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Decorum Deficiency Disorder: F*ck Humility

February was a good month, and it’s looking like March is going to be good too. Yes, this is me tooting my own horn… because f*ck humility. Yesterday (which is today for me) Facebook remembered that March 8th is international woman’s day, and that the whole of March is Women’s History Month. Today being the socially acceptable day to talk about this sort of thing, I’m preempting a piece that I’ve already postponed for a month in favor of Blackness, love, relationships, and “race stuff” in favor of  Yep; it was a good month and I’m riding the wave.

They make songs about how much more attractive a girl can be when she doesn’t act like she knows she attractive. It seems to be a widely known fact that humility is a desirable trait in a woman. People talk about humility like it’s a virtue worth practicing. Humble people are nice to be around because they don’t make you feel like less than you are, other than guilty for not seeming as humble as they are. Let’s take a deeper look…

Humility defined

Humble:
adjective, humbler, humblest.
1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2. having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.
3. low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.
4. courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are Humble definitionwrong
5. low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.
verb (used with object), humbled, humbling.
6. to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.
7. to destroy the independence, power, or will of.
8. to make meek

When I look at the definition of humility, it’s no wonder that I’ve ever understood why any sane person would consider humility a good characteristic to emulate. You mean to tell me that even when someone is clearly drenched in awesomeness, they’re supposed to act like they aren’t? And to what end? As if anyone every really likes watching someone acting like they’re less awesome than they are. Here’s an example: Have you ever talked to someone who you think has it all (great life, family, career, finances, home, things, etc.) and hear them talking shit about their life as if you didn’t just see them tip the valet with a 50 dollar bill. Sure, they’re being humble… but their humility seems more like an insult than an equalizer.

You know what they call a confident Woman? A bitch. You know what they call a confident man? A leader. As far as I can tell the idea of humility is one of those things that has only truly served rich men. Disclaimer: I’m not saying that there aren’t any difficulties that come with not being humble or that all seemingly confident men…. you know what, fuck this disclaimer shit too. If you don’t know that there are levels and layers to this and that I’m primarily addressing one aspect of it here because this would end up being a 5 hour dissertation on life and how much it sucks… then stop reading and go back to watching kitten videos on YouTube; This is not meant for you.

Certificate of HumilityAnyway, it seems to me that back when they were writing the so-called holy books, they decided that the best way to keep people in line; to keep people in their places was to convince them that vows of poverty and acts of humility were among the highest forms of piety. In doing so, they could demand levels of obedience and unquestioned subservience that they probably couldn’t have gotten otherwise. Further, they depicted women as inherently unclean and thus even more susceptible to sin and temptation of the flesh, they suggested even stricter penalties and even higher standards piety. Of course I could say that this is all just a theory, but unfortunately, history supports my thesis.

Since our expectations of people, and–for the purpose of this piece–women in particular, hasn’t evolved to fit the construct of modern society, we’re left with a relatively useless standard of humility that mostly serves as another way to diminish women’s willingness to require things like equal rights, respect, and higher pay. We might make better students, we might work harder and be better team players, but having been programmed to be humble, we’re less likely to demand things like raises or interfere when men are making decisions that are counterproductive or inefficient.

So fuck humility. I say claim your awesomeness. I remember back when I was getting my real estate license. I took the class and the test with a then romantic interest. He didn’t think studying or reviewing notes was a valuable use of his time. I remember how angry he got with me when he didn’t pass. Not with the test, not the instructors, but with me. I didn’t even get to celebrate my success because it might further damage his fragile ego. Almost 10 years later and I still kick myself over it. I should have celebrated. I should have focused on my success instead of trying to make him feel better about his failure. It didn’t stop him from resenting me. It didn’t make him appreciate my effort or make him try harder to succeed. Ego stroking doesn’t accomplish anything other than inflating egos that should be left to their own devices. If the only way for one person to feel good about themselves is for you “to lower [yourself] in condition, importance, or dignity” then that isn’t someone you should keep in your life. Your goal should be to surround yourself with people who encourage you to Do More & Require Better… and then celebrate your successes. Fuck Humility. 

And now… at the end of the hour

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This week we debuted a brand new podcast with a livestream. We said goodbye to one of the founders. We tackled coons, and hoteps. As well as assault, and the HIV & AIDS treatment drug Truvada.

