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And now we come to…the end of an era

Today, oddly enough was supposed to be the pay off FINALLY for a number of posts about relationships that I thought might be better than all my previous ruthless on relationships post. And indeed I’ll get to that later.

 

Instead,

Today is a day I bring us to a place I knew could happen, but was happy every time it didn’t. Today we end the hour for the last time. What do I mean? Today is the beginning of a goodbye party. For this blog. Oh it will continue to exist, but a transition is afoot. And so with all transitions, some things remain the same, while other change or are left behind.

If you would have told me 3 years ago as I was studying for the bar that we would be here I would be shocked. But if you would have told me that we would get here after 450 thousand views I’d also be shocked so much attention happened. Words Don’t Do It Justice started as an idea, a bit of fun, and a lot of me. I have buried hatchets with enemies because of this blog, reconnected with old friends, and made new ones because of this blog, found meaning in the midst of my own personal depression because of this place. I have consumed it, and let it consume me. I love it. But loving this blog means knowing what to do. And taking a good long look I know the thing to do is let it go.

But I said this was transition not destruction.

And indeed it is. I’ll be taking Words Don’t Do It Justice away from our blogging past into a show based future. For me, the question was one of logistics. Was it better to end everything and walk away from these years of effort, or find a way to keep the place alive in the hearts of all of you who have supported us? I choose to believe that you will keep supporting us, and I chose to keep this place alive in a new way.

That means giving you what we planned. Give No Quarter, The Wrath of Ruthless, and Words Don’t Do It Justice are the three pillars of Ruthless Radio. 3 shows with different formats that bring you many of the topics you might see written about here, but in a new form and with some new and old faces/voices. Over the next few weeks as we ready to for the relaunch of Words Don’t Do It Justice as a podcast, you’ll get to read some farewells from various alums, and hear from the incoming folks for these shows. You’ll also see the Words Don’t Do It Justice site itself undergo various changes. With plenty of hard work, luck, and you listening in, I hope to earn your trust for these new shows, and continue to hold our interest.

SO! What about Weekend’s Don’t Do It Justice?

Well I’m happy to say our little casual interest site is growing well. And it is going to continue. We had a nice response to the sample chapter from Project 13, and now that game of thrones is done you’ll see a lot of other reviews, news, and related content there. Our gamers are doing their thing, and if Vantinel’s CEO appearance is any indication of commitment, we will only continue to grow over there.

As I end for now I just want to say thank you, and of course to keep watching what we do. But more than that, thank you for being a force for us. We continued to push because you were there with us. 100,000 visitors, 450,000 views, and 3 years of growth, While things must change, I am glad to have made it to this point. A point that let’s me look back and say that YOU made us more than I imagined. And though Words Don’t Do It Justice…Thank you.

 

“THE Ruthless Wonder” Matthew Elisha Williams

Founder of Words Don’t Do It Justice

And now… at the end of the hour

cropped-wordsdontdoit2-1.jpg

This week we debuted a brand new podcast with a livestream. We said goodbye to one of the founders. We tackled coons, and hoteps. As well as assault, and the HIV & AIDS treatment drug Truvada.

 

 

I skipped a couple lines to let that sink in.

When this started I literally just wanted to take my usual facebook ranting to a website. I figured it would be like the old days of my Xanga page. Now, now I deal with potential sponsors, have production meetings, worry about our average listening and reading time, and look for brand expansion.

I remind you, I was so bored in the last semester of law school I decided to make a blog to archive the things I would normally rant about on Facebook.

 

So you can understand that having gone from that place to now is rather…amazing if I’m honest. I had no idea. We’ve added and lost people over that time. But more than their contributions or mine, we’ve gotten to know a lot of you. As of this writing, 92,000 of you have come to get to know us over these 3 years of Words Don’t Do It Justice. And you must like it here, because you’ve dropped in 302,000 times.

300000

That is astounding. That is epic. And to think that it has all come before we put up a single ad, before we shilled a single product, without a marketing team, and mostly from the effort of our authors, and their friends and family who have additionally believed in us and shared us with other people.  I can’t tell you enough thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do. It really has made the difference.

