ones who refuse to even look at a woman because she is too dark or her hair too coarse.

I’m talking about the black men who say things like: I only talk to white girls…and there’s no logical reasons behind it other than you wanna show the white man that you can now have his women and not be hung….whether you realize this unconscious declaration or not. I’m talking about the black men who say I only date light skin girls with curly hair as if beauty is defined by one shape or color.

What does your mother look like ignorant, ungrateful black man?

What does your sister look like?

Your aunt?

Your grandmother?

The women who have surrounded you and loved you and cared for you like no other woman can or would.

Do these women all have light skin? Do they have blue or green eyes? Do they have long straight or curly hair? Are they white?

No.

Because I have noticed it’s the black men whose mothers ARE dark skinned and coarse haired who always scream from the roof tops…I want a woman who doesn’t look like you!

What are you running from? Your mother? Yourself?

You don’t want your children to look like your mother or your sister…because they aren’t beautiful……enough?

So from me thinking about these things a few days ago, I came to the conclusion that I am done with black men. I am done being there for you. I am done having your back. I am done fighting for you and searching for you. I am done being your stepping stool. I hope the white or mixed woman you love and adore so much will be willing to be your footstool so you can reach the top…I really doubt it though.

And for those of you who may say, well we never asked you to do any of that. No, you didn’t. But it was our job. As black women. To hold you up, to build you up. A job that we loved and cherished. A job we were pleased to do. Because you were ours and we were yours.

Anyway, that’s where I was…a few days ago.

Then I saw some things and heard some things that made me feel like maybe there was still hope for my black men. So while I am still very irate. Still betrayed. Still hurt. Still literally crying. I am choosing to believe in you. In us.

Reason - Egyptian Queen

 

 

But I won’t believe forever…