 

 

I skipped a couple lines to let that sink in.

When this started I literally just wanted to take my usual facebook ranting to a website. I figured it would be like the old days of my Xanga page. Now, now I deal with potential sponsors, have production meetings, worry about our average listening and reading time, and look for brand expansion.

I remind you, I was so bored in the last semester of law school I decided to make a blog to archive the things I would normally rant about on Facebook.

 

So you can understand that having gone from that place to now is rather…amazing if I’m honest. I had no idea. We’ve added and lost people over that time. But more than their contributions or mine, we’ve gotten to know a lot of you. As of this writing, 92,000 of you have come to get to know us over these 3 years of Words Don’t Do It Justice. And you must like it here, because you’ve dropped in 302,000 times.

300000

That is astounding. That is epic. And to think that it has all come before we put up a single ad, before we shilled a single product, without a marketing team, and mostly from the effort of our authors, and their friends and family who have additionally believed in us and shared us with other people.  I can’t tell you enough thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do. It really has made the difference.

What that means is even what I’ve done in the past year isn’t enough. I have to do more. And I am. While we lost a podcast co-host today, I’m proud to say we gained 2 new ones for our show Give No Quarter. While we have Reason on break for a while, I’m happy to say we will be launching Weekends Don’t Do It Justice as its own site (www.wkndlife.com www.weekendsdontdoitjustice.net www.weekendsdontdoitjustice.com). Look for a review of a hilariously bad movie coming over there soon from me.

Heck, go buy a shirt, phone case, hoodie or tank. https://www.teepublic.com/user/314publishing

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more. Click the photo to go straight to the store!

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more.
Click the photo to go straight to the store!

 

I’m also happy to say that I’m teaming with Mr. 9 to 5 gamer himself Bami O to open a new gaming site and channel called “Save State Society” (www.savestatesociety.com www.savestatesociety.net) here soon as well. And we’re open with some great games and reviews. But that is going to take a lot to talk about, and I’ve got work to do there.

You’re here reading because this is about Words Don’t Do it Justice. The granddaddy of them all. Okay, the origin of them all. Three years in, and even though health wise I’ve dealt with issues. Professional life wise, I’ve had great forward steps but also set backs. Heck life in general being strange. After all that I’m proud of where we are. Where you’ve brought us. And so for the third time we come to the end of the hour. Where I say thank you without any reservations. Where for the third time ever, I get to step out of my role as Head Blogger, Editor, Podcast host, Lucremo, THE Ruthless Wonder, and everything that comes with it, and instead just talk to you as Matt Williams. We have a few reflection pieces and some alumni coming back to give us a piece. And we are going to celebrate all the way to my personal birthday on March 14th. But right now I’m just going to end by saying thank you all for bringing me and us from where we were to where we are and pushing us forward to where we are going next. As always Words Don’t Do YOU Justice.

“THE Ruthless Wonder” Matthew Elisha Williams

The WRATH of Ruthless: Saying Goodbye to Ronin

For Ronin’s last episode on the show, the cast of The Wrath of Ruthless says goodbye their way. With a hardcore topic, some good information, and of course plenty of jokes and references.

Joining THE Ruthless Wonder as always is joined by Producer Princess Devy, and one more time by Ronin.

The Imperial Dreams Interview Series: Occupy Democrats Founder Omar Rivero

The Imperial Dreams Interview Series

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The Imperial Dreams interview series returns with The Wrath of Ruthless host, The Ruthless Wonder sitting down for an interview with Occupy Democrats’ founder Omar Rivero. You can download or listen via Sound Cloud below.

The WRATH of Ruthless: A Double Dose of this Podcast

Double Dose of Ruthless Radio

Sometimes an episode gets lost in the shuffle of schedules and audio issues. Last week it happened again, so we shortened this week’s podcast in order to make sure we could bring you TWO count them TWO full episodes of The Wrath Of Ruthless. Below you’ll find our newest episode on Alimony Equality, and then below it our episode that should have aired last week on who should be telling the stories of a culture in the aftermath of FOX Searchlight’s purchase of Nate Parker’s Birth Of A Nation.