What that means is even what I’ve done in the past year isn’t enough. I have to do more. And I am. While we lost a podcast co-host today, I’m proud to say we gained 2 new ones for our show Give No Quarter. While we have Reason on break for a while, I’m happy to say we will be launching Weekends Don’t Do It Justice as its own site (www.wkndlife.com www.weekendsdontdoitjustice.net www.weekendsdontdoitjustice.com). Look for a review of a hilariously bad movie coming over there soon from me.

Heck, go buy a shirt, phone case, hoodie or tank. https://www.teepublic.com/user/314publishing

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more. Click the photo to go straight to the store!

Check out our current Shirt and cases designs. Buy one now while you wait for more.
Click the photo to go straight to the store!

 

I’m also happy to say that I’m teaming with Mr. 9 to 5 gamer himself Bami O to open a new gaming site and channel called “Save State Society” (www.savestatesociety.com www.savestatesociety.net) here soon as well. And we’re open with some great games and reviews. But that is going to take a lot to talk about, and I’ve got work to do there.

You’re here reading because this is about Words Don’t Do it Justice. The granddaddy of them all. Okay, the origin of them all. Three years in, and even though health wise I’ve dealt with issues. Professional life wise, I’ve had great forward steps but also set backs. Heck life in general being strange. After all that I’m proud of where we are. Where you’ve brought us. And so for the third time we come to the end of the hour. Where I say thank you without any reservations. Where for the third time ever, I get to step out of my role as Head Blogger, Editor, Podcast host, Lucremo, THE Ruthless Wonder, and everything that comes with it, and instead just talk to you as Matt Williams. We have a few reflection pieces and some alumni coming back to give us a piece. And we are going to celebrate all the way to my personal birthday on March 14th. But right now I’m just going to end by saying thank you all for bringing me and us from where we were to where we are and pushing us forward to where we are going next. As always Words Don’t Do YOU Justice.

“THE Ruthless Wonder” Matthew Elisha Williams

Words Don’t Do It Justice: YOU are Forty Thousand Strong on our 2nd Anniversary

Just a reminder where we started.

Just a reminder where we started.

Words Don’t Do It Justice

“It was all a dream.

I used read word up magazine.”

I could keep going with that, but really I don’t feel like quoting too much of anyone else today. So let me address this with the style most comforting.

When this all began it was an idea.

The thought that we could give the world something in this blog that would be read by our friends, maybe a few co-workers and classmates. And every once in a while I’d get to deal with the issues I have to face on a daily basis by just ranting into a text window for 30 minutes to an hour and let the world read. Certainly if we accomplished that I would have called this a successful idea and when the view dwindled I’d close it up and say I had a good time.

But that isn’t what you did. And I say that isn’t what YOU did, because it is true. You are the reason this fun time didn’t turn into just another thing I used to do. YOU made it worth it to find Rufus, Ronin, Roddo, Rebellionista, Realistic Royalty, Princess Devy, Reign, The Revanchist, The Radical Ref, Carl McPhail, Xion, Driving Misty, Rhapsodic, Reason, Kudo, Rhythmic Journey, Revolution In A Jar, causeandeffect88, Bami O, Render Verdicts, Ruminated Thoughts, Keith Labell, Smooth Phuzion, Bree the V, TEH Bobbo, and all the people who wanted to commit but just didn’t have the time to write, be on the podcast, contribute music, or be interviewed.

That wasn’t just me plodding through on my own. That was you reading. That was you sharing. That was YOU telling the world our little corner of the internet was worth checking out. in the first year we did 3500 views. In 2 years we have done 40,000! Because of all of you. And now things are possible that weren’t not long ago. YOU made this happen. People asked me when I started what I expected. They asked me what I wanted. I just wanted people to listen to my thoughts sometimes. It was so simple back then. Now? Now I want the sky and everything beyond. lol just kidding.

Now I want to give you more of what you come here for. So covering Gaming, and other topics, We’re proud to announce that Nine To Five Gamer will be joining us run by Bami O. Look for the official page as well as forums soon. You’re going to read pieces from many of our alumni writers. And that long-awaited revamp/update to the site. I can’t promise you we’ll turn into a Super Villain run Huffington Post by tomorrow. Heck I can’t even promise that by next year. But I can promise we will keep hitting these hot topics with our cold analysis. I can promise we are committed to giving you what you came here for. And I can promise you I WILL NEVER FORGET what drives Words Don’t Do It Justice. Because what drives us is YOU!

My humanity wants to cry by my Super Villainy is smiling too hard and is too excited. Thank you all. THANK YOU. Every super fan. Every random reader Every casual person who checked us out a few times or just once. THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THIS FROM ALL OF US! We couldn’t have done all this without you. Words Do Not Do YOU Justice!

– THE Ruthless Wonder

From the Tuesday file: Confessions of a career fat boy

Confessions of a career fat boy

One of the more interesting and annoying comments I get from my pieces, my podcast, or honestly at times in person is some form of “But you’re fat.” As if that actually means something to me. Here’s what I’m talking about. I recently was looking through my gmail account that I have all hate emails addressed to THE Ruthless Wonder sent to. (Send all hate emails to YourRuthlessWonder@gmail.com) and I came across a message from someone who says they are a woman. I’ll take that at face value. Without going into deep detail, she explained she didn’t care about my opinion about women who put “only date white men” in their dating profiles because “no one wants to date your fatass anyway.”

As far as insults go, that is pretty tame. But I paid attention when a male emailer said the same thing. I think these people(who are statistically speaking probably reading this right now) believe that my weight somehow keeps me from dating, and generally is a way to attack me. Let me clear the record. Dating is never a problem. Hasn’t been since I realized there are women who won’t date me. And I don’t care about them. And there are women who will date me. And they are far more than the first category. But this insult in particular is so old at this point I’m not certain the people using it actually know who the hell they are talking to.

I’m a career fat boy. That means I was lineman in high school, the big kid in middle school, and chubby in elementary. I was even the adorably chubby toddler/baby. Calling me fat is like saying it gets cold in the winter time anywhere north of the mason-dixon. Yeah we know. SO? It isn’t even an insult at this point. When you also here the same “You’re fat” from your doctor, it just sounds like more medical blabbering. If you want to hurt my feelings remind me Sony still gets to make Spiderman movies. Or that Tom Hardy isn’t playing Rick Flag anymore. Or that Constantine might not get a second season on NBC.

It should be abundantly clear on this website I generally don’t care what you have to say unless you have actual criticism of the piece I’ve done, and of course some evidence to back up your claims. Being a career fat boy has hardened me against basically insults. And I’d wager half of your alleged dudes saying it couldn’t hold up for a 2-minute round in ring with me. Much less a chess match. Much less an intellectual debate over ANY and ALL issues.

So why do I address this? Well oddly enough this was supposed to be similar to my odd confessions piece last year. So let’s get to things that I have to confess to as a career fat boy.

1. I hate the idea of diet soda, but force myself to drink it when it is forced on me – most of the time at home if I want a soda I have to abstain for the blood sugar reasons. So when I go out to eat or drink with friends I tend to say okay, special situation, let’s have a couple pops and make it a day. Often without telling me, the waitstaff will switch said soda for diet soda. Or a friend who thinks they are helping will. Beyond being absolutely annoying. It throws off a ton of the diabetic things I have to do(seriously most of my crashes are due to someone taking kill him with kindness too far), and I generally hate the taste. I want the soda because I wanted a soda. Not an attempt to make things seem like soda. But I drink it. Because it is far easier than the long, intervention like discussion, that will be had “because I care about you Matt and I want you to do something better for you.”

2. I lean forward in pictures if I can help it – Most photos that I seem more intense, or stately in are because I learned the trick of leaning forward. I look more intimidating. And it balances out my weight a tad. If I’m leaning back it is because someone caught me off guard, or I was mid laugh, or I wanted to seem more jovial. Just a thing I do. ALL the time.

3. I’m more comfortable leaning against something with a slight sit, than I am sitting, laying, or straight up standing – Oddly this isn’t about laziness, or rest. I just don’t like sitting down. I feel like I should be doing something important if I’m sitting down. I like leaning because I’m doing something. It makes me feel like I’m half into the scene around me, and half in my own head thinking. And yes after all these years I’m just comfortable like that.

4. If you slowed the hell down I would walk with you just about anywhere – My endurance was crap when I’ve been injuried(back and knees), but otherwise walking is something I like doing. So I can walk just about anywhere. I just walk at my pace. Keep my pace and we can stroll all kinds of places.