Don’t forget to check out our Storefront on Tee Public and support the podcasts and this website by buying a shirt, tank, hoodie, kids shirt, baseball tee, or phone case.

https://www.teepublic.com/user/314publishing

 

 

Decorum Deficiency Disorder: Redundant Much?

B + Y Broken RecordListening to this one–now months later–I feel myself getting just as pissed off as I was the morning I recorded it. First, its been months now, as opposed to weeks, but I have read over several of my pieces–and other WDDIJ pieces–since this was recorded. There are more than a few recurring themes. It seems like everywhere I turn, I read and see more of the same. It’s like the world has become a broken record. Police abusing power, people with guns killing people without them, protestors protest injustices, the public moves on to the next big thing, rinse, lather, repeat. I guess that’s why they call it a “news cycle:” because it just keeps going… a seemingly endless cycle of redundant happenings.

I’m still tired of repeating myself. However, someone new might be listening or reading. Record Age PassedI might say things differently or use a different example that drives the point home for the same person who read me but didn’t see what the big deal was the last time I said it. I’ll never know who is listening when, or if it’s finally their turn to legitimately understand my point. So I can’t stop commenting on the issues, regardless of how redundant I think it has become. The conversation is necessary. All of the conversations are necessary. Thus, I will continue harping on the selfish ass hats who insist on shooting up schools and movie theatres. I’ll continue ranting about how shitty the media–and really the world–is about properly representing people of color. I’ll keep sounding off at groups of people and large entities in angry letters. I will keep the lines of communication open.

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Redundant = Fixing the RecordHowever, just having the conversation isn’t enough. There’s a reason I with “Do More, Require Better.” We have to Do More in an effort to make the differences necessary to effect them change we want to see in the world. We have to Require Better of ourselves and those around us because we are the summed total of every person, place and thing we encounter. Holding ourselves to high standards put us in a better position to lead by example.

So, here’s the question of this day: You with me?

Either way, the objective as always: Do More. Require Better.

Go Ahead and Cry

I wanted to type up a quick entry on mourning celebrities, see below.

-Rhapsodic

Go Ahead and Cry

This past week has borne witness to the loss of two luminary talents: David Bowie and Alan Rickman. If you have any presence in social media (and, let’s face it, you would probably not be reading this if you didn’t), you’ve likely seen reactions ranging from muted sadness to stunned disbelief to the kind of grieving you see for a family member. I’ve also seen people scolding others for their grief reactions, saying it’s not “natural” to grieve someone you may never have met. I don’t feel this is fair. This disregards the way media influences us.

Let me explain in more detail.

Relative to the entire population of the United States in 1863, very few people personally knew President Abraham Lincoln. When he was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, however, he was mourned on a nearly universal scale. Pilgrimages were made to view his funerary train, and thousands of people held prayer vigils and visited his coffin to pay their respects while he lay in state. The same holds true for the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. National figures are revered, regardless of their personal relationship (or lack of one) to the mourner.

Now, let’s look at the experiences of those who live in our modern age. We see and hear the icons of pop culture as they entertain us. We enjoy their art, so we pursue it by reading and watching interviews, editorials, and eyewitness accounts of their behavior. When you mark this against the majority of the people we know in real life, the experience creates the illusion of a personal relationship between ourselves and our idols.

This can be negative, absolutely; some folks lose track of the line between fantasy and reality, and the result is the stalkerazzi culture that demands unflattering photos, reactions, and sound bites, as well as fans turning up on the front doorstep of frazzled celebrities. On the other hand, as people have often stated this week, a celebrity can inspire people to express themselves, can nudge them to a more authentic life by being shocking, by being an advocate for the under-represented–gay, black, transgendered, and otherwise “different”–or by being the anti-hero who still managed to touch your heart.

The impact of having that kind of idol, of role model, cannot be understated. The power of celebrity means that the individuals who dare to be different and dare to be flawed and human, and still find a way to succeed, will inspire a new generation to be even more daring, more authentic. That is not to be dismissed. That is to be honored, and the loss of these pioneers absolutely should be mourned. Anyone who paves the way for a new and more authentic generation of artists should be respected, and their fans should be given the latitude and freedom to grieve however they see fit.

So please, do not scold them. Even if you do not understand the compulsion yourself, it is real to them. Let them take care of themselves and each other. And if you’re one of the mourners, play the records, watch the films, and know your tears are justified.