5. Steak over cake – Look there are people who would be considered fat who have massive sweet tooths. Me? I’m not one of them. I like desserts like the next person. But a great steak. A good burger, some tasty lamb, veal, or pork is going to be a lot more rave worthy with some grapes after it, than a cold sandwich and a magnificent cake. You can season, and grill a steak, and I might just listen to anything you have to say.

6. I love wearing suits – Nothing big here, I just love wearing a suit. It makes me feel more powerful. Even more dominant than usual. Some thing are just that simple.

7. Before I had a ruthless revolution, I still wasn’t a jolly fatman – We’ll end today here because it is a good point to stop. But it is odly perplexing that people think because I have been a career fat boy that I’m somehow formerly a fat happy guy who turned into the arrogant prick with a superiority complex you see before you. Don’t let the million watt smile fool you. I wasn’t as vocal in my disdain for idiots when I was younger. And I didn’t have a penchant for actually telling you I’m smarter than you when I was a lad. But I’ve always known most of the people I was forced to be around were not my intellectual equals, and the ones that were would either absolutely love, be loyal to, and adore me as friends, or loathe me as enemies.

Because that is how it goes. I read the art of war before I was done with the 7th grade and wrote a book report on it talking about how to use it socially. I read more books each year even now than most people have in their life. I’m not jaded, bored, or envious. I’m driven and focused and always have been. So the class clown fat guy looking for attention was never my deal. I know those guys. I’m friends with them. But lumping me into that category is just funny to me. Because I’ve never fit it. But that doesn’t mean I’m unable to relax. I actively make it a point to relax, and feel at least for a time free of all the seriousness. Because I know that I don’t allow myself to not be serious often.

 

That’s all for today. Look for more from us, and a special piece from me Wednesday while Reign is on vacation. Because…Words Don’t Do It Justice!

 

– THE Ruthless Wonder

Words Don’t Do It Justice: Breaking News

Just a reminder where we started.

Just a reminder where we started.

Over the weekend we were very close to an amazing achievement.

On Monday it was so tantalizingly close I was thinking of dropping a post just to help push it over after the Holidays Don’t Do It Justice post.

But Tuesday Night after Posts from Ruminated Thoughts and of course from THE Ruthless Wonder reacting to the decision by the Darren Wilson Grand Jury, we hit a milestone that if I’m honest I didn’t expect until 2015.

SO

On Behalf of the Weekends Don’t Do It Justice Writers Reason, Kudo, Xion, and Lucremo.

On Behalf of the Words Don’t Do It Justice Guest Bloggers, The Justice League.

On Behalf of the Words Don’t Do It Justice Alumni writers

On Behalf of the Keith Labell and Smooth Phuzion who provide music for The WDDIJcast and The WRATH of Ruthless.

On Behalf of Reign, The Revanchist, Ruminated thoughts, and Ronin

And on Behalf of 314 Publishing, Imperial Dreams Productions, and WORDS DON’T DO IT JUSTICE

THE Ruthless Wonder is proud to announce that as of November 25th, 2014 Words Don’t Do It Justice has reached 9,200 views!

ALL Because of YOU!

ALL Because of YOU! Photo edit credit: JohnHenry Balsa

And we have you to thank.

Every one of you who shares us with you friends on facebook and your followers on twitter.

Every one of you who comes back even on days when no one has posted just to see if something is dropping.

Every one of you who has stuck by us since my very first post to this very day.

Thank you for being our superfans.

Thank you for believing in us.

Words do no do you justice.

 

I could say it a thousand times and it wouldn’t be enough. But I’ll say it one more time.

We love you all.

Thank you!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU! Photo Edit Credit: Steven Cockrell

– YOUR Ruthless Wonder

“Fear And Loathing in Saint Louis” or My trip to Ferguson Part 2: Fear of a Reasonable Black Planet

We were somewhere near the McDonald’s on West Florissant, when the tension began to take hold. My buddy was of course filled with a bit of dread from the moment I parked and we started walking around down there, but I of course had no similar mentality. It wasn’t until I was keenly aware that the crowd down at the QuikTrip had become loud enough to hear where we were(And between us and the car), that I thought the day might begin to turn. Still even at this time we were seeing protestors talking to te few police that were there. We were hearing talk of people in and out of the McDonald’s hoping for peace. And I got to meet a couple of journalists including a wire reporter who clearly was dealing with a photographer on her first true assignment.

As we headed back to the car so I could reposition and we could get some better quotes. I wanted to see what things looked like. It was the first time the police had stopped talking to other folks to talk to me. So of course I asked a few questions about response, set up for the evening, and why they were set up in the fashion they were. But we also snapped some photos that of course appear below. Ones that show they had already planned to use tear gas or some other gas based “crowd control device” as one officer called it. Otherwise why have the gas masks at 5pm?

As we headed back towards the growing crowd, the car, and what was sure to be an interesting stopping point, some guys had gotten on top of what looked like a moving truck and were riling up the crowd. Nothing uncommon about it. Just chants of No Justice, No Peace, and similar mantras. But the mood was shifting. I wouldn’t know how much so until moments later as we neared the car and many of the comments of “I pray for some peace tonight during the memorial,” were responded to by someone saying, “What has peace gotten us? What did peace get Mike?”

We snapped some more photos and got a great story about the arrest of a protestor earlier in the week who had legitimately not even started protesting when she was arrested while being asked to leave. But we soldiered on. At first following what seemed to be a SWAT truck heading in a roundabout way for the same area we just left. And that chase turned into a convoy of 5 or so trucks heading into the area around 7pm. But 7:30, thanks to some google maps reading, we were staring at another block of the area and 5 more trucks clearly having just arrived. Positioned near the Market.

Something was up. And I wanted to get over to the small peaceful protest at the police trailer before we left town, or things got out of hand, whichever came first. Over there we found a much more calm and far smaller affair. But I couldn’t help but laugh in terror and surprise at something we found out. The Ferguson Police department was in a trailer. Yes a trailer, while they were building a brand new facility. A facility that looked close to opening. And I could not get over the sudden dread that this entire situation would do little more than speed that construction and the community’s demand for it, as well as potential expansion. Like I said. I laughed, in surprise and terror.

Unlike the West Florissant location it was a clearly small and peace focused location. A woman appeared with her gospel music pretty loud and was told to turn it off. “We aren’t trying to antagonise or have an agenda other than justice.” Is what one of the people there said. And then while my buddy was grabbing some additional quotes from folks, we were told there was going to be a short prayer rally at the site of the shooting itself and people were headed there. We took one more go at getting a look, and the crowd in the area was massive. While maybe 500 or so were on the street at West Florissant before it was clearly beyond doubled. And far louder, and the reactions on police faces, and protestors were far more strained and tense. When things were clearly headed to what we know now was one of the worst nights, I was on my way out of town, stopping for gas and food far outside the community.

But that’s my impression overall. And I know you didn’t come to read this for just that. I want tel you briefly what disgusted me before I get to the far more antagonistic portion of my commentary. I saw something at the church and at the various rally and protest points that screamed hypocrisy. It is a hot day in Missouri so I get it that businesses in the area are selling out on water and other things to keep cool. but I saw makeshift stands selling bottled water and food  40 feet from folks who were giving it away free. At the police station the snack stand was directly behind the protestors and we were asked more than once if we wanted to spend our money to “help them out.” I’d heard earlier about this from a couple of very cool journalists and these folks had no connection to the family or any of the donation raising efforts. Just opportunitists using tragedy to stay in the black.

BBQ stands, Ice Cream trucks, unofficial “#JusticeForMikeBrown” shirts. And did I walk up and talk to them? Absolutely. Only one, a guy who I recognized from the Trayvon Martin Rallies when I was in Law School, mentioned any plans to donate even part of the money made to the family. I trusted the local McDonald’s more than these other folks though.

And that brings me to the elephant in the room. The looting. The rioting. And of course, the interactions with police. Early on I said and still believe that the key to making a larger point is not destroying your own community. Why am I advocating the destruction of other community’s? I’m not idiot. I’m saying that if the point is you are angry and you think all you have left is violence, then making sure you can no longer live in your house isn’t a smart move. Whether or not I oppose rioting(I oppose rioting for a long list of reasons we’ll get into some other time), location wise tearing up the places you are most likely to use only says you don’t deserve them and makes businesses move out. Going outside your community says “You no longer are safe and free of dealing with the problems you bring into my community.” And yes that is a much more powerful message.

But the Riots I have thought for some time have been the work of some group that wants more inroads and control, as well as to swing the narrative their direction. Now I could be cynical and say the media, or republicans, but I’m not certain of that. Take a look at this video.

Now I cannot substantiate this claim. But I present you with the following correlation that may not be causation, so I am NOT calling this the truth, I’m saying it should be investigated.

Throughout the day the largest media presence were multiple teams from what they called themselves “The Socialist News Network” Now, I’ve not seen them on any of the websites that claim to be socialists. And none of them would produce a business card. But they were keenly interested in talking to folks of the far more revolution ready set. And when they talked to me? Well I can’t get across the point better than the white guy with a fauxhawk blazer and dockers with boat shoes said it. “We’re here because we want to show that the system is broken and that we should start getting rid of the corrupt US government through armed rebellion. Starting right here in Ferguson.”

Am I saying they are there causing violence in an attempt to make inroads into the black community, as well as prove that they can stir people into armed rebellion? NO. Am I saying they are actually the socialist news network? NO. What I am saying is someone is manipulating things to get the message, direction, and actions of people who want to legitimately protest a legitimately fucked up situation for their own ends. And you can’t trust most folks who are around.

We ran into many folks who also felt like people were pushing for things to happen as a point of something larger. I couldn’t have been happier about things than when the protestors kicked Jesse Jackson out for trying to turn things into his own personal “Hey I’m alive and need to be relevant” campaign. But I want to end by talking about this bigger idea I have. What if the point is to keep things stuck in a post civil rights area tension instead of addressing racial issues and moving forward as Americans.

What are you talking about Ruthless?

I’m saying this exactly. What is scarier for racists, bigots, idiots, asshats, and of course redneck, inbred, methhead shit hook misogynist homophobes, the groups they hate being wantonly violent and confrontational, or organizing power and influence in immediate fashion to bring about the things that they want? If suddenly everything is moving in a positive way with frightening efficiency and promise? If everyone involved has moved things the direction of justice? Suddenly all the talking points of certain Oxycontin addicted radio hosts have to get stuffed back down their fuckfaces doesn’t it? Suddenly “their kind” is being used to refer to those dinosaurs of the human age, that refuse to evolve like the rest of us. And it can’t be passed off as PC run amuck, or apologist culture.

All respect to Public Enemy but it isn’t just a Black Planet that is feared. It’s a reasonable Black population that solidifies its power into accomplishing things. It’s why Good men and women had to die in the civil rights movement. And I’m not saying violence doesn’t have its own place. But proportionality and timing are as important if not more so than the violence itself. Seems like an interesting finality to deal with does it not? A world where your antiquated thinking is what makes you inferior. Well the people who see that as an amazing idea. Congrats, you are a higher thinking being worthy of being called a Human. The ones that don’t or immediately started thinking of ways to disagree with the statement with overtly showing your internal biases that I called out. get back down their with the more animalistic bigots you decry or are a part of.

Justice for Mike Brown comes with the use of more than more force. And takes far longer than some hashtag activism on Facebook and twitter. See you when the trial starts. For now. I’ll leave you with the photos we took.

I’ll let you react to the photos as you chose. Because I didn’t just take shot of people who’s message I agreed with. I didn’t just take shots of people I thought were taking the wrong tactical approach. Because I’m not beholden to any agenda here than making you think and bringing more light and perspective. Because in the end…Words Don’t Do It Justice!

– THE Ruthless Wonder

In defense of donuts doughnuts

You may notice I vary from donut to doughnut. This is intentional. Be not alarmed.

So the good news is that I will be going down south soon. It’s been too long since I’ve been there. The warm weather. The easier pace of… Well, everything. Oh, and the comforting food.

Oh my the food. And the non food.

One thing I miss is the junk food that only the south seems to offer. Oh I can get a Twinkie now and a whoopie pie at any corner market. I can find boston cream pies and gorilla bar ice cream cakes all over the place. But if I want a donut. A real doughnut, then I’ve got a real challenge ahead of me.

Y’see I’ve been trapped in the evil empires grip for years now. I’ve been from town to town and neighborhood to neighborhood in search of greatness. A place where if I want a delicious warm and fresh doughnut, by and large, I’m going to be disappointed.

I guess I’m spoiled. I grew up in the Midwest. In the Midwest, I could count on mom and pop shacks to fill my gaping maw with sweet goodness every day. Delicious rings of gooey goodness that coat my fingers with sticky deliciousness. And the question wasn’t where to find that little piece of heaven. But how many could I afford to shove in my mouth? Larger size pants can be costly, let me tell you.

Here, in the northeast there is a definite hollow sucking sound where good doughnuts should be. With no apologies to the ubiquitous Dunkin’ Donuts franchise, I have not yet had so good a doughnut as in the Midwest and the south. The Longs Bakery of Indianapolis. The Top Pot donuts of Seattle. The Krispy Kreme of most southern states. All make decidedly better sinkers to pair with my coffee than anything else I’ve tried up here.

I once asked a life long resident of these states why the donuts up here are so bad. In fact, when I see folk leaving a chain donut store here, they typically have an iced coffee and not a donut of any kind. So I asked, what gives? They invariably reply that they remember a time where the local donut shops had bakeries in the rear and shelves out front. Today the shelves are also in back and only receive shipments from bakeries in far away factories, where defenseless donuts are hustled into a box truck and shipped to brick and mortars all over the region.

Barbaric.

How that model ever survived or outlasted real donuts is anyone’s guess. But I think it has something to do with the sour looks on many peoples faces I see daily. Maybe if they had a good donut for once, they’d smile again. Just a guess.

So these poor, cold, dry donuts are peddled off as something America runs on. Cold coffee. Cold donuts. Shiver

Jump cut to a Krispy Kreme. Man those are real doughnuts. I went into one last spring and lost my mind. I knew I was in for a treat when I drove up. The Hot Now sign was on. I had already heard the legend of that sign. So in I went, and when I opened the door I was shocked. I saw a small glass case and behind it were several people operating a true conveyor belt with glistening white icing drooling over fresh out of the fryer doughnuts. I was sure I’d died and gone to doughnut heaven. Afraid I’d ruin the dream I asked for a set of two doughnuts. I could barely stop grinning. Oh, who am I fooling? I didn’t want to stop grinning. I just plunked down my money, shoved a warm doughnut in my pie hole and skipped happily through the door.

Five hours later I returned. I was amazed the sign was still declaring the doughnuts as hot and ready right now. So dutifully I went in and saw that it was true. They WERE still rolling down the conveyor belt. What could I do? I bought another doughnut. But this time I wanted a very fresh one.

Big mistake.

I gestured at the rolling metal belt and said that I wanted “… That one… Right. There.” And it was a very plump and very gooey doughnut. I was asked if I wanted it in a bag. I looked at him like he had just given me directions to a local Dunkin’ Donuts.

“No, I wanna eat it now, thanks.” I gratefully accepted the doughnut in a single sheet of wax paper. I placed that big mistake in my mouth and bit down. The mistake was assuming I could handle a fresh doughnut. Nope. I literally drooled. So embarrassing. The sensation of a warm, yeasty goodness, rich in sugary everything that did the Texas two-step on my tongue was more than I could bear. I was utterly unprepared for how good a truly fresh doughnut could be. It actually melted on my tongue and as suddenly as I bought it, I ate it. There was no evidence of my having eaten anything save the wax paper in my hand. It went away in my mouth like fresh spun cotton candy at the state fair.

So I bought one more.

At this rate, I’d go broke and not need to try and fly home because I’d have no money to buy a ticket. But I’d have doughnuts. Kind of a fair trade I think. But now I was at a fever pitch. I had to include the rest of my family in this one.

So I grabbed my senior heir and dragged my future into the store, shoved a bill into her hand, and said, “.. Take. Eat. This is the dollar I have shed for you. Eat a real doughnut for once in your short life. Please. And as oft as you eat it, remember the name, Krispy Kreme.”

I was a complete man. I had created a convert to the church of fresh doughnuts not “fresh” donuts. Together we went around bearing witness to any who would give us ear the good news.

And I’ve never been the same since.